Life and the Pursuit of Happiness

Its All About the Weight

2012-01-27T14:42:00.001-08:00

Inspired by friends, family and famous people all on Weight Watchers, I joined their online program. Today is my second day. I'm starving. But in a good way. Let's backtrack though.

I'm down to my pre-pregnancy weight of 140. But thats not enough. I have not been able to work out at all, so thats a 'soft' 140, not a lean mean built 140. And while places that got thin from my horribly sick 1st trimester - like my legs and face - look pretty good, my stomach is still bigger than pre-pregnancy. And since thats the largest part on me anyway, even though I'm back to my 'normal' weight, I dont fit in all my old clothes.

Whats more is that since high school, I have been slowly creeping up in weight to where I am now. The lowest I ever remember being was 104, when I was a freshman in high school and was wrestling. Of course this was, for the most part, before real puberty. I was about 117 when I graduated high school. I was extremely fit, as I was active in sports all year round. From there, while in college I maxed out at about 147 during the worst of my pizza at 2am + no exercise days. I got active again after that and dropped back down to about 133, which is where I was when Ryan and I got married. Since getting married and having kids, I've settled back down to the 140 I am at right now.

Well that is not ok with me. I dont want to continue gaining a pound (or more) a year, and end up obese by the time I'm middle aged. I want to still be fit, healthy and sexy when I am (gasp) middle aged, only 10 years from now! I want to still be active with Ryan, be able to do the kind of backpacking and hiking we did when we first met, and still feel sexy enough for a romp on the trail (as opposed to feeling like a beached whale struggling to flop up the mountain).

While I can't really do too much about the exercise right now - that is whole other story - I CAN do something about my intake and therefore my weight.

I also have another reason to care about the food I eat: It is also the food I prepare for my family. Ryan is a lost cause (he grew up on cereal for 2 out of 3 meals a day, and his mother tricked his dad into eating soy beans by calling them 'baby lima beans'. As far as he is concerned, vegetables are a waste of valuable stomach space that you could be filling with carbs), but I CAN teach my girls about what real (vs processed) food is, and how to prepare and eat it. And more importantly, how it fuels the body and gives it all the nutrients it needs to be strong and vibrant.

I'm proud to say that Rory cooks dinner with me every night now, and probably can name more fruits and vegetables by sight in their raw, natural state than many adults across the nation today.

But....

I know the portions I eat are too much. I know that I eat things that even as I am eating them I think dont taste good enough to be worth eating - and I still eat them anyway. I know that I eat past the point of being full many times just because it is on the plate. I know that I go back for second, third or forth servings of something really deliciously bad at a weekend event even though I KNOW it will cause me to gain back every pound I fought so hard to loose during the work week. I know I still cook with a little too much butter... too much cream... too much cheese... too much of the yummy bad stuff. My weight proves there is improvement to be made in these ways. So when I looked into weight watchers and found out that I could do it online for only $20 a month, and Ryan was supportive when I talked to him about it, I jumped on it.

Why do I think this will work better than a journal or any other diet? Its all about an allotment and tracking. See its impossible if I make a pasta dish for me to calculate out how many calories are in my one serving. And by the time dinner rolls around, all I have is my stomach to tell me if I have already had a lot to eat that day and need to go easy on dinner (not so reliable when it sees that Ryan makes double batches of brownies for breakfast on his day off). So Weight Watchers is perfect, because they have this really great "recipe builder" tool on their site to calculate that all out for you. Granted its not the easiest thing in the world but its good enough for an internet savy person to find what they need and figure out the point values of what you are eating given some time. And nearing the end of my second day, it's awesome because I now have a hard LIMIT to follow for how much to eat. I can do that!

Crazy Abby

2012-01-27T14:33:00.001-08:00

My crazy youngest daughter has in the last 2 weeks (in her 6th month):

Gone from sitting propped up to being able to sit up herself from laying down.
Started pulling herself up to standing.
Cut her first teeth - bottom two - and has been MISERABLE through it.
Started eating real food, and savors every bite. She really wants to eat what we are and fingerfood, but gets so hungry she 'settles' for baby food and gobbles it down.
Outgrown her size 1-2 diapers and is now in full 2's.

6 Months? Already?

2012-01-05T10:09:00.000-08:00

Wow. On the 10th - less than a week from now - my baby girl will be 6 months old. Ill give that a second to sink in. 6 months. Ive been spending so much time trying to get through what I imagine to be the toughest year of my parenting life, half of that year has snuck up from behind me and bopped me on the head. I mean, really? Abby was just born. 6 months ago. Ok, ok, moving on.

I do feel as if we are getting things down and at least half of the time I have things borderline under control. We have settled into a routine with Abby, and know what her triggers are, and try to avoid them at any cost. (The wrath of Abby is not something to mess with or joke about. Its serious. Its shrill. Its loud. It makes your skin crawl and your stomach churn.)There are two things that always make her happy, no matter what. 1. The carrier. My Ergo has become our best friend, as well as anyone who is helping with her. 2. My breasts. This girl LOVES to nurse.

I want to talk about it a little bit, because its become probably the most important part of my life at this time. Abby loving to nurse is special to me. Rory didnt. In fact, after I went back to work she weaned herself and stopped breastfeeding at all, except for the early morning feeding when she was really relaxed and sleepy. My production slowly decreased and 5 long months of pumping after returning to work, my production was not worth my time pumping and I stopped. Abby is a different story. In fact, recently she has gone on a bottle strike. She has refused to drink anything from the bottle for Ryan for an entire day, for Cheryl for 4 hours, and now even Diane, for 2 days now. She just waits until I get back to her, then wants to nurse every few hours. It keeps me up at night, and Im tired, but if Im being honest with myself, I have to admit that I LOVE it. Abby is my baby. And she loves me. She loves me more than anything else. (Well, she loves my boobs, but they are a part of me.) Sometimes when I am away from her my boobs actually ache and itch for her to be in my arms, sucking away. And when she is in my arms, it just feels right. Everything is as it should be in that moment.

I have decreased my pumping. Being back at work now for three months, and my production only slowing as I have wanted it to, I feel secure. So I only pump twice a day at work, and then not at all when I am with her (unless it gets out of control and I have to pump some off just to release some pressure). I have given away half of my storage (all from August and some from September) and I am thinking that I might not ever need any of it.

She is also about this close to crawling. She is full on army crawling, and if you put her down on the ground and turn around, she will be clear across the other side of the room. If you prop her up she can sit up for a few seconds without falling and if you stand her up against something she will stand there for several seconds before she looses her balance and falls down. This girl is determined to be on the go.

Aurora is still no closer to being potty trained. We have given up, and just try to ask her as often as we can if she wants to use the potty. I guess it will happen when it happens. I know I could train her bootcamp style - if I had an undivided weekend with my full attention to spend. But I dont, so screw it. Its the same with weaning her from her paci.

Abby turning 6 months old also means we are one step closer to our next vehicle, which is going to be a Jeep. Probably in a year from now. The accident with the Mazda was probably the best thing in the world for us - noting that Ryan was totally unharmed from it. For one thing, we realized that we didnt need a second vehicle. The second thing we realized was that the Mazda was a great people/town vehicle, and a good option for a "family" vehicle, but it wasnt the ideal one for us. And finally, with it being totaled we were able to reassess our situation and really look at what we needed and wanted in one. We had already known that a large part of the family that we want to raise our girls in is a traveling, outdoorsy family. We want to camp and hike. All the time. We want to take lots of road trips. We want to visit the great outdoors. And we dont want to do it in a touristy, crowded, paved kind of way. We want to do it in an off road way - take the road less traveled. So with hours hunched over crazy Ryan spreadsheets, and after countless talks before bedtime, and after work car talks in our too-small-for-a-family-of-4-Corolla researching every other vehicle on the market that could possibly meet our needs (and wants, hopes and dreams for our active family lifestyle) we have decided that a Jeep is where it is at. We are excited to for once have something to religiously save for (instead of just doing it to be judicious with our money - which is what we normally do), and very much looking forward to this next stage in our lives. It symbolizes freedom to us. Because it means that we finally have our own family to do what we want - instead of being a part of someone elses and doing what they want.

Rory Stories

2012-01-03T09:19:00.001-08:00

I have lots of updates but for now, a quick fun update on Rory. She is talking so much and being so fun with it!

This morning I told her she was a "smart cookie". She said, "me not cookie, me gurl!"

Yesterday at Blake and Keira's party she was wearing some stick on earrings. I told her to show Daddy her earrings, which she did. He replied in a mad voice, "WHOOOO has earrings?!?!?!"
"Keira!"
"Who else?"
"Mommy!"
"Well then what are those in YOUR ears???"
"Stickers."

Love it. Not even 3 and already spinning the story. lol!

Cross Christmas Letter 2011

2011-12-21T08:07:00.000-08:00

(Not as pretty as the formatted one, but...)

Well, if you had not noticed, its been two years since we checked in with many of you. I am writing this letter after consulting with my blog and our calendar… since there is no way in heck my mommy brain would remember all of this. {I can’t remember what I did three seconds ago} That’s the main reason I still blog, to remember what the heck happened just last week! {Yup I’m no help. I can’t remember what I did three seconds ago. Whoa déjà vu.} So in the last two years, we got pregnant again, had another kid, and are barely surviving them both… {Yup I think I’m suffering from shell shock, I can’t remember what I did three seconds ago. Wait a minute…}

Aurora took her first steps just shy of 11 months old, and got her first tooth shortly after. We had a big blow out birthday party at a nearby park in May for her 1st birthday. {I apologize to everyone for the BBQ. I have had my charcoal license suspended until Blake can teach me how to not set the BBQ on fire, or take 3 hours to get everyone’s hot dogs out.} Everyone knows that their 1st birthday party is really just for the parents. It’s all about inviting everyone and it doesn’t really matter what you do. (When they are old enough to have an opinion it’s a different story. Which is why for her second birthday we had a small get together at her FAVORITE place: Chuck E Cheese, and with all her little friends). We will do the same all out bash for Abby’s 1st birthday and can’t wait to see everyone!

As a brief backtrack, sometime around February of 2010 we decided that we were going to only have 2 children {I decided two was more than enough and finally convinced Loralyn that the stress of four kids would shorten my lifespan to sometime between last Thursday and next week}, and that we wanted to try to space them out 2 years apart, not 3 like we had previously talked about {Which is to say I decided that I wanted the last one out of the house one year sooner.} We decided to start trying again in October, and if we didn’t get pregnant by the holidays to stop trying until March to avoid a holiday baby (no offence to any holiday babies, but the holidays are hectic, and expensive enough) {Even more important, I hate the song Santa Baby}. So fast forward to November. We went to Vegas with my best friend from childhood Nicole and her husband, Jason. I was starting to get some subtle symptoms that I thought might be a sign that I was pregnant, but couldn’t believe that twice in a row I would have gotten pregnant right out of the gate. {Hung over, Pregnant… Who knew?} That next week my period was due (and the point where I could take a pregnancy test). {You all know Loralyn. Are you really surprised she mentioned her period in our Christmas letter?} It also happened to be guy’s poker night at our neighbors. Small note that three of my other friends were already pregnant (Elly was due first, then Alyssa, then Ashley). All us girls were hanging with the kids at our place. {In retrospect it was like the critical nuclear mass. Never again should so many female hormones be that close together.} I was technically due the next day and had the pregnancy test but didn’t want to take it until a few missed days. Well the girls convinced me to take it then. Surprise! It was positive. We debated the best way for me to tell Ryan, and decided the time was never better than right then. We videotaped it and it was hilarious {That was certainly not the best way, very funny yes; but not so informative or smooth}. For those who have not seen it, here is the youtube link. It’s worth your time, promise. http://youtu.be/LzENaeCKtbs

That’s where things started to go downhill. About two weeks after finding out, the morning sickness kicked in and I was infinitely sicker with Abby than I was with Aurora. I lost about 5 lbs and got sick at the smell of just about everything (including the smell of my own house). {Hyper ventilate just outside the house, open the door, run to the bathroom, then yell at Ryan for not steam sterilizing the house twice a day} I pretty much turned into a couch zombie for 3 months until it finally subsided. I can honestly say that it was the most horrible thing I have ever had to endure {Me too}, and that includes two natural child births; one of which was 100% pain medication free. In that time Ryan and Rory’s diet consisted of exclusively peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, I survived the beautiful wedding of our cousins Philip and Nicole Cross (I just wish I could have enjoyed it more!), and the holidays, all of which were laced with my arch nemesis in pregnancy; poultry. {It instantly triggered vomiting. In retrospect it’s pretty funny. Makes Superman’s kryptonite look silly.} Um, no. Not funny, even in retrospect. Anyway, thus, the reason why no Christmas cards or letters from us made it out last year.

Earlier this year, we had THE ultrasound. We had decided keep the sex a secret until the birth but we had a defunct rad tech, and she slipped up several times; we were having a girl. {She was so bad I thought she was trying to be misleading: she’s moving around, she won’t get in position, etc. Wink wink nudge nudge. I walked away thinking we were having a boy.} But with a girl we were relieved to know that we could bunk them together in the long run and that we could stay in our condo forever after if need be, and that we would be able to reuse all of the toys, clothes and girly things. {Three women, 1.5 bathrooms; nope the need is even greater now for a new place. And I’m sure more girls means more competition and justification for more clothes – not a cost savings for sharing/reuse. Honestly, when in the history of man has a group of girls going shopping been cheaper than just one going?} The rest of my pregnancy was as comfortable as can be expected. So now between the 5 couples that we fondly call the “crew”, there are 8 kids all spanning only 2.5 years from the oldest to youngest. Enough to start a daycare just between us!

Just before Abby was born, Ryan was in a car accident in the Mazda. It was totally the other driver’s fault but in the process of the insurance companies taking their sweet time finalizing things, we realized that we didn’t really NEED a second vehicle. So we decided to pocket what they gave us and make a go at just driving the Corolla. We are still going strong and while it is a small inconvenience here and there for appointments and errands, overall we actually get more time together and are forced to tackle our errands, chores and appointments as a team instead of individually. Things become a “family” effort instead of just what Ryan does and what I do. {Now I just need to build an electric moped child carrier and then I can be the Ultra-Eco-Hipster-Megazord. That’s right Prius-Princesses and Voltron-Voltsters at the stop light I get to look down on YOU! Oh yeah and to balance out the cosmic karma I’ll upgrade the Corolla to a 15 mpg Monster-Jeff-Jeep… Muahahahaha!} Oh God help us…

Abby’s birth was wonderful and fabulous (which you all know about from Abby’s announcement and birth story) and only 4 weeks later we were in Vegas for Ryan’s brother’s wedding. Both Ryan and I got to be part of the wedding party. {Awesome groomsmen gift, almost worth wearing that suit…} We decided to leave Aurora home with my Mom, and the weekend was really wonderful and actually enjoyable even with a newborn in tow. My insanely huge breastfeeding boobies were especially fitting in the Vegas scene, and Alyssa made a beautiful bride and has finally joined the rankings as a Cross woman. {My sincerest apologies Alyssa :0) } She knew what she was getting herself into. Anyway, finishing up their wonderful news, Blake has officially been accepted into the Navy, and leaves for boot camp in January.

In August, my mom had surgery on her shoulder for a torn rotator cuff, and it was really hard not to be able to help her as much as I would have liked (seeing as how I had my hands full with two little ones!) but it was harder for her not to be able to hold the girls. Luckily, since I was off on maternity leave during that time I was at least able to visit her often and take her mind off of being all strapped down and not having use of her arm. She is doing much better now and has gained much mobility back.

I turned 30 and returned to work, both in October. {It’s more like the 9th anniversary of her 21st birthday} Returning to work was much different this time; with Aurora I was so sad and felt extremely guilty. This time, I was so excited to get a daily break where I could go pee when I needed to and take a lunch break. There is give and take though; while work offers a much needed break from the house and the girls and adult time and conversation, you still have all of your regular chores to fit into a smaller period of time. When I was home with them, I had all day to do a load of laundry, even if it was started and stopped 10 times and took all day. Now it still has to be fit in, all around two fulltime working schedules. {Welcome to earth my daughters; I will be your chauffer, waiter, busboy, trampoline, and payroll clerk, I don’t need sleep, and after you go to sleep I will only do chores.} It is hectic for sure, but our girls bring us so much joy. {And used diapers. They’ve brought us a lot of those so far.}

My brother’s girlfriend, Danielle is pregnant, and we just found out recently that they are having a boy! While it was unexpected, they are very excited and we are happy that our kids will be so close in age. {Rory is getting really good at her family trees} (Skye and I are 9 years apart but our kids will be not more than 3 years apart oldest to youngest). They have much to discuss and figure out, as Skye is trying to finish college at SDSU here and Danielle currently lives up in Northern California with her toddler son Carson, but I have never seen Skye happier than he is now and as they say, “with love, all things are possible”. They both have families that love them deeply and will support them on their journey. {“Hard work is painful when life is devoid of purpose. But when you live for something greater than yourself and the gratification of your own ego, then hard work becomes a Labor of Love.”} I couldn’t have said it better myself, my dear. And with that, we leave you with love and well wishes to you and yours as we embark on the New Year.

Much Love,
Ryan, Loralyn,
Aurora (2 ½) & Abigail (5 mo)

The Holidays Are Upon Us!

2011-11-30T13:00:00.000-08:00

Well the holidays are just around the corner. We got our pics back from our holidays shoot with Becky of Captured with Care Photography and they were amazing. We ordered our cards through costco and now we have to get our letter together! Its going to be a doozy, as we never got cards or letters out last year due to me being so sick with Abby. Its interesting it has actually brought up a number of emotions in me that I had no idea were inside me about it. Something about that 1 year anniversary of the terribleness that I went through the first trimester with Abby and what I put everyone around me through while I was just trying to survive... I don't know, I can't explain, it; I just never want to go through anything like that ever again! But I'm past it and have my beautiful sweet Abby now. :0)

We got our tree this week. We got a smaller 5' tree and put it on our coffee table. That way its nice and tall like a big tree, but lighter, and easier to manage (not to mention cheaper) and there is room for the presents underneath and all around! Ryan made the mistake of asking Rory what color tree she wanted and she answered Purple. Ryan told her it only came in Green but she was very upset. lol. She was very excited to decorate it too. I didn't even care that not everything made it onto the tree, or that the distribution of kinds of ornaments was not even. I'm just happy she got to be a part of it!

We recently got a new camera (a Sony) and we are loving it. It takes the best automatic shots, and has really awesome "expensive camera" settings to get the shots you want but in a point in shoot (panorama, blurred background settings are two of my favs). Its crazy to think that we got it for around $250 which is like half of what we paid like 7 years ago for a "fancier" bigger camera that doesnt take as good of pictures without messing with tons of settings manually. Technology sure does move quick.

Abby is doing great; I actually got wonderful sleep last night. We went to bed earlier than normal, Abby went to bed later than normal, and I got to sleep in an extra 30 min today becuase Ryan has the girls today. She only woke up at 2:30 and 4:30 (normally its around 1am, 3am and 5am). Its so funny how different she is turning out to be from Rory. My Mom has suddenly been reminded that Abby acts exactly how I did as a baby. Every time something comes up shes like, "Oh yeah... Yup! Thats just how you were!" lol. (Rory was the easiest baby ever; happy to go to anyone, happy doing anything, hardly complained at all about anything, slept through the night no problem even though she was small). Abby wants to be held almost always, but if she is awake she wants to be facing out and able to see everything that is going on. She loves to be entertained and is totally fascinated by the TV (Rory had no interest and even to this day gets restless at about the hour mark of any movie). If I am around and in the room, she rarely goes to anyone else, and she LOVES to nurse. The second I get home from work - even though she is not really hungry and just got a full bottle like an hour before - wants to get some Mommy time in. She also loves rattles and chew toys (Rory never played with them at all), and is drooling up a storm. I think she will probably get her first tooth long before Rory did (at 11 months). Even their poop schedule is totally different. Abby is multiple times a day, normally at the tail end of a feeding. Rory was a crazy huge one only once every few days.

And Rory, while looking just like me is totally different than I was. Apparently I was (yes I know, gasp) very quiet and reserved as a young child, and preferred to play by myself off in a corner. Rory is just a total ham, jumping around like a hooligan singing and dancing. Her vocabulary and speech continues to improve and impress us. She talks about and understands concepts now, not just verbs and nouns. She talks about things she might do or might happen "someday" and tells us that she wants a pink pony when she grows up. I told her one day that she made me "this" happy, and she replied, "me make happIER!" I've begun correcting her when she says "me" and it should be "I". Sometimes she whips out 5+ word sentences and I'm just amazed. When did our little baby girl turn into a little girl?

I'm just totally in love with both of them! Of course that is probably the sleep talking. :0)

Somethings Gotta Give

2011-11-09T08:26:00.001-08:00

Ok Ill try to stick to the essentials because once again, I have waited too long between posts. Rory hand foot and mouth disease just after Halloween. Not sure where the heck she got it but gave it to all the other kids at Diane's. Poor things. Luckily Abby did not get it. The same week, she popped her second molar (upper left). She is now wearing 2t (3t in shirts). It is pretty amazing how much talking she is doing. Well I guess I would classify it as conversing more. I told her the other day, "You make me so happy, Rory". She replied back, "You me make happier!". She still insists on her "paci" at bedtime, in the car, and anytime she gets upset. She still drinks a 6 oz bottle of milk first thing in the morning and before brushing teeth to go to bed. She has a Dora the Explorer flashlight that she insists on sleeping with. She loves sleeping in her bunk bed. I gave her her first real haircut (besides bangs).

Abby got her first cold when Aurora got the HM&F. It was mild, and was just a runny nose. She is not sleeping well. Dr. said its totally normal, shes just small and has a small tummy and cant go that long without eating. (at her BEST during the day shes only eating 4 oz a time every 3 hours). She does get a good stretch from 7pm when we put her down to about midnight when she first needs to eat again. Its just unfortunate that we dont get to sleep during that time! We have tried to extend her bedtime but she gets so overtired and its really hard to settle her back down (we learned that from our weeks of "colicky" evenings). Its really just a lot of little things adding up; with Aurora she was going to bed later so the stretch was more in line with our sleep, she dropped the midnight feeding sooner, we didnt have to get up as early since we didnt have as much to do to get out the door for work, and it was easier for one of us to nap if we needed it to catch up. We stopped swaddling her a few weeks ago. Tried her in our bed so I could get to her faster and that was better than before, but then she was getting startled too much so we got out Rory's bat tent and for the last few nights have used that, putting her to sleep on her stomach. That has worked out much better. Last night she was good; midnight feeding, 2:00 pacifier which only tided her over until 2:30 when I had to feed her again, then she was fine until I woke her up at 6 to eat before I pumped. She is in0-3 clothes now. Eyes are a deep dark hazel, but brown in some light. At her 4 month old apt on Wed she was 10 lbs 8 oz, and 23 inches long. After just telling the Dr that Abby was not anywhere close to rolling over and had no intention of it, she busted out two back to stomachs in a row last night. Ryan was way more excited than he normally is about those kinds of things, and I realized after he commented on it that this is the first "milestone" that is tangible proof that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that we wont be slaves to the sleepless nights, frequent feedings and unending diaper changes forever.

Luckily my milk production has stayed high. I have an insane stock pile of it in the chest freezer. I actually started donating my extra again since my production shows no sign of slowing even after being back at work for over a month. (Last time it was already decreasing significantly by now) I'm so grateful to Abby for being such a good bottle to boob feeder. Because she is being so good to me in that aspect, I am committed to spending the time and effort to continue nursing and pumping to a year. Its helping my weight come down too. I've had like 3 days at 139. It would be awesome if I could get down to 135. I have to say though I have been craving some serious physical activity. But family walks will just have to suffice until I get back some of my time. I just have to make peace with the fact that my body, time and efforts need to be devoted to the family right now.

What a boring post with dumb stats littered throughout. But alas, thats all I have time for at this point in time!

3 Decades Old

2011-10-12T09:24:00.000-07:00

Turning 30.... sense of peace... have been running for last decade trying to get "done" with things (college, marriage, kids) and now I feel I can finally sit back and enjoy the ride.

*NOTE* These were short hand notes on what was supposed to be a birthday post. Seeing as how that was almost a month ago, Im just going to post this. You get the gist. lol.

First Week Back

2011-10-05T12:07:00.000-07:00

I'm back! So far so good. Things seem to have been handled well while I was gone (Thanks to my temp Christine who covered for me), and I feel like I'm about 50% caught up already. The pumping schedule is pretty good and I'm bringing home about 14 oz each day (Abby is only consuming 9 oz during the day with Diane.) What I'm most excited about is that she seems to be totally content to switch between nursing and the bottle, which was the problem that Aurora had. My production tanked with Aurora after I went back to work and she started preferring the bottle, so it pleases me to hope that I'll make it to a full year of breastmilk for Abby. And she is happy with Diane; either she gets worn out or more milk with the bottle or both because every day that she has been with Diane she has slept through the night until at least 5am.

I can also see the light at the end of the tunnel; Never again will I have to go through maternity leave, which means for the first time in 5 years, all of my vacation time will again be just that - for vacations!And instead of saving sick time for ML, it will continue to be banked for retirement credit. Double bonus!!! Between the tantrums, trips to the park and poopy diapers, Ryan and I are already dreaming of all the worldly trips we are going to take and planning next year's vacations. (So far the plan is for a big road/camping trip to North Cal in the next year with the girls then a backpacking trip alone to Patagonia for the following year).

Last week we got the new carpet in, and its AMAZING. So soft and plush, and it is actually really nice to have a dark color down; it really adds something to the whole house I think. That went in on Wed, and on Sunday we went to Ikea and got Aurora's bunk bed. The bottom "bunk" is on the floor, making the whole thing much shorter, so we feel comfortable with her being on the top. We also got a tent top to it which she loves, and also keeps her from jumping too high on the mattress. lol. And instead of buying a mattress for the bottom (since we don't need it yet) we just left it open as a play area for Aurora. She is sleeping just fine in it, so we seem to have timed the switch just perfectly!

Last week for my final time going to breastfeeding group Abby weighed in at 8 lbs 12 oz which is still REALLY small. It's like < 3rd percentile. But she is really happy, content and eats all the time (she's just more of a snacker; 2-3 oz every ~2 hours). What can I say, my girls are just small! :0) We have also figured out that she just needs to be held for the entire evening until about 7 pm when she is ok to be put to bed after a top off. Our evenings with her have been MUCH better since we figured that out and we just put her in one of the carriers or hold her for that time. I'm sure she was pissed at us before for not getting it; "I stop crying when you pick me up, then you put me right back down. I try to tell you and cry then you get it and pick me up so I stop, then you put me right back down again. WTF is wrong with you idiots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" lol. Well honey, we got it now, so you are good to go!

And it's fall baby! It's in the air too; today there is a 100% chance of rain. In San Diego. That's saying something. The weather is cooling down and it makes a great clean break with the summer off I had. I think if I had to go back in the middle of summer it would have been depressing but to go back right into fall sort of feels right. And Halloween will be so awesome; Ryan, I and Abby are going to be the three bears (Papa, Mama and Baby Bear) with Aurora as Goldilocks. How cute is that going to be????

The End of the Beginning

2011-09-13T13:27:00.000-07:00

Well I'm nearing the end of my maternity leave. I have this week plus two weeks left. We have decided to get our carpet replaced before I start again. With two little ones crawling around, we realize how nasty and dirty the current carpet is - we probably should have gotten new carpet after Guinness was potty trained, but once you have furniture in, its such a hassle! And we will be getting a bunk bed system for the girls soon, and it will be much easier to do the carpet before we start ADDING furniture to their room. So in preparation we have started a late summer cleaning of the whole house, but concentrating on the upstairs, where the carpet is. Man does it feel good! I didn't realize how much of my cabin fever was related to how much stuff we had accumulated and what a mess our house has become. It feels so good to go through things, organize it all and purge what we don't need. Rule of thumb; if you haven't used it or needed it in the last 2 years, GET RID OF IT. It's so liberating! And it looks soooo much better too. Let me tell you how much I'm looking forward to being done with the infant stage for good so that we can get rid of all the baby stuff!

Abby is doing great. She gained 7 oz last week and tomorrow is her 2 month appointment so we will see if she did as good this week. She has been starving all the time and feeding really well so I have a feeling she gained well. I looked at Rory's chart for comparison and at 10 weeks she was 8 lbs, 12 oz - so about the same. Even being aware of how fast they grow its crazy; she's done being super tiny... my little 6 lb baby is going to be 9 lbs soon! We have introduced the bottle too in prep for me going back. At first I thought she didn't like it but I realized A. I didn't have the right bottle (I was using the standard Medela one instead of the Playtex drop ins which Rory liked), B. We weren't trying it when she was hungry, but after a feeding as a "top off", and C. Didn't realize she just takes for freaking ever to eat! Three days in a row now she has had her breakfast in a bottle and taken 1-3 oz each time, and takes up to 20 min to drink it! Rory would down a 4 oz bottle in 10 min so I just was not used to that at all. But she's still not where she should be so we will see if they give me a hard time. I've been saving all my excess milk from the morning and evening pumpings and getting 16-20 oz a day stored. So every day I pump is a day's worth of milk for later. I got really worried when the crazy So Cal blackout happened last Thursday that I would have to throw out the milk I already had frozen but during the 12 hour shortage it didn't appear that any of the milk started to thaw out so I think it should be fine.

Abby's eyes are still a deep dark sapphire - at least for now. Ryan's baby book reports that his eyes turned brown at 3 months so we should find out soon enough! Her skin is definitely darkening up, that's for sure. And the hair is just as thick and dark. My little Ryan baby!

She is still on the same sleep schedule. We are putting her to bed earlier (like 7) because she gets really cranky if you don't put her down early. Then she wakes up about 1am, 3am and 6am for feedings. She is wide awake after the 6am feeding and really happy, until the 9am feeding, then likes to go down for a morning nap until the next feeding. We have figured out too (after MANY fussy nights) that she likes sleeping in her carseat best! Go figure. She didn't like the bassinet that we used for Rory, and while she likes the cradle swing we got her recently during the day and for awake time, she doesn't really like to sleep in it. But she always sleeps really well day or night in her carseat. So carseat it is!

Rory is such a good girl and I'm enjoying her so much. She's just a beautiful person, inside and out already. I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful person in my family. :0) She's sweet, helpful, thoughtful and intuitive. I swear she is going to go into some kind of care taking profession (nurse, doctor, vet, teacher...) She is talking so much too! Her words are adorable - no one can understand them but us but it's still so stinking cute. Yogurt is "oh-grit". Thanks is "sanks". She tells daddy and I to "calm down" and holds out her hand to exemplify. She tells Guinness "no barking, Guinness!". The other day I finished my bottle of prenatals, and asked her to throw the empty one in the recycling bin. She did so, but then went and got a new bottle of vitamins and gave it to me. I was stunned! Then today she was playing in the sand at the Cross's and she found a bottle cap and showed it to me. I showed her where the bottle cap bucket was, and told her if she found any more to put them there too. I opened a water bottle and set down the cap. I turned around a minute later and the cap was gone - Rory had taken it and put it in the bucket! lol. She takes initiative for sure.

I haven't been able to find too much time to do more than take the girls on walks, and so some planking here and there. It is helping a little though; my stomach muscles are less than a finger width apart now, and my weight is slowly creeping back down to that 140 norm range. I'm hovering around 146 right now. I'm dreading trying on all my work clothes to see which ones fit and which don't.

Ryan's birthday is this week; 31, old man. And my big 30 is next month. Holey cow! When did I get so old? Oh yeah, since I went to college, married Ryan, and had kids. I guess when you think back a lot HAS happened in the last decade for me.

Falling Into a Groove

2011-09-02T13:24:00.000-07:00

Well Abby will be 2 months old next week and I can say that I am finally getting a routine down and *sometimes* feel in control and on top of things. First of all might I say that without a housekeeper I would be going absolutely bonkers and living in filth. Best $160 a month I've ever spent and Ill do anything to make sure we have enough money to keep this service.

That being said, the normal routine is getting up in the morning, feeding Abby, settling her down for her morning nap, getting Aurora up with her bottle and settling in front of KPBS for Curious George, Cat in the Hat, Super Why, Dinosaur Train (depending on what time we get up and how long it takes me to get breakfast ready and pack stuff up for the day). Then we eat, get dressed and go out for the morning activity. By then its between 9-10am. Our morning activity (some errand or the park) lasts until about noon, when it is time to head back home to get Rory in her bath before going down for her nap. Then while (hopefully) both girls are down for naps I can get some stuff done (like blogging). Otherwise Im trying to settle Abby if she's fussy for the entirety of Rory's nap. After Rory wakes up its time to check the mail, take Guinness for a walk and start dinner for when Ryan comes home. We eat dinner when he gets home, play with the girls, then start the bed time routine and have Rory and Abby in bed by (a goal of) 8pm so that Ryan and I can have a few hours to ourselves to watch (a goal of) 2 episodes of our new fav show, Battlestar Galactica before going to bed around 10pm. The next day, wake up and repeat. How the heck does the entire day go so fast???? I feel like I live for those few hours alone with Ryan to just sit back, relax and zone out (or rather in) to another world.

I have to say having two, especially this close together is HARD. Its overwhelming at times. Sometimes I think I will loose my mind. Then there are the times when both girls are happy, their needs are met, the house is not an absolute mess, I'm mostly caught up on chores, and I can just sit back, relax and enjoy my beautiful daughters... Abby starting to smile and look around as her eyesight improves, Rory in her joyous innocence, with such a sweet love of her sister and the fascinating world she explores. Those moments are priceless and enough to bring me to tears, and the tough times are TOTALLY worth it all. When its hard, I just have to remind myself to stop, breathe through it, and remember that this too, shall pass... and take things one step at a time.

I only have a month left before going back to work on Oct 3rd. So Im just going to try to enjoy it, because although Im craving my own time back now, I know Ill miss my time alone with the girls once it is gone.

Ive been going to Sharp's breastfeeding group which is amazing. Nicole introduced me to it last round of kids and Ive been going now that I have Abby too. Shes not gaining enough, and I really need to figure out how to get more into this child! At a good feeding she will take in about 3 oz at a time (other babies at this point are up to 4 oz or more). Which isnt totally abnormal, especially considering thats about the most Rory ever took in either at this age. But sometimes I dont get a good feeding in and she doesnt get that much. Shes only waking up twice a night; once at about 1am and then again at like 5 or 6 am. She gained 1 oz the first week I went to the group, then I spent a lot of time concentrating on getting good feedings in and she did much better at 4 oz the second week but then this last time she only gained 2 oz. So shes 7 lbs 12 oz now at 7 weeks old. Im going to start sleep feeding her an ounce with a bottle at night before we go to bed, and maybe introduce a bottle a day to start getting her ready for me going back to work and hopefully she will get a little more than she takes in through nursing with this new plan too. Cause they are going to read me the riot act if she is not up more than this at her 2 month apt in two weeks.

My mom's shoulder surgery seems to have gone well and now its all about healing and eventually we will see what kind of good the surgery was able to do. Everyone is getting surgery; just found out Ryan's Uncle Chuck is having a hip replaced. Do we really just fall apart so easily once we get over 50 years old??? Reminder to me to take good care of my body now so that it can serve me better later on.

Ooop, Abby is up! LOL. That didnt last long. At least I got to enjoy my bloody mary and get in a blog post! More later.

Slew of Updates

2011-08-09T10:51:00.000-07:00

Well it is hard for me to believe but here I am with Abby a month old and it feels like it was just yesterday... but then I realize how much has happened since she has been born! It is definitely overwhelming to have two kids. I knew it would be hard, but man, it's nuts!!! The hardest thing is just not being able to get anything done. One is cake. You can take care of their needs then get some stuff done around that. But throw another kid in the mix and as soon as you take care of one kid the other one needs something else. This makes it impossible to get anything done, including showering, eating, etc. Getting out of the house takes an act of God, since you have to get thee kids stuff ready, plus yourself and somehow keep them tended to until you do all that and get out the door. I've already locked myself out of the car once (with Abby in it). Taking half the $300 a month we are saving on not having an extra car and putting it towards having our housekeeper come every other week is the best decision we have made! I have come to terms with the fact that things are just going to be nutzoid for the next year or so, and I have to take it one step at a time and just breathe. Thank God for Ryan, who I miss every second of every day that I am not with him. He's my partner in all this, and the only one who can really share all the intricacies of our family dynamic. I would be lost without him for sure. PS no way in hell we are having more. lol. I couldn't hang with being outnumbered. At least with two you can tag team; one for each of you. That works out well.

Things are going well though. Abby LOVES the boob. We have tried a bottle a few times and she's not really a fan. Might have a tough time when I go back to work if she doesn't grow accustomed to it, at least once in a while. She's a gourmet nurser too; if I'm too full she gets upset. She likes to savor her meals and really take her time. Which is great for my production. The more she nurses the more my production will keep up. As it is I'm pumping about 15 oz extra milk a day. Pumping right before bed after last feeding. Then she is getting up for a 1 am feeding and then again at about 5 am. I feed out of the same breast for those two, because if I alternated the 5 am boob would be too full for her. So then I pump in the morning after I get up at the 7 am feeding. Sometimes other pumpings in between if I get too full. Going to start freezing soon. I think I'm going to stick with freezing in 1 oz ice cubes then foodsaver a few trays at a time. I honestly don't think I'll make it past 6 months pumping (which will be 3 months back at work) so the more I can stock up on the better. I tried to give my extra milk to Aurora, so we could stop buying organic whole milk at $6 a gallon but she wasn't having it. I don't blame her. While it's sweet, it is not as creamy as whole cow's milk and it has a sort of soapy, irony flavor... besides all the other flavors that vary based on what I eat.

As mentioned above Abby is pretty much sleeping through mos of the night. From week one she pretty much had the 9pm, 1am, 5am night time feeding schedule. She is a little fussy sometimes to try to get back to sleep after the 1am one, but since I stopped changing her diaper at that one, which gets her really pissed off, she's going much easier. And after the 5am one I just bring her to bed with me and let her sleep on my chest cause I just can't resist the cuddling! I was waking her up every two hours during the day to eat in the beginning, but now I've moved to every 3 hours since she wasn't getting hungry enough to have a really good feeding anymore at 2 hours. She was back up to birth weight at a week old but I have no idea what she is now. Hopefully I can make it to the breastfeeding group one of these days to see how she is doing since she doesn't have another apt with the doctor for another month.

In addition to the angel kisses on her eyelids, I noticed some really big stork bites on the back of her neck and her head. Her dark ass hair was totally hiding them! We will see if her eyes turn brown - they have not done so yet! Although in some light they look brownish by the pupils to me. Her skin is for sure the dark skin though. She's not a big spit up baby which is nice. Or is that still coming? I admit it is really hard to remember all the stages from last time and I just don't have the time or effort to look everything up and be on top of it like with Rory. (I have no idea what the next milestone is and have no care about whether Abby is hitting it or not. lol. Is that wrong???)

Of other general updates in our lives. Blake and Alyssa's wedding in Vegas at Treasure Island was this weekend. It was so much fun and really nice. It was a small group - mostly close friends and family, about 65 people, which I think was perfect! We left Rory at home with my mom, which was perfect. There were for sure times when I missed her and would have liked to have her there, but so many others where I just would have been so overwhelmed. (Both Ryan and I were in the wedding ourselves so it was enough just to have an infant.) I got to have enough of my own fun, and only in Vegas can you party and take your kid with you most places. lol. And bonus cookies, I actually fit in my bridesmaid's dress. The main casualty was Ryan breaking out in full body hives (this is the second time this has happened to him) and having to pop 3 benedryl to stop the reaction. Guess we need to start carrying the epi-pen with us on travel too! Alyssa made a beautiful bride and is finally and officially a Cross woman!

On sad news, my mom has to get surgery on her shoulder. After months of physical therapy for an injury she sustained while playing with a horse, and plateauing with any further recovery, they finally referred her to ortho. He took one look at her and told her she had a ruptured rotator cuff, and needed an MRI and surgery to repair. Her MRI is today and the surgery is scheduled for later this month. This coupled with the crap her and Wayne are having to deal with in Oceanside is no bueno for them! (There was a fire a while back at one of the rental units in Oceanside and since the structures were built so long ago they are not up to date with permits and such, so its going to be a lot of time, work and money to get everything up to code and fixed). I feel terrible since she has helped us out SOOOOOO much with everything since Rory has been born, and I'm not really at a place right now were I can give back, although I would love to. (It would be so great to be able to have her stay with us during her surgery and nurse her back to health, and offer my time and labor with Oceanside - obviously not possible with me barely keeping my own household together and going back to work in less than 2 months.) So all I can do is offer her moral support and love and send happy thoughts her way for a positive outcome on everything. I do take comfort in knowing how much she loves the girls and the time she spends with us.

Well I have spent enough time on this post and I know there is more but my brain is fried and I have to go do the dishes and get something else accomplished for the day besides one blog post!

Abigail's Birth Story

2011-07-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

Well here I am two weeks after Abigail was born (to the day in fact) finally getting my birth story done. Things are much crazier with a toddler already running around the house. But that's not what this post is about...

I had just about given up on Abby coming early. I had thought there was a decent chance she would come up to 3 weeks early and thought for sure she could come 2 weeks early, based on the changes I noted in my body. My last week of work was uncomfortable to say the least. My heartburn was awful, I had been getting some back labor-pains for a week or so, and the Braxton Hicks were painful. Abby had been sitting VERY low in my pelvis for pretty much the whole 3rd trimester and kept creeping down further. But 37 weeks came and went. My final day at work came and went. That weekend, and all the things we had planned came and went. (Faux of July party at Nicole's, Ryan's beer competition at the fair, and of course 4th of July at Randy's). Still no baby. So I waited out that 38th week, my first week off work, just hanging with Aurora and enjoying my last time with just her. Still no baby. So at the start of that next weekend nearing my 39th week, I was resigned to the possibility that this baby could be 2 weeks late if she so chose!

Saturday, July 9th my boss and his wife had a Paella Party at their house.The food was great, and I ate way more than I should have. I had been sleeping the first part of the night on the couch due to my heartburn, then moving back upstairs to the bed around 2 or 3am once my stomach was settled and totally digested. So I was generally eating small meals in the afternoon, and not much for dinner at all. But this night I said screw it, I'm going to enjoy myself and eat to my heart's content. I especially enjoyed the TWO pieces of cheesecake I had for dessert. lol.

That night I started the night out on the couch. I woke up earlier in the morning to head upstairs than usual; around 1:30 am. I got into bed and couldn't quite get comfortable. After tossing and turning for about 30 min (unusual for me, even in pregnancy to not be able to get to sleep right away), shortly after 2 am on 7/10, I suddenly felt my water break. It wasn't a full on gush like it was with Aurora - it was just enough to soak my pantyliner and my underwear - but there was no doubt what it was. Game time.

I reached over and woke Ryan up - "Ryan; this is it, my water just broke - time to get up." His reaction was a repeat of when I told him we were pregnant. "Oh shit". Since I defied statistics once again as the 15% of the population whose water breaks before labor starts, I knew that while the second labor was likely to go faster, we still had some time since I wasn't in labor yet. I went to the bathroom, and took a shower while instructing Ryan on who to call and text. We called my mom so her and Wayne could come over. Wayne would stay at the house so we didn't have to wake Aurora up, and then in the morning take her to Harb. My mom would come with us to the hospital. Then I texted the other people who wanted to be a part of this experience; Meg, Nicole, Kimmy and of course Cheryl.

A little while later, I was showered, my mom and Wayne had arrived and we had packed the last min items for the hospital. I was still not having regular contractions, although they were happening (Like 5-10 min apart and about 50 seconds long). I was planning on waiting until they got a little bit more regular, but Ryan was fritzing out and wanted to know exactly when we were going to be going to the hospital. I told him I didn't know, it depended on how quickly things progressed. He was very uncomfortable with that and it was clear that we should just go and get checked in and everyone (Ryan) would be more at ease. I made him make a thermos of his good coffee (knowing he would appreciate it later on even though at the time it was the furthest thing from his mind). And just after 4am we took off!

We met up with Kimmy in the lobby, and then checked in upstairs. They took me into an exam room, to ask me the basics, and to confirm that my water had broken. Of all chances, my midwife was working the Birth Center. She told me that they were having staffing issues; basically they didn't have a nurse to assign to me, even though they had a room. They had one women in active labor who they hoped would deliver soon, and if so they could give me her nurse. But after a good hour in the exam room and still nothing, they decided to start me down in L&D, where they could at least give me an RN and a room. They hoped that soon things would free up in the BC, and they could move me back up. So down to L&D. There Nicole met up with us (she was a little freaked out at first when they told her I was in L&D - she thought, why is she there???). The nurse there asked if I wanted to go ahead and get a Hep Lock IV (last time I got one and they used it to give me my pain meds, and then pitocin after I delivered) and I said yes. After hanging out there for a few hours, finally around 7 am we got word that the woman up in the BC decided to get an epidural, so that left the room and the RN free for me to come up from L&D! It took them a while to clean the room and get it ready for me, but finally I got into my room, which happened to be the same room that I delivered Aurora in 2 years previous! My midwife, Rebecca had finished her shift and Beth, another of the midwives was on. She was super sweet and I was pretty sure she had worked with me at some point during the last pregnancy.

Everyone else started to arrive throughout the morning (Cheryl, Meg & Justin, Melinda & Nathan, Alyssa & Keira). Not too much happened over the next several hours. The contractions stayed painful but not too serious, and stayed between 2-10 min apart and not more than a min long. As the morning wore on I started to feel discouraged; things were not picking up! I didn't want another 24 hour experience - the second labor was supposed to go quicker! The nurse suggested that I pace the halls a little, so Ryan took me outside and we paced around the BC square. Things really started picking up while doing that and within 30 min of walking, my contractions got up to less than 5 min apart and were lasting up to a min and a half. I went back into the room, and they started slowing down! Clearly the walking was helping and hanging out in the room was not; so Nicole, Meg and Kimmy took a turn with me pacing the halls. It was funny - I had my own labor entourage! One of them was keeping track of my contractions, another giving me sips of water after every contraction and the other giving my spine counter pressure during the contractions. (Kimmy had been giving me massage and it was still pretty painful so at some point the midwife came in and showed us how to apply upward counter pressure on the bottom of my spine. She explained that the baby sitting low and coming down the birth canal was putting a lot of pressure on my spine and the counter pressure pushed the baby's head back and provided a lot of relief).

I knew I wanted to try the water tub this time, since I didn't get to last time, and I let the staff know that right away since I knew it takes a while to get it all set up. They started to get stuff ready (put in the order, fill the tub, etc.) but since it would be a while and things were getting more intense I decided to take a shower sometime around 1 pm. Ryan came in with me to keep track of the contractions and for a while I labored in the shower. It was really great last time and was just as good this time. Squatting through the contractions helped, and while in the shower I started to get the beginning urges to push, so I knew things were finally picking up!

I got out of the shower after about 30 min and I wanted the tub so bad. Apparently they were quickly working to get the authorization and get my midwife in to get me checked before going into the tub while also trying to get the temp just perfect for me but to me it was all taking forever and my perception was that it was going to be like another hour before they let me in the tub, so at some point I asked for pain meds. (I can't remember exactly when this was). The nurse looked at me and said, "I would highly caution against that" since she could tell how far along I was coming and knew I would have the tub soon. And I said ok, like a little kid who has asked for candy that they know they won't be allowed to have. At about 1:15 pm they checked me and I was minus 2, 5 cm dilated, which they said was the perfect timing for me to get into the tub. (They don't want to put you in too soon, because it can slow down labor if you aren't far enough along in labor). I was in the tub by 1:30 and I was a HAPPY CAMPER! I dont know how on earth a tub can make that much difference, but let me tell you it did, and there is a reason they call it the birth center's epidural!!! It took all the pressure off, and the heat felt so good and it was just so relaxing through those painful contractions. I was only in there for about 30 min and I started to get such strong urges to push I couldn't control them anymore. I told them I had to push and was time to get out, so I got out and they checked me again.

Her head was there and I was fully dilated so it was go time! Obviously the tub really did the trick, and besides being an awesome tool for relieving my pain, it also sped along my labor. I got in the side laying position again, with Cheryl holding my right leg up, and I started going for it. I only had to push about 4 times and I had her out. She came out much slower than Aurora did. Her head came out with the first few pushes then another push got to her shoulders and then the rest of her. At 2:19 pm on 7/10/11 Abigail Rose Cross was born.

She had the same sucking blisters on both of her hands that Aurora had, and that my mom says I had too. She was wanting to suck as soon as she came out, but while they were stitching me (I did end up with some minor 2nd degree tearing; two stitches inside and a few outside, all pretty superficial) it was an awkward position on my chest, so she sucked around my boob but didn't get a great latch until a little while later when I got propped up on the bed. She was born with a full head of dark hair, and was super bright pink. This was the dark baby who looked just like Ryan that I had dreams of before I even had Aurora! Kimmy got to cut the cord, and she was ecstatic. I was so happy to have gotten through it all, and in good timing too! 12 hours from my water breaking I had my beautiful baby Abby.

Abigail Rose Cross

Born 7/10/11 2:19 pm

6 lbs 7 oz

18.25 inches

Labor is Eminent, Resistance is Futile.

2011-07-02T04:16:00.000-07:00

This baby is coming soon. Seriously. Its really very interesting to go through it the second time around and see what the differences are.

Last time I had increased discharge the week before, and then the evening before I felt Aurora drop, and she was moving around like crazy very low in my pelvis. I also got the crazy nesting and went into a cleaning frenzy. Then the morning of I had pink discharge then my water broke at lunch that day. I was getting Braxton Hicks for a few months too.

This time, same deal with the Braxton Hicks, but last weekend and again last night I had an hour stint where they were over a min long and only a few min apart. Increased discharge has been the same too. But I have been carrying Abby much lower the whole pregnancy than Aurora, and she's inherently way more active than Aurora was. However, the last few days she has been twisting and turning deep in my pelvis more than before. The last few days I have been exhausted and have not had the energy for too much of any cleaning even though the house has needed some tidying. Then suddenly last night I couldn't stand it and had to clean up. I also had a sudden bathroom run in the middle of the day yesterday, another sign. And anyone who knows my bowel schedule knows its normally a first thing in the morning, on a schedule, and takes a long time. So all in all its pretty clear that things are getting close here, and my guess is sometime this weekend.

Which is fun, and right on track with my guess for another holiday baby (4th of July) but also sort of sad because we have such fun plans for the weekend; Faux 4th at Nicole's tomorrow, Sunday at the Del Mar Fair and Ryan submitting his home brews, and the 4th at Randy's. I guess having to choose between the two (having a baby or fun events) could be a much worse choice though!

Switching gears, Aurora got her first big girl ouchies! On Monday, Ryan was at the chiropractor then getting fitted for his tux for Blake & Alyssa's wedding and I was home with Aurora waiting for him to be done to pick him up. We were outside on the patio after some water play and she was fighting with me on the couch trying to put on her own diaper. She lost her balance and fell backward off the couch, and smacked her head flat on the brick flooring. I picked her up right away, consoling her, patting her head and back, knowing that she was going to be upset and would have a bump on her head.... then I noticed there was blood. "Oh no, where is the blood coming from?" I thought. Then I saw that her beautiful white-blonde hair was soaked with a circle of blood in the back. I started to really freak out, but then I was able to locate the laceration and see that it wasn't bleeding anymore. It was about an inch long and looked pretty deep, so I knew it would probably need stitches. But with Ryan not being home, not really knowing what to do (or where to take her?) I called Cheryl and she came over right away. She agreed that it would need stitches and suggested I call the Dr. and ask where to take her. So I called the UCSD Pediatrics office, and they put in a message to have the Dr. on call call me. While I was waiting for that call, Cheryl went to go pick Ryan up. The Dr. called back and said to take her to urgent care, and they would do staples, not stitches because it was on the scalp. I called them and they said to take her to the Children's ER, as they didnt have the facilities to do staples there. So by then Cheryl had Ryan back and we jumped in the car and headed to Children's.

They checked us in pretty much right away, and had us hold a cotton ball with lidocain and some other stuff on her laceration for about 20 min, then they came in, pumped the gurney up to chest level, had her lay on her tummy head to the side facing Ryan and I, and they stapled her up, "cha-chink, cha-chink, cha-chink". 5 staples later, Rory was all Frankensteined up and ready to go. She didn't blink an eye, bat an eyelash or whimper a single peep the entire time. What a trooper. She was very excited to get an orange popsicle afterward. They gave us a staple remover to take to the Dr. with us for her check up and told us to make an apt on Friday with her regular Dr. to see if they were ready to be removed.

Ryan took her in yesterday and they were. He said that she was just as good with them being removed as she was when they were put in. No getting her head wet for 48 hours though. Which means we have to be really careful in the pool at Nicole's, or not go in the pool at all. At least she will be free and clear by the 4th at Randy's. So that was our little ordeal with her. And as a last note on that, how funny is it that of all the boys (esp Brayden,) Aurora, little miss girlie girl, was the first one to have a major boo-boo needing stitches or staples????

36 Weeks and Counting

2011-06-24T13:18:00.000-07:00

Tuesday was 36 weeks. Today is Friday, and next week is my last week of work! This baby is certainly preparing for birth. Shes been extremely active (more than normal, if I would have believed that to be possible), moving a little lower too, and Ive been getting some back laborish type pains and some cramping. I have also been exhausted and have been trying to get naps in every day. My heartburn and reflux has been TERRIBLE. Im already taking max dose of my Zantac, and on top of that have to take up to 10 tums a day. That's just the meds. The usual food triggers are off, and I have to be especially diligent in the afternoons and evenings. No spicy food, no fatty food, (pretty much stick to complex carbs and veggies) have to eat small amounts, make sure to chew thoroughly and slowly, and I can't eat too late in the afternoon. Also no large amounts of fluids with eating. Then of course Im sleeping with my wedge pillow too. So ALL that stuff has to be perfect and spot on and then I have an ok night... if I mess up ONE of those things, then suddenly I have a night from hell with super bad heartburn all night, my stomach contents coming up on me, I choke on them or a few times its been so bad I throw up even.

Its a great way to diet though! lol. I havent gained any weight for the last 4 weeks or so. I'm holding steady at 170 lbs, which is 25 lbs in this pregnancy. I did start this pregnancy 5 lbs heavier than last time though. But I also ended up at 175 with the last pregnancy. So all in all I have gained less and am topping out at a lower weight.

I have been trying to take it easy since I can tell I need to (dont want to push things here - Abby still isnt full term until Tuesday) and its really hard for me to just sit back and let things go or ask Ryan to do them instead. And its hard not to do as much with Rory - she doesn't quite understand that I cant pick her up and play with her as much because I'm physically limited.

Things are in pretty good order - the house is clean, we've cleaned all the newborn clothes, mostly packed the hospital bag (except for the last min items that we use every day around the house anyway) and we have put the carseat in the car.

On Tuesday I also started using my vag-stretcher (the Epi-No). I started at about 7 cm and have gotten to 8 cm in these 3 days. Goal is to get to a little more than 10 by the time I go into labor.

Rory is just adorable these days. She has such a beautiful personality! She fills our days with laughter and joy. She is ecstatic to have a baby sister, and Abby isnt even here yet! When she does get here Rory is just going to be overcome I'm sure. She has such a maternal instinct and LOVES babies so much. I'm really looking forward to seeing her with her sister.

Her speech is also moving along so rapidly its mind boggling. Every time she communicates a 3 word sentence to you its like "really? did you just say that to me???" I keep wanting to get it on video and get more pictures of her but shes in this stage right now where she doesnt want you to take any pics/video of her. Maybe after Abby is here she'll be ok with it again.

Anyway, thats about it for us. Im SUPER stoked - tomorrow I have my maternity shoot with my friend Becky Hill. I first met her when we went to the same baby prep class last time around and she does photography now. Stay posted!

Stick a Fork in Me... I'm Done.

2011-06-06T13:16:00.001-07:00

However, the baby is not, so I must endure for another 3-6 weeks (or longer if Abby has a sick sense of humor.)

So this last week I finally got to THAT point. You know, the one were you get so uncomfortable that no position doesn't hurt or strain something. The one where if you get a 3 hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep (due to the baby on the bladder or the cheeseburger you ate at 3pm that still has not digested yet) each night you thank your lucky stars. The one where you know that the baby still needs some baking time in the oven, but you really just don't care and would give your right arm to get that kid out. It came on pretty suddenly. I was feeling "pretty good" until last week. I guess Abby went through a little growth spurt because I can't breathe, am getting rib aches, and don't even get me started on my reflux. Suffice to say that besides my two times a day Zantac, I'm supplementing with up to 10 tums a day, and after a few really bad nights of reflux, will from here on out need to be done eating dinner by ~5pm, and stick to low-fat, non-spicy, basic foods that dont take a long time to digest. At least its just for the next month or two... TILL I GET THIS KID OUTTA ME!!!! lol

I've also hit the upper end of my weight. Im up to ~170 now and I would like to stay there, but for sure not go any higher than the ~175 between now and when I deliver. No reason for me to go over what I gained in my last pregnancy, especially since I didn't make my goal of gaining less than the first time.

Tomorrow I'll be 34 weeks pregnant, and I really don't think that I'll go late. In fact I think there is a chance Abby might come earlier than Aurora did, but we will see what she decides. (Based on my body and the last time, Im guessing she'll come 2-3 weeks early). My temp at work started today and she's really sweet. I think the office will be in good hands while I am gone.

Memorial Day weekend was really great. We did a good job of planning and packing, and had a great time. Sat night it rained on us and didn't clear up so well, so we decided to head back into Fresno and spend that last night with the Schott's which was the best thing ever! As Ryan said when Laura and I proposed it to him and Marshall, "what's the downside here?" We got out of the rain and weather, got showers, the kids got to run around and play, we already had our food ready to go from camping, and Ryan got to see Marshall's home brew set up. With the car already packed up we were able to get on the road early and get a great head start and got home to SD by 1:30pm on Monday. Then Cheryl picked Aurora up to go up to the Cross's leaving Ryan and I some free time alone to unpack and get everything cleaned up!

Lucky too, because on Tuesday we had a stroke of really bad luck - Some old lady thought she had a green and turned RIGHT IN FRONT of Ryan who was going straight down Clairemont Mesa Blvd at Ruffin on his way home. He didn't even have time to react and T-boned her at ~40mph. Both cars un-drivable and she was taken away in an ambulance for minor injures. Ryan was ok but I made him go in to get checked out that night (xrays came back fine) and he's just really sore now. So we are down to one car until we get this whole thing figured out. We are pretty sure they will find she was totally at fault, as he had the green light, and it was still green when he got out of the car at the scene, and he has a few witnesses who saw the whole thing, and the police came out and did a report, but you never know! So NOT what we need right now with everything else going on!

Aurora has been a pain in the ass lately too. Sooo opinionated and stubborn. Im hoping it has to do with her schedule - we have had so much going on (Memorial Day Weekend, the accident, events for Blake & Alyssa's wedding) that her schedule has been thrown off, so hopefully its just related to that and once we get back on track it will be better. Im also hoping that she will enjoy the time off with mom and the new baby and not be upset and have jealousy issues. But we will have to see how that goes too...

32 Weeks... and Feeling Every Pound!

2011-05-25T10:42:00.001-07:00

I'm now 32 weeks pregnant. The end is near. If Abby is as early as Rory was, I have only 6 weeks left! Thats NOTHING! Its actually a little scary and bitter-sweet. I know this is it for me; the last time I will be pregnant, the last time I will go through all the wonderful and annoying things about being pregnant. So I'm just trying to sit back look past the discomforts and just enjoy this last time of growing my own flesh and blood.

That being said, boy things are getting uncomfortable! I have to say I think it is not as bad as last time. Abby is carrying lower, so I'm not having as much trouble breathing, not as much rib aches, and the heartburn is not as bad (although this time I didn't hesitate to moderate with medicine and at this stage I need my Zantac AND Tums to get me through the day, and I got the wedge pillow right away when I was having reflux issues at night. So I think the heartburn is just being managed better this time around, not necessarily that its not as bad). Where was I? Oh yeah, and my skin doesn't itch as much this time since its already been stretched. (Well my boobs are always swollen and a little itchy, but my stomach isn't.) Wait, I have not talked about my boobs yet have I? Ok my boobs are OUT OF CONTROL. They are huge, and my areolas are like the size of saucers. None of my lingerie fits them anymore. I'm sure my regular bras would not fit anymore. I wouldn't know since I stopped wearing real bras (I've been on sports bras for months now). Ok I got off track again. Which is very typical of me now days. Seriously, my brain does not work right and I loose my thoughts and forget stuff all the time and say dumb things and can't remember simple words. Ryan says, "great now you know what its like to be me, so remember this the next time you get mad at me for losing something or forgetting something." Ok off track again. I started here talking about symptoms. So in general I think I'm less uncomfortable than last time. Also no leg cramps (double YAY). This week has been a good weight week; have not gained any more weight which is good considering I'm already at my top goal weight, and we have our Memorial Day weekend camping trip this weekend.

Speaking of which, IM SO STOKED!!! We have been prepping since last weekend; shopping, household chores, finalizing our packing list, planning out the menu, conversing with our camping buddies. I'm looking forward to the warm weather, the lounging around doing nothing, and letting Aurora run amuck with Hazel and just get dirty and be a KID! I'm sure I'll gain at least 5 lbs this weekend. lol. We have also invested in a roof rack for the Mazda, so that should help alleviate the space issues we had last year.

Updates Galore

2011-05-09T11:52:00.000-07:00

This week I got to the 30 week mark. I don't know what it is about the 30th week but it feels like such a huge milestone! Although I still have two very long, uncomfortable months ahead of me, for some reason I feel like its just around the corner. I am definitely feeling more uncomfortable in general. I am NOT feeling "pretty good" anymore on a regular basis. Its more like "eh, hanging in there - especially considering I know its just going to get worse until I deliver!" lol. I've gained 20lbs so far, and we will see how much I gain additionally. I really hope I don't gain more than another 10. We shall see. I'm having more trouble breathing (so I'm coughing all the time cause I can't take a deep breath) and I was getting really bad night reflux, so Ryan got a wedge pillow for me. It is working out wonderfully, and I haven't had any reflux since I started sleeping with it.

Cheryl brought back my Epi-No from her latest trip across the pond to England. I was really excited to get it. I took it for a test run (much to the horror of Ryan who had to endure the process as we were going to bed one evening.) I was surprised to find out that my pelvic floor muscles actually have really good tone (must be all that awesome sex we have been having). I also tried out the balloon feature, which you are not supposed to do the actual daily stretching exercises until a few weeks before expected delivery, so I just did it the once to see how far up I could get and I got to 6cm, which I think is a great start! But it also makes me really excited to get to work those last few weeks with stretching my perineum since I clearly have some work to do (only about half way there).

I got my blood results back from a few weeks ago. My 1 hour glucose results were awesome! I got a 75 which I now know (thanks to my dear friend Alyssa) is practically a fasting level. However, my iron level was 11.4; still anemic. :0( So that means more iron pills and iron rich food for me. I guess my body just runs slightly anemic (Ive been anemic at a number of times in my life starting in high school), and I just need to adjust with my diet and supplements!

I had another "urgent care" experience last week too. Late on Sunday night, I woke up at 11pm, (yes woke up - Hey I go to bed early now days!!!!) and had really bad stomach pain and cramping. It continued on and off all night and when I woke up it still had not gone away, so I called and spoke with the Midwife on call, who recommended I come in just to make sure everything was ok even though it didn't sound like anything in particular. After an NST, running a urine sample, checking my discharge under a microscope and checking me out, I was not having contractions, urine sample came back normal, didn't have an infection, wasn't dilated and wasn't effaced. We decided that Abby is just EXTREMELY active, in sort of a strange sideways position and that is probably exacerbating the braxton hicks.

At my Midwife appointment with Rebecca on Wednesday we also talked about birth control after I deliver. She gave me a bunch of info to look over. Ryan and I had originally talked about getting him snipped after we had Abby, because we for sure are done, but then I started thinking, what if? I know we don't want anymore kids right now, but I can't say with 100% certainty what will happen with our family in the next 10 years while I would still be of child bearing years... So why make a permanent decision now; why not wait until we are 40 yrs old and for sure not going to be making any changes to our family? I don't even want to talk about or mention the what ifs, I'm sure you can imagine what they would be. Anyway, so Rebecca suggested an IUD. I have always had this pre-conceived notion that an IUD is a barbaric form of birth control but after looking into it a little more, I think I'm actually going to try it out. Paragard is hormone free, which is something I will need for up to a year after Abby is born since Ill be breastfeeding and/or pumping. (Last time I tried the mini pill and it affected my milk production so I'll need a hormone free bc option). I also don't want to have to mess with anything daily or weekly, so condoms, diaphragms, foam, etc are all out. If it ends up working out you can leave it in for 10 years which is exactly the time frame we would be considering a permanent option, and is very cost effective as you just have the one time up front cost. I have heard terrible second hand stories from people about IUD's but honestly, what birth control method has anyone ever heard of that DOESNT have negative experiences from someone somewhere? I think Ill try it out and see if it works out for me. If not, then Ill look into something else.

Mother's day weekend was quite lovely. Ryan (and Rory) got me flowers, a new pair of Reefs and made a super sweet handmade card with pictures of me and Rory all over it to keep at work to remind me of them. He did so good! We got Thai take out on Sat for lunch (Sooo yummy and I was craving it) and then really enjoyed actual Mother's Day on Sunday at Aunt Diana's house with Cheryl's side of the family and my family too. I made a second batch of my now famous strawberry lemonade, and two versions of my cheesecake. It was undecided (split down the middle) as to whether the light, fluffy, cakey version was preferred to the dense, rich, creamy one.

In other news, Finley Bruce is here! With a whopping 10 minutes of the day to spare, Finn couldn't wait another second to come out and now will forever more share a birthday with Aurora. So funny that in our group, two sets of kids already share a birthday. Luke and Reese with 4-20, Rory and Finn with 5-5. And the way I'm headed Abby could be a 7-4 baby.... so our group is turning out to be a bunch of pot-smoking, margarita drinking pyro-maniacs; or so you would think based on their birthdays. LOL.

Aurora recently had her 2 yr old apt too. She weighed in at 23 lbs, and 33 inches. She didn't need any shots, and they don't need to see her until she is 3 yrs old. Her talking has really increased as of late; she repeats nearly everything you say, and is saying 2, sometimes 3 words at a time. We still have a hard time understanding her a lot but it's slowly but surely getting better. She really is the light of our lives, and makes each day somehow a challenge and the best day yet. I am really looking forward to her being a big sister and seeing her with Abby. She's so excited about the other babies (Hayley, Reese and Finn) but I can't really let her hold and touch them as much as I will with Abby. So I feel bad holding her back because I know she so desperately wants to play with them and be with them more, but they aren't my kids so she will have to wait until Abby gets here!

3rd Trimester & More

2011-04-25T09:22:00.001-07:00

Well last week was the beginning of the 3rd trimester. Tomorrow Ill be 28 weeks which means I've hit the 7 month mark! In two more weeks I'll hit the big 30 and then from there its the final countdown of the last 10 weeks of my pregnancy. (Or less if this kid comes early like Aurora did) It's pretty crazy to me that we are in the end like this. The first trimester was such a nightmare and I was so happy to be out of that and with very few symptoms in the second trimester it just flew by! And now 2 out of 4 of us in the T-town clan have delivered (Alyssa had Reese last week - more on that later) so Ash is next, anytime between now and her due date of May 11th, then me!

I had my glucose test on Friday, so hopefully I passed with flying colors. They will also be retesting my iron since the found out I had been anemic this whole time. My last midwife appointment was last Wed, and at first she asked if we were measuring her small yet, which we had not been, and after feeling around a little more we decided she was just sittin really low in my pelvis. (Didn't have to tell me that - I've been having to pee ALL the time cause she's always on it, and I've had a ton of lower back/tail bone pain the last several weeks. Plus I have not had nearly as much trouble breathing and rib aches and pains as I did with Aurora). Between that and the braxton hicks I've already been getting for the last several weeks, I think this baby might be coming early too. Heck I don't care when she comes, as long as she's ready and done cooking. I AM hoping for a quick labor though! Aurora was ~12 after my water broke to get active labor really going, then was a full ~12 hours of active labor until I finally got her out. Have I talked yet about the Epi-No I got and am going to use? I don't think so. Ok so here goes.

With Aurora I knew that tearing would be an issue (I'm sure everyone is over my "I have small orifices" speech.) so I spoke with Rita at length about how to control tearing in labor ect. One of the things she had suggested and had heard good things about was the Epi-No, which they have in Australia and England. Basically its a vaginal balloon that you start using a few weeks before your due date and slowly increase the inflation size to stretch your perineum, so that during labor you are less likely to tear. Well by the time she had heard of it and we talked about it I was already like 8 or 9 months pregnant, and its not available for shipping in the US anyway. (I'm sure some kind of regulations about it being a "medical device" or something). We did everything we could, but as most of you know, I still got a 2nd degree tear even though Aurora was only 6lbs. So this time I went to all these crazy lengths including bribing family members across the pond to purchase the Epi-No for me and another family member to bring it back from there to get it. So I'll let you know how that goes. I promise no pics. Anyway if you are interested, here is the info: http://www.avoidepisiotomy.com/

So my weight has been kinda crazy. I've made up for every pound I wasn't gaining in the beginning. I've now gained 16 lbs from my start weight (21 from my lowest weight). On average I have been gaining 2 lbs a week, and I cant seem to eat enough food, EVER. I'm completely insatiable. I'm doing my best to eat healthy things and make sure I get enough fresh fruits and veggies, whole grains and dairy... but I can't stay away from yummy desserts and treats! Funny thing is although my goal was to gain less this time by about 10lbs, so far I'm 8 lbs over target, which is actually within one or two pounds of exactly where I was this same time with Aurora's pregnancy (even though I started 5lbs heavier with this pregnancy). So I'm still trying to be good but for the most part am resigned to the fact that I just carry babies this way and this is how much my body likes to gain when pregnant. Hey, after all, this is my last pregnancy, so why not live a little and not obsess about the food so much? I would be worried if I was outside of the recommended weight gain, but I'm totally right in there, so bring on the food!!!

I've decided on my maternity leave plans. My last day of work is going to be Friday, July 1st. Monday is the 4th of July and is a holiday, and Tuesday the 5th would be 2 weeks before the due date, so I'll actually get to start my leave early by taking that holiday weekend as the start of my leave. Besides, how hard would it be to go through that weekend then have to come back to work for one more week? Then we'll see how my vacation hours end up based on when Abby comes and the disability and go from there.

So back to the T-town fertility water update. Alyssa was due today actually. But she went into labor early in the morning of the 20th. Funny since thats Luke's birthday! So we were all on pins and needles the whole day waiting to see if they would share a birthday or if they would be a day apart. For a long time Alyssa was not progressing any further than 2 cm, but finally in the (nearly) 11th hour she all of the sudden went from 3-10 and pushed out the smallest baby in her family history! Reese Lynn was only 5lbs 13oz; same size as Luke was! So in addition to them sharing a bday they were the same size at birth. She's totally beautiful and we are all so happy for Lukas and Alyssa.

Easter was this last weekend and was so wonderful! Saturday Tierrasanta had an Easter celebration at the Rec Center with an egg hunt, face painting and jumpy houses. Ashley & Dylan and Elly & Brett and us all ended up going and the kids had fun in the egg "hunt" aka free-for-all. Rory picked out a frog for her cheek, and since the jumpy house lines were too long we all went to the playground and let the kids wear themselves out. After heading home for a quick nap, we headed back out for Luke's 2nd Birthday Party at Nicole & Jason's. Tons of fun was had by all and at the end of the evening, I can't say who was more exhausted; all us adults or the kids. Sunday morning we all got together by Elly & Brett's house for our own private egg hunt, and Alyssa & Lukas came out with Reese. Again back home for a quick nap and out again for Easter at Aunt Carol & Chuck's house. It was great to see that family again; it had been like 3 months since we had seen them last! We stayed late and Aurora really started getting comfortable and opening up at the end there, and it was so nice for them to see her talking and interacting like we see every day. (In large crowds she's a little shy). This morning Aurora was NOT a happy camper and I felt her pain. It was so hard to get all of us up and going when not a single one of us wanted to do so!

Aurora sure is talking up a storm these days. I just love her personality, seeing and hearing her antics and the things she comes up with. Every day is something new and a fun adventure through their eyes. Daddy can't read enough books to her before bedtime (he normally has to read like 5-10 of her favorite short books before she will go to bed) so our bedtime routine starts like at like 6:30 or 7, which is a full 30 min before we actually want her in bed. It makes me so happy though that they have that special thing to share (there are plenty of other things that ONLY Mommy can do just right for her).

She is totally excited about the idea of having her own baby in the house too. She has been totally fascinated by both Hayley and Reese. The boys could care less and are playing with toys running down the street and Aurora is standing over them saying "baby" and petting their hands gently and tucking their blankets around them. At the Stoops last night they had a play baby-doll and a little bed set, and Aurora spent tons of time laying the doll in bed, tucking the doll in, picking it back up and hugging it, and repeating the process. SOOOO cute. She knows that the infant carseat is for the baby (click here for the video). She's so maternal and caring already! I can't wait not only to have Abby home for myself but to share having another baby with my sweet little girl. She's going to be the best big sister ever!!!

Next up: Aurora's birthday party this weekend. (When you ask her how old she is she proudly says "Two!".)

24 Weeks = 6 Months. Really?

2011-03-31T15:19:00.000-07:00

Well Tuesday marked 24 weeks along in the pregnancy. At some point after the halfway point you stop counting up and start counting down (only 16 weeks left!!!). On one hand 16 sounds like just a glimmer of time, but 4 months on the other hand is a long time to continue to get fatter and deal with being more uncomfortable and having more body aches.

People keep asking how this pregnancy was different from Aurora's. They have been really similar, with the following exceptions.

Abby: Worst morning sickness I could imagine. I wanted to die. Was much more sensitive to smells than I ever could have imagined. / Aurora: Bad morning sickness. It sucked balls. / Both: Started up at 6 weeks, peaked at about 8-10? and just after I started the 2nd trimester it quickly tapered off.
Abby: I didn't really have a feeling for what she was right away. Just a few days before the big US I was getting "girl" vibes though. / Aurora: Knew from the start she was a girl.
Abby: A few minor headaches. Manageable with Tylenol. / Aurora: Migraines showed up in the second trimester and were a nightmare. Was unbelievably sensitive to light and sound. Tylenol didn't even touch it, so I stopped bothering after the first few. Normally they would go away overnight but at the worst, they stayed for days straight.
Abby: Lost about 5 lbs due to morning sickness the 1st trimester. / Aurora: Didn't gain any weight (maybe lost a pound or two) the 1st trimester. / Both: Pretty much net zero headed into the second half of the pregnancy, then suddenly started packing on the pounds like crazy and can't seem to eat enough. Mmmmmmm food.
Abby: Craving red meat once the morning sickness went away. / Aurora: Couldn't get enough OJ the 1st trimester. / Both: Same 1st trimester craving for Milk, and general aversion to salty food. (Saltines, the 1st tri lifeline had to be salt free).
Abby: Heartburn from the beginning. Learned my lesson from Aurora though and started taking Zantac right away. / Aurora: Managed by Tums until the 3rd trimester when it was intolerable. I tried to stick it out but it got so bad that I couldn't eat much, and had to stop eating after 3pm and even then it was really bad in the evening and I was waking up choking on my own vomit. I finally started taking Zantac a few weeks before Aurora came.

I'm very very curious to see now how early (or late) Abby comes, and how labor & delivery go in comparison to Aurora's birth. We will just have to see!

To follow up on a previous topic, Blake and Alyssa locked down their wedding date: August 6th. Yes, your math is right, thats just about 2 1/2 weeks past my due date of July 19th. It will be in Vegas at Treasure Island. Considering I'm supposed to be a bridesmaid, that complicates things! Fitting into a dress will be the least of my worries, as I am looking at a 50/50 chance of not even going. Pretty much if Abby has not come by then all of us (me, Ryan & Ryan) would stay in San Diego. If she comes on time, Ryan will take Aurora to the wedding and I will stay behind with the newborn (no way I could endure the drive to Vegas while still trying to heal up if this time is anything like last time, plus a two week old is way too young to be exposing to all those people and the Vegas "air".) If she comes early like Aurora, depending on how I'm healing and how the beastfeeding schedule is progressing we will all get to go. That's a lot of "ifs"!!! So we will have to see how it all works out. Phew it sure is a busy summer.

Preschool Blues & The Beginning of the Summer of Babies

2011-03-28T13:50:00.000-07:00

So Friday Ryan and I went to tour preschools in Tierrasanta with Aurora. There were three that offer full day, full time programs for 2 year olds and up; Bright Horizons, Adventure Days (associated with Vista Grande Community Church) and Panda Bear Preschool (associated with the Chinese Community Church). Long story short, and after a long morning of visits, the one we fell in love with and has the best facilities and is accredited also happens to cost $1,100 a month. The other two we didn't like as much, and still cost $850-950 a month. Considering we pay $600 a month right now with our sitter, and keeping in mind that we will be adding another $600 a month bill on when Abby gets here, we simply can't afford it right now. :0( So we will re-assess the situation in a year when Rory will be 3 years old and see where our finances are. I don't really want to consider any program except for our first pick (Bright Horizons) but its so much more expensive than the others, and again, we will have to see where we are at by then.

In group news, Elly had Hayley! Two days before her scheduled c-section date her water broke and she went into labor. I don't know the details yet, but it sounds like in the process of laboring and waiting to be able to do the c-section she had some complications again but everything turned out ok and we are lucky that both she and baby are here with us and alive! This marks the beginning of the summer of babies! Next up is Alyssa, then Ashley (who has been put on bedrest because she started dilating and was 60% effaced with 2 months to go!) then me.

I had my monthly update with my midwife last Wed too. Main points as follows: 1. I am anemic, so need to start taking iron pills. Makes sense to me why when I was finally eating again the first meal I was craving was a big thick freaking slab of bloody prime rib. Mmmmmm. 2. My lungs sound clear despite the terrible cough that is lasting weeks after my cold went away. Ok to take cough syrup and I'm supposed to contact her if it lasts another week (which is coming up in a few days. It has not showed signs of letting up, so.....) 3. She confirmed that they listed the baby as "female" from the ultrasound. Haha nay-sayers. So unless the tech was wrong and missed something or Abby grows a penis, two girls it is for Ryan & Loralyn. 4. They didn’t get a good shot of the nasal bone or whatever in the "big" ultrasound, which can be an indicator for downs. Soooooo, she gave me the option of doing another US to try to get that shot. She said insurance would probably cover it. Most of you know how I feel about ultrasounds unless they are medically indicated (don't really approve of them), and all the other indicators for downs have been really low. She said it wasn’t absent, they just didn’t get a good shot at it. I was sort of 50/50 and Ryan said hes more 60/40 (to not do it). So I pretty much decided not to get it done. In my heart of hearts I don't think there is a good chance Abby has down's and I don't feel like the ultrasound would change anything anyway (it's really too late to abort, and since the other indicators were so low, I think the only thing a "positive" us as an indicator would mean is just an increased risk for downs).

Other than that things are just moving along in the Cross household. Aurora is such a big girl and surprises us every day with little accomplishments and milestones that she is achieving. We are trying to prepare ourselves for the summer, which we know is going to be one hectic ride. Blake and Alyssa finally decided on a venue and date for their long awaited wedding (Treasure Island in Vegas on August 6th) and Oy Vey that will be hectic. But that's a topic for a whole other blog!!!

With the 1st Trimester Behind Me... The Best is Yet to Come!

2011-03-10T09:31:00.000-08:00

I'm starting to feel really good about things! I'm 100% over the 1st trimester annoying symptoms (morning sickness, exhaustion, breathlessness, etc.) and summer is just around the corner. More on the happy stuff in a second, I just need a paragraph to vent about the annoying nuisance of a cold I have right now.

So about a little over a month ago on a Monday Aurora woke up with a runny nose. That Wed when I picked her up from Diane's she had taken a turn for the worse and had been feeling crummy all day and had a bit of a fever. The fever got worse that night and I stayed home with Aurora the next day. Her runny nose and cough lingered, and then several weeks later I went to bed with what I thought was allergies. Well I woke up with the congestion from hell, a crazy runny nose and sneezing that didnt go away no matter where I was, keying me in that I had a cold. Here I am 3 weeks later still sick, and having gone through the entire gamut of cold symptoms (congestion, runny nose, nasty sticky green-yellow snot that wont come out, sneezing, sore throat, sinus pressure, coughing, AGH!). This has made it impossible to sleep well, and for several mornings in a row I was waking up at 3:30am not being able to go back to sleep. Well about a week ago, desperate to relieve my sinus's (the congestion was so bad I literally couldn't get an ounce of air through at all, and it was so infected that the mucus I could get out was the nastiest yellow-green sludge you have ever seen) I almost went to the ER to see if they could do something. (This was on a weekend and I had no hope of getting a Dr. apt until earliest Tues). I knew I would just sit there for hours, and eventually see someone who may or may not do anything but give me antibiotics. So I thought I would try my own home remedy, my Netti Pot, which I HATE using but it does seriously work for clearing things out. Well I started using it at night before bed and in the morning when waking up and it started helping SOOOO much. Within a few days the congestion had gone down considerably and the mucus was not as thick, or yellow-green anymore, and I was able to sleep better. That in combo with taking steamy showers before bed and using the humidifier by my bed at night have helped keep my sinuses at bay and I think (cross my fingers hope to God) that Im THIS close to kicking this thing finally!!! Ryan unfortunately has it but he's allowed to take meds for it, and his doesnt seem to be as bad. We all have the lingering cough but that always takes forever to go away anyway.

Anyway, on to the fun stuff! Ryan and I LOVE our phones. Its so easy to take pics on the spot, and immediately upload them to where we want, and everyone gets to see more of Aurora whether they like it or not! Speaking of Aurora, she is getting better at two syllable words and even says two words together sometimes. Ryan and I have decided we will be putting her into preschool once my maternity leave is over. Its sort of scary thinking about all the extra time and coordination we will need to make a second child work! (Mostly with regards to us doing it as two full time working parents) Two different kids at different stages/schedules, with different needs, going to two different day care places, Ahhh!!! Obviously we will make it work; every parent does, but I just know it is going to be a lot. I remember everyone telling us when I was pregnant with Aurora, "enjoy your time together now, rest, etc. because its going to get crazy when the baby comes" and I feel that way now - I'm always thinking how easy it is to just pop to the grocery store with one kid, or take one kid to daycare on the way out to work, or go to a social event and sort of keep an eye on on kid, packing stuff for one kid... soon we will have two and that will all be a thing of the past!

All that being said, I think I'm really enjoying this time we have before the baby comes. I'm so happy to be out of the first trimester and that terrible morning sickness (that was the most awful thing I have EVER had to endure and there is nothing on the planet that could convince me to go through that again). And being through it once and knowing that this time is my last time being pregnant, I'm sort of savoring certain parts of the experience (getting big and round, feeling the baby move in my tummy, feeling famished all of the time and eating so much knowing I'm nurturing the baby growing inside me). And the weather warming up and the sun coming out to play the last few weeks has just warmed me right through my soul and makes me so happy. I think of how close summer is, and how amazing the summer is going to be. There are so many things to look forward to. Easter, Rory's birthday, mother's day, Memorial Day up at the King's River, Abby coming, the long awaited reunion with my cousin Jay and his family moving to San Diego... and those are just the specific events. In general, I'm looking forward to hot summer days at the pool, bbqs with friends and family, having the kids run around in their swimsuits (or better yet, their birthday suits!!!), my maternity leave and enjoying three 3 day weekends per month with Ryan, trips to the Ranch, breastfeeding a newborn and not having to yet go back to work and pump... In a lot of ways I think this just might be the best summer of my life!

Halfway Home

2011-03-02T03:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday marked 20 weeks; halfway through the pregnancy. After the morning sickness went away, the last several weeks have been flying by. The biggest news recently was the 19 week ultrasound. We went into the ultrasound planning on Ryan finding out the sex, but not me. We were telling everyone that neither of us were going to find out, just to make things easier on Ryan (not have people hound him to try to get it out of him). When we got to the exam, the tech asked us if we wanted to know. I said he wants to know, but I dont. And Ryan said, "Actually Im good." I was super touched and thought how nice that was of him to last min go in with me to not find out. So we go through and she gets all the shots she needs to and we get to the crotch shot. At that point I see a glance and I dont see anything there, so I initially think "girl". I should also say that before the US I had told Ryan I felt like it was a girl at that point - I had not had a feeling before that but just in the 18 week range I was feeling girl. Anyway, so the tech tells us to turn away since this was the shot. So then she tells us when its over and we look back, and a few min later, the tech says, "she" then awkwardly pauses and adds, "or he". If that wasnt bad enough, she does it several more times during the ultrasound. Seriously?????? Then the printer wasnt working, so they said they would make us a CD of the pictures. And she warns me, "but the sex shot is on there and its labeled so since you dont want to know dont look at that one", and Im thinking, come on lady, do you really not realize that you have already totally ruined it and we know its a girl??? So we left and I said we might as well double check the CD for the shot since it was already kind of ruined for us. Sure enough, there are two crotch shots labeled Fem1 and Fem2. One you cant really see anything, the other is more clear, but still doesnt look totally convincing. I think it's pretty clear but some of the other friends and family can see where it could still be a boy. I guess we will all get the surprise of our life if out comes a James Ryan or Alexander Ryan instead of an Abigail Rose. Otherwise, the baby looked good from the US - measuring a little over 1o oz, heartrate at 147, and the head measuring closer to 18 weeks than 19 weeks. (What can I say, Ryan and I are a small headed family!)

Another big milestone, I felt the baby move for the first time during the ultrasound. I had felt flutterings before but couldnt be sure if they were gas or something else. And since then Ive been feeling her more and more.

Last Monday night I had some pretty serious allergies before bed, or so I thought. Well turns out it was a serious cold. I was unable to breathe at all at night, getting the worst sleep ever. (Actually I dont know if you can even call it sleep - more like tossing and turning). By the end of the weekend, I was almost better, then yesterday I woke up with a sore throat and started getting stuffy again. Come on already! Leave me alone! Then this morning I woke up to diarrhea and vomiting. Must be a stomach flu or something. UGH. However, looking back at my blog from Aurora's pregnancy, I got a really terrible cold around the same time. I guess there is something to be said for that repressed immune system.

Im also right on track for my weight. Ive gained about 7 lbs from my lowest weight, and total from my start weight is only about 2 lbs. So we will see how I gain from here, but hopefully I can keep the gain minimal in this second half of the pregnancy.

Ive also changed midwifes - Rita spread her wings to fly, being the free spirit she is, and went to Africa for a while. From there she will move to France and see where things take her. Im very happy for her and know this the right choice for her. She recommended I see Rebecca, another midwife, and so I have had my first apt with her. You really can't go wrong; all of them ware wonderful. :0)

Aurora is doing well. She is talking up a storm and exerting her wants and needs as forcefully as any toddler. "Mine" and "Pease" are her go to words. She will just keep repeating one or both of them over and over when she doesnt get her way. We are working on colors and numbers, although she doesnt really have any of them down. Her hair is long enough to put in a cute ponytail or double ponytails, which make her look like such a big girl! Ive decided I do like her better with some bangs so I am keeping a little fringe in front trimmed (after our hair cut debacle with Grandpa Wayne where he CHOPPED her hair without asking us first!!!). She has gone pee pee in the potty twice in the last few days. We arent forcing it but for sure trying to make her aware of the option to go in the potty instead of her diaper. It would be awesome to get her mostly on the potty before the baby comes. We will see! We have talked to her about the baby and she knows there is a baby in my belly. However, I dont know how much of that concept she actually gets.

In other exciting news, Ryan and I finally sprung and decided to get smart phones. We got the HTC EVO, and a great discount with Sprint through my work. We are loving them and being able to keep in easier touch with our friends and family, as well as capturing pictures and video more easily and uploading it quicker with them.

We have also found an amazing housecleaner who we love (thank you Sarah from work for the referral) and have set up on a monthly schedule. Its a difficult added monthly expense especially when we just got the phones, but it is giving us more quality time because we are spending less time cleaning, and we are less stressed.

Well I think thats about it for now!

Rory Dictionary

2011-02-03T08:39:00.000-08:00

Man - He-man
Mo - Elmo
Emo - Elmo
Squeal - Elmo, possibly He-man, possibly Keira
Mine - Don't you dare touch whats in my hand, reach, or sight or I will scream and cry.
No - No
No - I'm really busy, come back later
No - Don't you dare touch whats in my hand, reach, or sight or I will scream and cry.

Aye - Yes (Who knows where she came up with this, but apparently she thinks she's a pirate)

Es - YES, ok? (I can't believe you are making me say it, isnt it obvious I'm agreeing to your conditions... geez.)

Peese - Please I really really really want [that] and I'll do anything to get it.

Guin - Guinness

Guin - Friend who is smaller than me

Guin - Fun to torture
Boss - Boston
Boss - Playtime
Boss - Friend (but totally in a platonic friend way and not in the let's play doctor or go to prom way)
Saber - Lightsaber
Poop - I pooped my pants
Pool - Playtime
Pool - Residence of Jenna
Uke - Luke

Uke - Playtime
Uke - The Funny Guy
Uke - Friend (but totally in a platonic friend way and not in the let's play doctor or go to prom way)
Pa Pa - Pacifier
Pa Pa - A Holy Artifact sent by God
Dad - Playtime
Dad - That Goofy Guy
Dad - The Tickle Monster
Oh - I have no idea what you just said but I'll play along and humor you
Mum - Cuddle Time
Mum - Chef Instructor
Mum - Cookie Sharer
Cook - Cookie Monster
Keir - Keira
Keir - Playtime
Keir - Time to run around and scream
Grm - Grammy
Grm - Fun Time
Mop - Moppsy
Mop - Spoiler

Mop - Secondary Sitter
Bray - Braydon
Bray - Playtime
Bray - Friend (but totally in a platonic friend way and not in the let's play doctor or go to prom way)

What Happened to my Last Post?

2011-01-30T18:13:00.000-08:00

Well I had a big post that I was working on and I have no idea where it went. So here I go starting again. :0(

So on Tuesday Ill be 16 weeks pregnant. Im a gillion times happier than I was 4 weeks ago, and a gillion bazillion times happier than 8 weeks ago. My morning sickness is totally gone now, and Im back up and running cooking and cleaning and managing the kitchen. For sure not up to "par" but hey, close enough. Ive regained 3 of the 5 lbs I lost in the first trimester. I dont want to gain as much with this pregnancy as with Aurora though. I gained 35 total with her, and although that was within recommendations, it was a little much for my frame. I was pretty uncomfortable in the last trimester, and had a good 10 lbs after the birth that took a long time to lose. I feel that 25lbs is a healthier goal for this time around. We will see how easy that proves to be though, now that Im eating again! My heartburn has continued to get worse though, and I am now on Zantac for it, but still having to take Tums additionally about once a day. Ive had a few headaches, but so far none as bad as last time (at least so far). Ive been pretty congested which makes it hard to sleep but overall I cant really complain; Im not a walking zombie!

We are calling the baby "Sam" which we think is a good androgynous name since we wont be finding out the sex. I keep thinking I might change my mind about wanting to know once we come up on the big ultrasound, but then I think about the birth itself and I just dont want to know until then, and it reaffirms my resolve. Of course everyone thinks Im crazy, and is frustrated (THEY want to know, after all). My mom is trying to convince me to let her know, and swears she'll be able to keep it a secret. I keep telling her shes full of poop and she wouldnt be able to keep it a secret if her life depended on it. But that doesnt stop her from trying to convince me otherwise.

Aurora is growing by leaps and bounds every day. She is talking up a storm and surprises us all the time by saying words that we didnt even know she knows. (Today at a Chinese restaurant she pointed to a panda and said, "Pan-a") She has learned the word "mine" and loves using it. We are trying to concentrate on simple and polite phrases that she can use to get what she wants - please, help, etc. Thank you is a little more complicated - she's still not so good at multi syllable words no less multiple words. Her favorite activity is playing with daddy, and he is the best at it for sure. (Mommies are best at cuddling and comforting). We finally got all of her toys organized and into groupings and in separated bins (thank you mom for getting that ball rolling). Her bedtime has moved up to 7:30-8pm and daddy does the bedtime routine. Starts with brushing her teeth, then getting a new diaper, jammies, bedtime books that she gets to pick out and finally, she gets her "paa-paa" - her pacifier - her little stuffed mouse, and her blanket and goes right to bed. She still gets two bottles a day - one in the morning and one at night - but drinks water and milk (sometimes juice) out of her sippy cups during the day.

We are debating what to do for Aurora's 2nd birthday since Ill be ready to pop by then and want to have a plan in place early, but havent totally decided between a big family get together at someone's house or at a park vs something smaller just for our friends with kids at like Chuck E Cheese or something. We'll see!

I Survived the Holidays!

2011-01-04T11:12:00.001-08:00

Today I'm 12 weeks pregnant. Once I complete this week and next, I'll be out of the first trimester. I'm so looking forward to this, because it means things are going to get better from here on out! At least they did last time and this pregnancy's timelines have been pretty much the same as last one (just higher intensity of the symptoms). The nausea has actually subsided a lot, although I'm still throwing up just as much (some days not at all, most days once in the evening and once in a while twice in a day). I've only thrown up in the morning 3 or 4 times; mostly its in the evenings, esp just before bed (around 8pm). And my energy levels have continued to increase. Today I go in to get some blood work done (1st tri screening) and on Friday I go in for the NT US.

I made it through the holidays. I spent lots of time outside with warm clothes, and I had awesome family members who kept me company. (I couldnt be inside a lot with all the food everywhere and all the smells that go with it). I did find that baby bel cheese and rice crackers sat really well and at lots of that combo. Aurora got WAY too many gifts; she actually didnt even get around to opening all of them and I had to open the rest for her later while she was with my mom. Big girl at 20 months now is talking more (we are working on two syllable words) has all her first round of teeth, still loves her night time and morning warm bottle of milk, and gets more independent and opinionated with every passing day. She loves playing pretend. She got a set of play food from both us and Blake & Alyssa and she LOVES "tasting" the food, and stirring the pot.

Im looking forward to the next few months; hopefully they include the lessening of my symptoms, and allow me to get back into my social scene, cause I MISS IT!

I'm Not Dead - I'm Getting Better.....(I think I'll go for a walk)

2010-12-22T11:21:00.001-08:00

Ok I have to quote Monty Python for this one first, just because its hilarious and it fits my situation:

The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.
[a man puts a body on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one.
The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not.
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body: Right

All jokes aside, I feel like for the last 4 weeks I've been on the brink of "death" and at various points I come up for air then get sucked back down. About 2 weeks ago I got to be throwing up every afternoon/evening, and had lost almost 5lbs. Last Friday as a last stitch effort to try anything I went to Rite-Aid to buy some of those motion sickness acupressure wrist bands. (They are technically for nausea in general but most people use it and know what they are for their indicated use of motion sickness). Miracle of all miracles, as soon as I put them on I got instant relief that brought my nausea from a 10 down to a 6 or 7. I started crying tears of relief right there in the car. For the first time in weeks I was able to walk into my house without gagging or vomiting. I still have thrown up a few times since wearing them, but my general nausea level is very much decreased.

It was perfect timing too, because that weekend was Ryan's cousin Philip Cross's wedding up in Glendora (which is quite a drive and necessitated an overnight stay up there). I was anticipating it being a miserable weekend for me, but with the bands it was bearable and even more enjoyable than anything else I would have been doing (like melting into the couch for hours on end watching Law & Order marathons). I had to split the second they served the food (poultry and I just dont mix right now, and I dont think any amount of acupressure or drugs could lessen that right now), but at least I made it through the ceremony and the beginning of the reception. It really was beautiful, and the Crosses did a great job. Nicole's dress was really stunning and the red/white color scheme was perfect for a Christmas time wedding; fitting for the season but not tacky and screaming "X-mas!".

So the only downside to them is that they are REALLY tight and leave pretty big welts on my wrists for a while after I take them off. So Im wearing them when I get off work in the PM until I eat breakfast in the AM, then I take them off to give my wrists a break until the PM again.

My first appointment was at Kaiser on Monday. It was so nice to make sure everything was ok (heart is beating!) and especially the confirmation that there is only one of them! I dont know what I would have done if it was twins. lol. I invited Kimmy along, cause with missing Aurora's birth I knew she would love to be a part of whatever she could be for this second one. It was a long day; the appointment, then I got two shots (the flu shot and dTap) and my blood drawn. I was so tired by the time we got back home!

I made my first appointment with UCSD for January, and I'm excited I get to see my midwife Rita from last time (I found out she's taking an extended leave so she wont be my midwife for this pregnancy but all of them at UCSD are so great I can't go wrong).

As for home life, I have had an increase in energy, so Ive been able to in short bursts help Ryan clean the kitchen, put away my clean clothes, wrap our xmas presents, etc. He finally got sick of feeding himself and Rory PB&J's and quesadillas for dinner every night, so he picked up some easy frozen foods at Costco to prepare. My mom has taken Rory on a few occasions for several days at a time, which allowed Ryan to get caught up on household chores and also to get out the Xmas decorations and to get a tree, and decorate. He put up bulbs hanging from the trees outside and it looks sooo cute! Go honey!

One thing we didnt get around to this year: taking a xmas family photo or getting out cards/letters. This is the first year since we've been together that I have not gotten them out. But it will probably be the last, unless I come down with some other debilitating illness around the holidays at some other point in my life. Next year's letter will be crazy since we'll have two years to catch up with.

On other news, my cousin Jay got a date in Feb for coming home from his third deployment in Afghanistan, and we are so excited to have him home safe and sound, and see him, his wife Leizel and their son Jude.

Love and hugs to everyone and their loved ones this Christmas!

Things That Make me Sick to my Stomach at 8 Weeks

2010-12-10T10:45:00.000-08:00

The smell of my house
The smell of my car
The smell of my purse
The smell of my pee
The smell of anyone heating up any food or cooking
The smell of a pan being heated
The smell of lotion
The smell of anyone's breath
The smell of anyone's perfume
The smell of the 52 by the dump on my way to work

Heck, what DOESNT make me sick to my stomach? The answer is water. In the shower is the only time I can honestly breathe a full lungful of air without gagging. Its so bad that I dont breathe in all the way day to day because doing so would be too much "smell" of whatever is there at that time and I would gag. So short little breaths are all I cant take. Im sure that doesnt help my oxygen levels, which apparently need to increase right now.

A Pattern Emerges

2010-12-08T09:24:00.001-08:00

At least Im starting to see a pattern. Ive thrown up about 5 times by now. Afternoons and evenings are the worst. Around 1pm it starts to creep up and just sticks round until I either throw up sometime between 4-7pm or go to bed. Then in the morning Im dehydrated and empty but then I have my carnation instant breakfast which makes me feel better and as long as I eat small snacks throughout the day im ok and have a good morning till it starts up again around 1pm. At least I know what to expect now! And we know I have plenty of fat of the land to live off of for a while, haha.

Oh No

2010-12-01T15:44:00.001-08:00

Well Aurora broke 1 of her final 3 teeth that she has left. Bottom left corner. She only has two bottom on the other side left then she has all of her baby teeth!

She's started hitting though which is not good. I think it came from the hard patting that she would give Guinness, but we are trying to teach her now its not ok. She for sure is expressing outbursts of frustration and independence.

She has developed the concept of play-pretend. She will pretend to eat something from your hand with you. For Xmas we got her a play set of food, so Im excited to give that to her and "cook" with her and "try" the new foods!

On the 5th she'll be 19 months old, wow! Shes growing and maturing so quickly. She has a definite preference for certain shoes, jackets, etc. She recently had a complete meltdown over a pair of shoes that for the previous 3 weeks had been her total favorite. But not that morning; she wanted a pair of pink sandals that she hadnt touched in months. Oh boy.

Just Surviving... One Day at a Time

2010-11-30T15:25:00.000-08:00

That's all I can manage. Night time is my favorite time - I can knock a whole 10 hours of this misery out in one shot. The days are just torture. I feel very sorry to anyone that has to deal with the terrible monster that I've become, esp Ryan and Rory.

Don't mind me, Ill just be hiding out for the next 2 months till this all magically disappears.

Just to document, threw up for the first time today. Walked into the house, and couldnt stand the smell of it. Walked right back out and lost my cookies.

Can I Get a Refund???

2010-11-29T14:56:00.001-08:00

So everything was going great after I found out for about 2 weeks. I thought, gee is everything ok? Im not really getting any symptoms and I remember getting lots last time! Then at 6 weeks I started to feel pretty freaking sick. Then for the last week its gotten terrible. Sooo tired, going to bed at like 8pm and very nauseous.

This week was Thanksgiving. SOoooo wonderful we spent it with Ashley & Dylan, and invited my family. It was the best Thanksgiving my mom had ever remembered, and Ashley and her mom Trish did such a great job with the food and the decorating! I was able to eat that day, although I didnt eat a lot. Then on Sat we went to Ryan's mom's house and I felt terrible. I was on the couch the whole time and threw a hissy fit about the water cause I could taste mildew in it. Sunday was a brunch with the VM Clan then ornament party for the girls. I made a breakfast casserole/bread pudding dish that is sooo yummy normally but cooking it made me almost lose my cookies. At brunch Elly made really good waffles and I ate them with whipped cream and fresh fruit. YUM. Nothing else was really appetizing to me though. I felt good enough to do the crafts, and luckily there were not any strange smells to compete with throughout the process. Then when we packed up to go home I lifted the lid to my casserole to see how much was left and it was enough to send me over the top. I almost threw up right there and had to run outside and catch my breath before coming back inside. Luckily Alyssa agreed to take it for me cause I couldnt stomach the thought of even having to bring that rotting carcass home. It was bad enough that the house still smelled like it when we got home.

Ryan has been a saint and Ive pretty much told him he'll be a single parent taking care of two kids for the next 3 months till this all goes away. I love that man.

I am so miserable I began to wonder if it was this bad last time; surely I would have never wanted to have another kid if I had to go through this once before and would have to again for a second kid.... Well lucky I started my blog at the beginning last time and have record of it. Some excerpts:

10 Weeks: "Still feeling very weak and physically exhausted all the time. Been gagging a lot. Threw up for the first time on Saturday. Not feeling as nauseas as weeks 6 & 7 though. Can’t wait to feel better, to start cooking, cleaning and walking again. The house is a mess, I miss cooking and I know the fresh air would be good for me."

12 Weeks: "Well I don’t feel as weak anymore, but I still feel awful. Food is my enemy. I am gagging over everything and if I go too long without eating, I get sick to my stomach. It’s the worst at night. I woke up at 2am starving. I ate a cracker but it was too late already and I threw up. Dinner was long since digested, so it was just bile and a cracker, but still wasn’t fun! I ate more crackers after with some water and was fine till morning."

Oh God, things were exactly this bad last time! I've been duped! Can I get a refund? I was just kidding I didnt really want to go through this again! Ill wait till I have enough money to pay someone else to do this... Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One thing's for sure - Pregnancy Amnesia is a for real occurrence. Honestly. If we remembered how terrible this all was we would never do it again. Unless you are just a total whore and dont have any pregnancy symptoms. If thats you at least pretend you are in pain for your own sake. Or else I'll come after you with my last ounce of energy.

According to last time I should be mostly done with the morning sickness by 16 weeks. However, the other ones Im terrified of (the migraines especially). Im already experiencing the stuffy sinuses and the cotton in my ears. I thought at first it was allergies or a cold but then my blog reminded me it was the increased blood flow to my mucus membranes... Seriously I guess I was way more read up last time than this time. Good thing I have me to reference back to. lol.

Here We Go Again!

2010-11-19T14:42:00.000-08:00

My period was due on 11/20. Friday, Nov 19th was boy's poker night at Ashley and Dylan's house. All the girls and kids were over while the boys played away (Elly with Brayden, Nicole with Luke, me with Aurora, and Alyssa - Reese is still cooking in her tummy and Ashley was out of town with Boston).

We were discussing if Nicole and I were pregnant yet (Elly, Alyssa and Ashely are all pregnant, Nicole and I had just that month started "trying"). Nicole said she was sure she wasnt but asked if I was. I said I didnt know cause I didnt take a test yet! They gave me trouble, but I responded that I wasnt due till the next day, and didnt want to take a test till I would know for sure; I didnt want to get a negative test then have to take another one to make sure I wasnt pregnant. They wouldnt take no for an answer, so upstairs I went to go take my test.

I had for sure had a few "symptoms" (cried during the Lion King in Vegas, got nauseous for a random morning on that same trip, was crazy hungry that same trip) but nothing that was so obvious that I could say for sure. Plus, I couldn't be pregnant: it was too soon. It was only the first month we were "trying"! And I was supposed to be ovulating for Halloween based on my cycle, but based on what I could tell I ovulated that week before (Oct 25-28 somewhere). We did have sex twice that week, but what were the chances?

Well as long as it took for those thoughts to go through my head, up pops the positive line on the test. "You have got to be freaking kidding me!" I yell. Everyone goes crazy downstairs "Oh my gosh you are pregnant!!!!!!!!!" Shaking I run down the stairs disbelieving. Seriously, first month off the bat again?

So then we all discuss how I should tell Ryan and we decided the best thing would be to tell him right then and there in the middle of boy's poker night. This is how it went down:

Sorry, Another Month Passed...

2010-11-11T10:38:00.000-08:00

Ok I know. I haven’t blogged since Oct 6th and this is long overdue. And the only reason is because my computer at work got a virus on it and is scanning (a 3 hour process) and I cant do anything without my desktop.

Anyway, LOTS has happened since my last post. Rory cut like 4 more teeth and now almost has a full set. All her left side came in at once now the other side is following behind. Shes only missing like 3 up front now on that right side. Its so funny to see her with a full mouth of teeth after her not getting her first tooth until like 10 months. She is talking more and more now too. Her only really good 2 syllable word though is “Gran-pa”. And Wayne couldn’t be more proud. Shes SOOO independent now, wanting to do every little thing herself and if you even try to help in the slightest she flips out and wants to abandon the project all together. Its like she’s saying, “if your hands even so much as touch this, I don’t want any part in it!” We have moved her bedtime back to 7:30pm since she was waking up earlier, and she has ditched the afternoon nap on most days. Its hard to get her to sit down for a full meal – she prefers to snack slowly on things throughout the day as she goes about her business.

My mom has been a saint – coming for the one Friday a month that Ryan does not have off to watch Rory so I don’t have to take a vaca day… taking Rory for the weekend while we run away to Vegas… taking her the full weeks that our sitter is off but we still have to work. Like this week. As my mom said the other day, “Im watching your kid as much lately as you are!” lol. It’s a nice treat to suddenly have an open schedule, but then there are those moments when it hits you and you just wish they were there to squeeze and kiss and snuggle. (All the while they are screaming and pushing you away to leave them alone and put them down). So here’s my shout out and big THANKS to my mom, even though she doesn’t read this thing anymore.

Now we turn to the holidays! Im very excited for Rory’s first Christmas that she will actually be “participating” in. Last year she played with the wrapping paper, and that was about it. This year we will be buying her a few gifts and she will get to help decorate, (trying to convince her to leave all the nick-knacks alone and not play with and break them).

Good Thing I'm Organized...

2010-10-08T13:27:00.000-07:00

Has it really been a whole month since I last blogged? Well that’s what the technology is telling me and technology doesn’t lie… sooo…

It is officially October, and Fall started 2 weeks ago. Did I say its October? Im going to add on “already” because I really must make my point that the year is escaping me and its completely out of control that is ALREADY October. And before I know it is going to be the end of November. Do you want to know how its going to go by so fast? Lets take a look at my calendar, shall we?

Last weekend: Oktoberfest with the Rubins (so much fun, and just a little too much drinking. Just enough food.), and my Mom’s 60^th Birthday. Wow shes officially what I consider to be ‘senior’. I mean Anything in your 30’s is still young, 40’s and 50’s is middle aged and I feel like when you get to 60 it’s a whole new level of old. I don’t feel like my mom is old enough to be old. But I digress.

This weekend: Cousin Nathan’s Bday party, followed by a recoup day (literally the ONLY one in October), and a very important hair appointment & my dear friend Venissa’s son’s 4 yr old Bday party.

Next week, among work will be the dentist, dinner for friends who just had a baby, donating blood on a lunch break.

3^rd weekend in Oct: Another friend’s son’s Bday party, and friend’s Bday party later that night (Bday count is currently at 6 including my Aunt Tina whose was not previously mentioned in an event), and Bate’s Pumpkin Patch with the VM clan and the kiddies. (Yes Nicole from here on out you will be included when I refer to the VM clan even though you don’t live here with us).

That week is Taco night for my bday, dinner with Ryan’s mom, then dinner with Brian. (I can feel the lbs packing on now).

4^th weekend in Oct: Mine and Meg’s Bday party (Bday count at 8 and counting), Phil & Nicole’s engagement party, and another pumpkin patch day with the kiddies.

Last weekend in Oct: Pumpkin carving with the VM clan, our annual Halloween party, Rory’s first actual trick-or-treating Halloween and carnival.

First weekend in Nov: Vegas baby! (with the Kaminsky’s) CANT WAIT FOR VEGAS. Staying at the Luxor, seeing Blue Man Group and The Lion King – shout out for front row tix at both for half the price. Another shout out to my mom who is watching my kid as much we are for the next month and a half.

Second weekend in Nov: Following a huge symposium at work that I am 100% responsible for planning and executing (its been in the works for a year and a half) we get to see the Schott’s on our home turf. Cant wait for that! And to meet Roscoe too!

If you got bored and were scanning the above, heres where to pick back up. (Im not judging. I know that my calendar for the next month and a half is probably really boring to most of you. I wouldn’t read yours. I really just put it up there to be a reminder to Ryan next month of why we have no money in our bank account.)

Yeah so needless to say Im tired just thinking about it all. How the heck am I going to fit in time to do shopping for all these events, and wait, there is Boss’s Day on Oct 16^th! AHhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! Next chance I get to breathe… I think I might have a heart attack out of boredom. Joking. Ill sleep for 12 days straight.

How’s the family? Great. Rory is a pleasure as always. She has had a few nights of waking up randomly in the middle, I think those canines are finally going to make their appearance. Top left is next – Im calling it. She has loved all this weather; she gets to learn about rain, and the leaves are changing (which she loves to play with). Have I mentioned that the walk to the mailbox which should be a 2 min chore turns into a 20 min fieldtrip that she LOVES each day.

Guinness got an infected va-jay-jay which was no fun. $150 later, she had to take antibiotics and wear a cone again for the first time since getting her girly parts removed. Cones are not made for dogs who have short legs. She kept doing face plants every few feet when the cone would catch on uneven ground. It was hilarious but seriously pathetically sad. Good thing it was resolved quickly.

So looking forward to this month. Still don’t know what Ryan and I will be for Halloween – Im kind of putting all our energy and money into Aurora’s adorable little blue fairy outfit. I even made her wand. It will last all of 60 seconds, but that’s just how things go with toddlers right? Ill take pictures of it first! And Im so stoked, I got my dress for my birthday party. Ross for $8.50, can you believe it? It was perfect except the sleeves were too long so I took them to my guy and for $10 he took it in. With those and my $9.99 hot heels I got there too and my birthday outfit is complete!

16 Month Dr. Visit Update

2010-09-10T10:07:00.000-07:00

So Ryan just got back with Rory from the doctor. This was supposed to be her 15 month old apt but they didnt have an opening till now. She was:

19 lbs (she was actually 19.7 but they take off for clothes and diaper since they dont do naked baby anymore) and that puts her at the 2nd percentile for weight.
30 inches even, which puts her at 25th-50th percentile for height.
45.7 cm head, which puts her at 25th-50th percentile for that.

They want her to be getting more good fats (like olive oil) to keep her on track. It looks like she went from 4th to 3rd to 2nd percentile these last few times so its nothing to be super concerned with, just to be aware of and to try to make sure shes getting good healthy fats to keep her growth curve up.

End of Summer Update

2010-09-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

Aurora has broken both bottom molars (one on each side) this week. Poor thing! For the record though, I was right; the bottom left one broke first. Although Ryan is now claiming that’s what he said. But here on my blog I have the proof, that he said it was going to be bottom right. I win. Anyway I’m so happy that she will finally be able to chew things now; shes got 4 middle up top and 2 bottom middle for biting, and now will have 4 molars, one on each side & top and bottom to chew with.

She’s loving her books more and more each day. Her favorite are the ones with simple words and bright pictures. She has a Sesame Street bubble one that she is OBSESSED with because she loves bubbles more than anything in the world. Her favorite thing to do after dinner is go to the living room where her books are and pull them from the shelf one at a time and read them while she is sitting on the doggy stairs beside the bookshelf.

In fact, she had her first tantrum the other day when we made her stay in the kitchen with us until we were done with dinner. She wanted to go to her books and we said, “you can get out of your high chair when you are done eating but you need to stay with us in the kitchen until we are done eating”. So she cried and sobbed for a number of minutes. Of course this first time she did it we had no idea why she was so upset. Last night Ryan said she probably just wants her books so we brought some into the kitchen and she was so happy with her books in the kitchen till we were done. Problem solved!

She is talking so much more too. This morning she walked into the bathroom and said “baw” I looked where she was pointing and there was a little jewelry box that she likes to play with on the sink. “Oh, box! Yes, here is your box”, it was so cute!

So we are going to Vegas in November with Nicole and Jason, leaving the kids with our parents, and we are soooo excited! We just bought Lion King Tickets, front row. Should be a wonderful show. Then the other night Nicole & Jay are going to Tim McGraw, and we will probably see one of the Cirque shows, Ka or Zumanity are our top choices. We are debating when to start trying to get pregnant. Ill be ovulating right around my birthday so I might just see where things go from there and if I start seeing symptoms in Vegas (I would be about 2 weeks along) I would just take it easy.

And at 3 months in advance, we have the holidays figured out! YAY! I cant tell you what a relief that is. With such big families on both Ryan’s mom and dad’s sides, and my family, ALL in San Diego, its hard to balance them all so everyone feels like they are getting enough time with us, and also manage to make ourselves happy so WE actually enjoy ourselves! I was not really happy with last year. I felt we made too many accommodations for others, and were running around too much to make everyone else happy and to be honest after all of it I still don’t feel like everyone was happy with the arrangement anyway! I know I wasn’t. So this year Ashley invited us to Thanksgiving and told me to invite my family, so I did. Two birds with one stone on that one, we get to spend it with good friends AND my family. Christmas eve sounds like it is at Ryan’s aunt Diana’s house and we had said last year that we would start doing Christmas morning at our house, and Ryan’s mom Cheryl said that she is doing Christmas day at her place so that’s nice we don’t even have to leave Tierrasanta on Christmas! Im really looking forward to it all. And hopefully we will have the best present of all this year, getting pregnant with our second child!

16 Months old? Seriously?

2010-09-02T14:18:00.000-07:00

Aurora will be 16 months old in a few days. The last few months have been such a huge period of growth for her, it stuns me. She is now talking all the time, and has many words under her belt. When our aquarium screen saver goes on the computer, she says "ish!" (the "f" is hard for her to pronounce), and just today walking to the car a black crow flew across the sky and she saw it, pointed and said "bird". She also knows dog, mom, dad, juice, cheese, yes, no, and makes a pretty good effort to repeat any word you say.

She is a huge fan of books now, and will actually let you read one all the way through (as long as too much time is not spent on each page) and will point out things she knows and say them, for ones she doesnt she points them out for you to tell her what they are.

She giggles and cracks up all the time, and her and Daddy especially have a

dozen little games they both play. Like this one, where she puts her hand in your mouth for you to "eat" then pulls it away cracking up cause its the funniest thing in the whole world. It's amazing music to our ears, and we would do anything to get her to laugh time and time again. Our neighbor Erik taught her how to bump it (closed fists against each other) and she thinks thats hilarious now too. Other things that humor her: When Guinness "play" bites her hand, when you try to brush her teeth (just before you actually get inside her mouth, then its not funny anymore), when you chase her pretty much anywhere, when you turn away from her then turn back really quickly and make a face, or say "boo" or other similar thing...

She loves to drink from small cups too. I have been squeezing the juice of an orange in the afternoon and letting her drink it from a small appetizer cup that my mom gave us for her, and she loves it. She's good at it too! Normally no spills although we stand over her careful and ready just in case, and have to remind her to use both hands, since she likes to try it with only one hand.

Did I mention before she's finally in size 12 month? Some stuff is too big, it falls right off of her cause she's so skinny, but she needs that size for her length. (see previous post about her growing 2 inches, and she's grown another 1/2 inch since then!) So it's lots of dresses and tops with the few pants and shorts that fit her normally.

Trying to figure out Halloween, and not sure what Ryan and I are going to do. Rory is going to be a little blue fairy. Got a blue and green tutu, and blue wings. Need to get a blue onsie and we are all set for her!

Still no new teeth since those top molars... but I think a bottom left molar is next, Ryan has a bet against me that its the bottom right. We will see who's right!

Success!

2010-08-19T08:52:00.001-07:00

Well the week was a complete success! Aurora was a perfect angel for my family, and they all loved every second with her. They took her on walks, played with the animals, went to the zoo, out on errands... My mom was so funny at one point I talked to her and she said, "this is so much fun, but I haven't gotten a single thing done all week!" The first morning we had her back she called me and said, "I miss her already! I just woke up and she wasn't there..." I love that she loves Aurora so much and it shows in everything she does and says. With that going so well, we have no reservations about leaving her with my mom when we go to Vegas in November [CANT WAIT FOR VEGAS], or for the week of Thanksgiving or the week between Xmas and New Years that our sitter is also off and we have to work that M-Wed. THANKS MOM - You're the best!

Anyway, so we kept ourselves busy, with plans every night. We skyped each afternoon after work, and called to check in many times a day. Our "busy" plan actually backfired though, and Ryan got VERY sick, and is just now finally almost over it. My mom dropped Rory off on Friday (which Ryan had off). Ryan said she was more excited to see Guinness than him. When I got home though, she had already said hi to her best bud and she was excited to see me. I have a feeling if I was in Ryan's shoes though she still would have been happier to see Guinness.

Anyway, we have our little girl back and life is back to normal. Aurora is turning more and more into a little person every day, who clearly expresses her needs and desires, and her talking is progressing. She says a number of words, the clearest basic ones are yes, no, dog, mum, dad, juice, and cheese. She is having way more fun now, laughing and giggling all the time when you play with her. (It used to be that she would smile pretty easily but it was nearly impossible to get her to crack up). Her two upper molars are mostly through, and no others are in sight yet. I was realizing since she got her first teeth at 10 months old and she is now 15 months old, she has gotten almost 2 teeth per month since her first! Poor thing that is so many teeth to cut all at once! Shes liking her books more too, she is starting to point to things in books, and we then tell her what they are. There is one Sesame Street one that talks about body parts and does something similar to the head shoulders knees and toes song and she does the whole thing with the book (clapping, touch your nose, where is your mouth, your tongue hides inside, wiggle your toes, etc.) sooo cute! Ill try to get that on video. But she is so funny when she knows she's on video she wont "perform" cause she gets distracted by it.

Summer Fun!

2010-08-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

Aurora is about to have a really fun week! She's staying with my mom next week. It was one of two weeks that our sitter, Diane is on vacation and my mom was sweet enough to agree to take Rory for the week so that we could work and save our vacation time. Her (Mopsey) and Grandpa Wayne are going to have sooo much fun. She's going to come back to us way too spoiled.

Ryan and I on the other hand, are going to miss our baby girl like crazy.... but will be taking full advantage of our time with no post-baby responsibilities. We will be going out to dinner, watching movies, taking long walks... all the things that you cant always fit into your schedule when you have to keep a little one on track and in bed by 7pm. Plus, my mom has skype, so we will be able to at least see/talk to her over the net for a few minutes a day.

Other than that, at 15 months tomorrow, her favorite new game is spinning in circles until she is so dizzy that she falls down. She's also finally started signing. Ashley had said that Boston started signing around 13 months, out of the blue after she had given up on it. Then Nicole was saying how Luke started signing a few weeks ago and I thought, well I should try it again then, and I did, and she is signing! Her favorite is "more" which is like clapping but with closed fists. She pretty much gives is that anytime she wants anything or more of anything. She understands the milk one but isnt good at giving it to us. I think she almost forgets or doesnt realize she is thirsty until we offer it. She is finally starting to *almost* sit still for books now. She will pick one out and bring it to you, and if it has very few words per page or you only read some of it and keep page turning at a quick pace, she will sit for it! I can't wait till she is really interested in stories and longer books, I will sit and read to her for hours. I'll love it.

All Better

2010-07-30T14:21:00.000-07:00

Well the reason for her fever was that other molar coming in. So now she has 8 teeth, 2 of them molars! Wholy cow thats a lot of teeth. Her first ones broke at 10 weeks, so thats 2 teeth a month. Wow. She's talking now too! She tries to copy what we say all the time. Its really rough and hard to recognize, only that what 'noises' she makes after we say something sound an awful lot like what we just said. Ryan and my mom & stepdad all took Aurora to the zoo today and apparently she had the best time! So fun. :0)

My Poor Sick Girl

2010-07-27T15:36:00.001-07:00

My darling sweetheart has a fever. :0( She had it yesterday afternoon when Ryan picked her up from Diane's. She was so sad, just tired and listless, whimpering softly every so often, and wanting her favorite pacifier. We just watched tv and let her lay on us all evening then put her to bed. Shes drinking fluids ok at least. Should break by tomorrow morning if its like the other 2 fevers she has had, and related to teething. I noticed the other molar (on the right side) is coming in too. Poor thing.

Aurora Updates

2010-07-23T12:56:00.001-07:00

Wow has she changed in just a few short weeks.

Well our vacation was wonderful, spending part of the time up in Santa Cruz with my Godparents. We stayed with my godfather Charly and his wonderful husband Tracy. We at wonderful food, took great walks at the beach, took amazing outdoor showers, played with their cute new puppy Wally, and just relaxed. We got to spend time with my godmother Mary Worthy and her family too. They gave us this great kid rocking chair that has been in their family for a few generations, and Aurora loves it. (It was a rocking chair, but the rockers needed repair. Aurora didnt have the patience to fix it, so its currently a chair and if we ever get it out of her hands we might turn it back to a rocker.) The rest of the time off was spend with friends & family. Such a great detox week! It was so nice just to have some vacation time that was spent on... well a vacation! Ive been saving and hording my time for pregnancy leave and such, and didnt realize how stressful it was to worry about every day and hour. I cant say Ill feel the same way about our decision when I see the hit on my vacation hours, but.....

Aurora's top left side tooth finally broke through like a week and a half ago, then the other day surprise, an upper molar on the left side is through too! Shes sticking her fingers in her mouth alll the time and chewing on stuff like crazy.

In addition to her teeth, we noticed recently that she seemed to have grown a lot... so we put her up against the wall where we started marking her height, and sure enough, she has grown 2 inches in 2 months! Poor thing has probably been going through some crazy growing pains in addition to her teething pain. Good thing she's been getting ibuprofen off and on to help her sleep through it.

She's been out in the sun a ton; she LOVES the outdoors and any chance she gets she makes a bee-line for outside. She's developed quite a tan. And anything that has to do with water (bath, pool, garden hose, doggie water bowl) she is THERE.

As mentioned above, she loves her seats. Not just the rocking chair chair, but her Stroller, Carseat, high chair... and she gets VERY angry if you try to take her out of her chair before she is done. She just cries and cries at the end of walks with the strollers, but with her high chair we just dis attach it from the kitchen chair after dinner so she has it on the ground to sit in. So cute. We are for sure going to have to get her her own potty chair when we decide to potty train.

She also loves to walk Guinness on our walks. She looks soooo cute holding the leash with Guinness out walking in front of her. I'll have to get a picture or video of it.

I know Im missing stuff but Ive been trying to get this post up for like 2 weeks, so Im going to just put it up and then have to do another one soon with what I forgot...

Changes Every Day!

2010-07-07T15:51:00.000-07:00

Wow, at this stage they are changing every day! Aurora is now 14 months old (as of July 5th). We had a crazy weekend filled with friends and family events. Thursday dinner & games with friends, Friday dinner & games with friends, Saturday faux forth celebration BBQ at Nicole's house (more on that in a bit), Sunday forth up at Uncle Randy's Ranch, and Monday closing day at the fair! Phew, it was crazy.

Saturday was awesome; Nicole and Jason had great food, great drinks and great people over to just enjoy the day and have a good time. The kids were hilarious. Rory had her stunna glasses on, and Luke was eating watermelon like it was going out of style, and both of them ate their weight in baked cheetos. We took them on a big red cart ride, and we all played in the pool (at least until Rory was shivering and her lips were turning blue, then we warmed back up in the hot tub before taking another dip in the pool. The water must have been at least 75 too - man that kid needs to bulk up on some body fat.) Boston showed up later on and tried to keep things under control patrolling in Luke's cop car - it didnt work. Yummy grilled steak marinated in a coffee & chocolate rub and more delicious food, and later, finally fat and exhasted from our big day we gave in to sleep.....

And woke back up the next morning to start the whole process over up at Randy's... in his pool... with the family.... Keira and Rory playing in the sand.... beer pong contests... girl time... guy time.... and finally fireworks at 9am. To which Rory promptly lifted her head with a "huh? whats that?" and decided it wasn't worth the sleep she was missing so she passed out on my shoulder. And there she stayed for another hour, as Ryan proceeded to get wasted on some crazy fire drink that Blake decided to whip up and proclaim "I love you man!" to all the cousins. Him and Melinda had some special bonding time, and Ryan is now the keeper of this year's Halloween Costume secret. Not me, just Ryan. Guess I'll have to wait.

This week was not as tough getting back to work as I thought it would be and now its quitting time and Ryan and I are off next week. Fun plans, but dont have the time to explain now. Maybe next week I'll slip in an update.

First Word!

2010-06-29T15:19:00.000-07:00

Well even just the last few weeks Aurora's grown up! She out of nowhere last week started pointing all over the place, now she points at everything. We are still working on blowing kisses (she gets the kiss on the hand but hasn't quite grasped the blowing it away), and trying for bump it. Still hates brushing her teeth (or rather hates us doing it) but LOVES putting on a little chapstick afterward. And still that tooth has NOT come in! Its like taking forever!!!

But the BIGGEST news of the week was Aurora said her first (what I'm calling official) first word, and it was Dada. We got up this morning and she pointed at Ryan and said, clear as day, "Dada". Ryan was beaming and so excited. "Yes, I'm your Dada!" he told her. I love it!

We Skyped with my Mom last night and it was fun. Aurora didnt really know what to think but Im sure she'll get the hang of it after a few more times. And it will be great to Skype with her the week that my Mom is watching her in August for us. We will miss her but boy will it be nice to have a whole "Adult Week" to ourselves! Dinner out, stay up late, watch tv, go to a movie, we are going to be such rebels! lol. I think we will have to make it an annual event with Mopsey (My Mom).

Summer is Here, and Life Goes On...

2010-06-21T15:14:00.001-07:00

Life is good! Though busy, that’s for sure. Aurora is still working on that 6th tooth up top. She got a fever last weekend, along with the runny nose and cough that are always present about a week before the tooth comes through. In addition to her being super winey, lethargic and cuddly, and wanting her pacifier 24-7. It all magically went away this weekend, but still no tooth so I’m sure its coming soon.

Last weekend we went up to see Venissa, Joe and their new baby girl Addison. Andrew and Aurora were both more interested in playing with each other than checking out the new baby, but that allowed me time to hold the tiny sweetheart. I forget how small newborns are, and it shows me how much Aurora has grown, even though she is small for her age. I think Addie looks like her mama, but we will see; it’s always hard to tell this young! We also went to go hang out at Harb with my family, and Rory had fun with everyone, especially playing on top of the pool table with all the balls. I got a cute video of her dancing.

She’s really trying to talk now; she babbles in long “sentences” that have the same ebb and flow that conversation does, but it of course doesn’t make any sense. She will try to copy a word if you say it, and repeat it back to her. You wouldn’t be able to tell just hearing what she said, but hearing it with what you say it is clear she is trying to copy the word. Last night she was playing with her cousin Keira (2 ½ years old) and Keira was saying “daddy” and Aurora was saying “daddy” back to her and Keira was getting such a huge kick out of it, like she’s been waiting for this day forever. I love it.

She is getting much better at using a fork and spoon for things, although still needs a little guidance getting the food on it, she can put it in her mouth from there pretty easily. Makes a huge mess, but that’s the nature of the beast! We let her have at whatever food we eat, then when she’s done, we feed her her baby food (she doesn’t get enough of the big people food in her mouth to really fill her up before she gets bored feeding herself).

Watched Food Inc. recently and it made me sooo grossed out by how the food industry has developed to feed us. It makes me even more committed to eating and providing healthy food for my family, and buying as much organic, local, in season and natural food as possible. We will spend $50 on a pair of jeans for ourselves or a video game but not on healthier food for our families? We just have to re-prioritize.

Finally caught up around the house (for the most part) although I need the housecleaner to come again!

Will I Ever Get Caught Up?

2010-06-09T11:43:00.000-07:00

Memorial day weekend was amazing. We went to the Kings River with a large group of people. It started out as the Stoops (Ryan’s Aunt and Uncle) and a few of their rafting buddies and their families. Then everyone started inviting other friends and family over the years (us included) and the group has grown from 30-40 people the first 3 years we went to this year it was close to 70. That was a little bit much in my opinion; it felt really disjointed and I didn’t get to spend as much time with everyone I wanted to since we were so spread out. And there were a lot of people we didn’t know. BUT we had our own little baby brigade going, and that was awesome.

We had Aurora, then there was Laura & Marshall’s baby girl Hazel (who is 3 days younger than Aurora), and Marshall’s brother Marco & his wife Destiny with their son Cullen. We spent most of our time trying to keep them clean “enough” and keep them out of trouble, which is easy to find when you are camping. Hazel and Aurora finally got to meet each other which was great, since Laura and I had gotten so close over email the last 2 years as we were pregnant with the girls, delivered them and then this year leading up to the weekend. We threw them a mini bday party even though their 1yr old birthdays had already happened and both of us had thrown parties in our own hometowns for them.

Aurora didn’t eat enough, got too many snacks and junk food, but hey, that’s what special occasions are for right? Thanks daddy for her first Oreo, which she is now OBSESSED with.

Speaking of obsessions, Aurora is obsessed with any kind of water play. Im so glad that summer is near, and it will be hot enough for her to play out on our patio in the wonderful water table that Ashley’s mom got for her birthday. Its nice too cause I can watch her while in the kitchen cooking or cleaning and she can play out there. Still have yet to check out the kiddie pool in our complex but looking forward to it.

On to teeth; the other top middle tooth broke weeks ago, and the other side tooth is ready to break. Which sucks cause when she is teething she is restless and whines a lot at night. She gets a runny nose then a bad cough with it, and needs her pacifier all the time. Cant wait till those crazy molars break through (NOT) which I have heard are beasts. But we are brushing her teeth now, although I have to say its hard to remember to brush her teeth before putting her to bed cause it just has not been part of the routine. Im an old dog and its hard to learn new tricks! Lol. She doesn’t mind too much; just gets really frustrated for the 15 seconds I make her let me brush her teeth then is fine after I hand it over to her. She LOVES the vibration of the electronic toothbrush on her mouth.

Her communication abilities are pretty amazing now. She totally understands what we say, and can follow simple directions, loves helping. Every morning she enjoys taking her diaper and opening the diaper pail and putting her diaper in then closing it. Last night she was helping me pluck grapes off its vine and putting them in Tupperware. When she got bored with that she started feeding them to me one by one. Which actually was a faster process cause I could pluck them way faster than she could feed them to me. This morning she didn’t drink all of her bottle and I always reoffer her her bottle to make sure she isn’t just taking a break . So I asked her “Are you all done with your bottle? Do you want any more?” And she shook her head. But then a few minutes later she was dressed, time to go down stairs and I again offered her the bottle but this time the question was “Can you hold the bottle for Mommy while we walk down the stairs?” and she totally took it and held it. So shes not just interpreting the gestures and inferring the rest; because the gesture was the same, but the only thing different was the words, and she reacted differently.

She’s also walking all over the place now that she came back from camping, where everything was uneven and off road terrain. Back her with flat carpets and unmoving things on it, she can really book it! Its fun to have her run back and forth between two people.

She is using her fork better still needs help stabbing food. We got her her very own spoon and fork from Crate & Barrel. They are so cute! She loves them, even when shes not eating.

Here is the tired part though; she won’t sit still for 2 seconds!!! When she is awake, she is going non stop, and you better be ready to run after her. It’s exhausting and I don’t know how she has the energy to keep it up all day; its not like she eats enough to expend that much. She wont even sit still to watch tv. Other kids are mesmerized by tv shows and movies, but not her. She could care less and they don’t hold her attention for longer than a large bang sound.

So those are the updates on her. Im still trying to get caught up from the weekend at the river. Its tough! Finally downloaded all the photos and videos, but have not yet uploaded them all to my sites (FB, Picasa, etc). The house is a wreck and desperately needs a cleaning and this weekend we will be gone all weekend; Saturday we are celebrating my brother’s birthday at my Mom’s house, and on Sunday we get to see Venissa’s new baby girl Addison, who was born on May 31st. But, as a “seasoned mom” now, I realize that a clean house and getting all your chores done and your to-do-list under 30 items is WAY over rated.

Our Little Peanut

2010-05-17T10:08:00.000-07:00

Our little peanut, while growing slowly in size, is none-the-less growing up. It's really amazing that so much has happened and changed in our lives in the last year. I feel like the last year has been the most important and exciting of my life. I know my life is richer and more meaningful than ever before, thats for sure.

Aurora had her 1 yr old apt on Friday. I brought my Mom along for company, and she was going crazy and just about had a panic attack when they wanted to give Rory 6 shots that day. I opted to hold off on one of them for her next apt. My Mom said she would never have given us ANY shots if she could do it over. I just shook my head. Not even going to go there with her! Rory screamed this sad terrified and painful cry the whole time they were shooting her up, as tears streamed down her face and the sobs kept getting stuck in her throat. Poor girl all I wanted to do was cuddle her and tell her it would be ok. She did calm down ok and was fine after that. Besides a very slight fever and wanting to sleep ALOT the next few days she was fine.

She has gained about 2lbs since the 9 month old apt, which is something! Here is how she ranks now:
They said she is doing just fine and they are not worried about her growth at all, since she is tracking on the growth curve as she should.

Shes getting much better at walking now, though its still slow going. She loves walking about 5 steps to you and is so proud when she finally gets to you!

She is wanting to feed herself now, and we let her practice with her own spoon and fork. Shes not great at it yet, but for sure gets the jist of the movements, just not quite fine tuned enough to really get there. Mostly she dips the spoon in things then sucks on it, and with the fork, she picks up a piece of food with one hand, and then stabs it with the fork in the other, then either bites the food off the fork, or takes it back off and eats it with her hand. Its hilarious.

She is playing so much with everything now, its so much fun. And its great that shes more interactive with the other kids now too. We spent almost all day with Ashley, Dylan and Boston on Saturday, and it was a blast. We went to the Tierrastanta Parade, and saw most everyone else we knew in the complex there too, then Ashley and I went to the fair to hang out while the boys took the kids home, we grilled dogs for lunch, hung out in our back yard with the kids playing with the water table Boston's Gma Mimi got her for her b-day, and then that night went to see Rain the Beatles Tribute downtown. It was one of the best days Ive had in a long time. Then yesterday we went to hang with friends we have not seen in a long time and it was awesome.

Her 4th tooth finally broke about a week ago; it was the canine next to the top tooth she already has. But the other top middle and canine are on their way too, so she wont be lopsided for long. Its so nice to have teeth for her, going without them for so long you realize how much teeth really help them eat big people food. Although we have to get her used to brushing now. Good thing she loves the toothbrush, bad thing she only wants to suck on it and not actually brush with it. lol.

She loves all stuffed animals. Skye and Althea got her a super soft pillow that also velcros up into a stuffed ladybug, and she LOVES it. She will give "loves" to just about anything, but is especially happy to oblige for anything soft.

Oh goodness shes just the best! I cant wait for memorial day weekend, its going to be good times with friends and family, and just rest and relaxation. Ahhhhhh long overdue.

Aurora's 1st Birthday

2010-05-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

Click on the Picture for the Picasa Folder of all the pictures from Aurora's 1st Bday.

Super Cute Clothes

2010-05-05T13:29:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah and I forgot to mention all the adorable clothes she got for her birthday. Added to all the ones she got from her showers and this girl is going to be one well dressed sista! Shes in 6 month stuff now, but I cant wait till she's in her 9 and 12 month old stuff, cause there is too much cute stuff!

Oh yeah, and slight rant here, why the heck is it that the CUTEST stuff starts at 12 month? Like all the cute jeans and shorts mostly. It is so annoying. At this rate, Aurora will be 2 before she is in any of that.

Aurora is One!

2010-05-05T08:25:00.000-07:00

Today Aurora is one! Wow, crazy. Hard to believe that a year ago right now I was just getting into the craziest part of labor and in just a few short hours I would be holding my precious baby girl in my arms for the first time ever. Its been an amazing journey, and I am sooo looking forward to the rest of our life!

Aurora is finally walking like a big girl. She is still really shakey (hello Frankenstein), takes little steps staggering from side to side, and falls often. But she is getting better, and Im sure will be running across the room before we know it!

We started milk too. :0) No more formula, she seems to like milk just fine, and will drink the full 4 oz if you heat it up (that much cold milk is too much for her all at once), and she does like to sip cold milk from her sippy cup. We have decided to buy organic milk for her. After reading what the experts are saying, if you are going to buy organic, meat and milk are your best place to spend the money because of all the awful pesticides in the food the cows eat, compounded with the hormones that they are given, etc. You can really tell the difference too; the meat tastes way better, and the milk crisper and creamier. It really breaks the bank, but you cant put a price on the health and well being of your children. And to be honest, I think that in the years to come, they are going to find that things like Autism has more do do with pesticides and hormones in our food than vaccinations do.

Hopefully we can get her to drink the recommended 16-24 oz of milk a day, because she was only taking 8 oz total of formula a day, plus another 6 oz in her morning cereal.

Wow, Big Girl is Almost 1!

2010-05-03T09:41:00.001-07:00

Well it's been a while and our life is crazier than ever.

Aurora is still not walking full on; shes really taking her time with this. After her first steps a month ago, she still is only taking up to about 5 steps at a time, in areas she feels comfortable. Which means her shoes are getting all torn up going between walking and crawling all the time. *Sigh*. Thank goodness for Walmart $8 shoes.

We now have 3 teeth total, both bottom and one middle on top. The other 3 up top are bulging and ready to join the others soon. Its so nice she can actually take "bites" of food now with teeth. Its really helped what food she can eat, and that we can share with her now she can take bites of our food. She is good eating off of spoon and fork of ours, but sometimes really would like to do it herself, even though she doesnt have the dexterity to.

She has been a total champ though the teething process though, and besides just being a little fussy and drooly chewing on stuff, shes been good. We have been giving her the Tylenol, orajel and (due to the post nasel drip at night) expectorant for that bad cough. We will see what the doc says at her 1 yr apt on the 14th if she still has that cough. We felt awful on Sat at at work event one of our female pharmacists could feel the congestion in her chest just from holding her.

She is so interactive now though, shes a blast. She loves peek-a-boo, and likes to do the hiding and the peeking herself. She will hold up a sheet, paper towel, etc then back down with a big grin. Another favorite is peeking around corners of furniture or walls.

She has so much fun with her high fives, low fives, head butts, waving, clapping and dancing. She is such a big girl! Still not a ton of talking (just the same babbles) but if you spend anytime with her you do notice she tries to copy what you say every once in a while. You will say something, then are startled when it sounds like she said the exact same thing you just did!

We were lucky to get some of Ryan's old toys and books from when he was a little kid, as Cheryl recently cleaned out her attic, which was mostly full of all Blake and Ryan's childhood stuff. Shes having a blast with all her fun stuff. In the house, we finished putting in the new flooring, and the baseboards, and got some new shelving units for the new "play room". I cant tell you how nice it is to have real floors, and have clear defined spaces and things put away in their place, instead of a constant construction zone with everything out and everywhere. We still have a lot to do but at least we are making headway and each week our house is more organized than it was the previous week. A little at a time is what you gotta do to make it happen!

This weekend was a HUGE weekend. Saturday was Venissa's shower up in Temecula area (shes having a little girl, who will be named Addison!) Thanks to my Mom who joined me for the long drive up (long drives with no one to talk to + Loralyn = asleep at the wheel) and to help me take care of Aurora so I could visit with that group that I hardly ever get to see anymore. Then we had to book it back down to SD after a few hours up there to get set up for a big work event at my Dean's house that he has every year for some of the staff, the faculty, 3rd & 4th year students and alumni. This was my first year planning and attending the event. It turned out great, but it was a long day for all of us, esp Aurora, considering her birthday party was the next day!

So then the big day was yesterday, and it was great! Our best friends and family came out to celebrate with us, everyone pitched in and helped out a ton, and it was just wonderful. I cant wait to see the pictures that Pam took for the event. Aurora looked so cute in her little sunflower dress, and had too much fun with her cake, esp when all her friends joined in. (Kiera was first, then Boston then Luke. We had all the kids up there sharing this pink Sleeping Beauty cake!!!) But my favorite moment of the day was when Luke had his bottle out, and he left it to go play on the other side of the blanket with something else. Aurora reached down, got the bottle and walked it all the way over to where he was and gave it to him! What a sweet little helper. It doesnt surprise me though; our wonderful sitter Diane has 2 infant babies as well as Aurora and apparently Aurora helps with them all the time; gives them their pacifiers, rocks them in their infant seats, etc. Soooo cute! Boy is she going to come in handy with the next kid.

Anyway, by the end of the day, packing everything up for a huge picnic to the park then packing back up and to our house, plus all the gifts (that we still have yet to open!), our house is a mess, and we are exhausted but so happy and blessed. Now on to Mother's Day events, and after that Memorial Day weekend at the King's River. Cant wait for that, its going to be so much fun!!!

We Have Teeth!!!

2010-04-08T12:03:00.001-07:00

What a week! Tuesday Rory cut her first tooth. So after that fever she got last week and her first steps, what a surprise! I’m wondering now if the fever was a pre-curser to the tooth. Cheryl said that Ryan got a high fever each time before his teeth. So we will watch for that fever again and it might indicate another tooth is on the way. Anyway, so Tuesday morning Aurora woke up fussier than I have ever seen her – for no apparent reason. Normally she is so happy to wake up and we do stretches and change her diaper, get into her clothes, and off to Diane’s. But this particular morning she was crying and fussy and was very unhappy. She was still winy if you held her and watch out if you set her down for a second.

Well Diane said she was a little grumpy that day too, and we picked her up, and Ryan fed her dinner. Melinda was over because Nathan was out of town this week for work, and just as Ryan finished feeding Aurora dinner and was cleaning her up in her high chair, he started jumping all around the kitchen yelling “I found a tooth, I found a tooth!” I was like, what? Are you serious? Get out! But no, there it was, the middle-right tooth on the bottom poking through! She was much happier after it cut through her gums and has been a happy camper since then. Although, she does bite too hard once in a while on something and I think hurts her gums up top or her cheeks on the side.

Ryan put in the pull up bar in the living room last night so I’m excited to soon start my new program.

Family Updates...

2010-04-02T15:25:00.001-07:00

Aurora is almost 11 months old! And 4 days before turning 11 months old (yesterday to be exact), she took her first steps! YOU GO GIRL! It was so cute. She was so tentative about it, like she was thinking “Im going to try something, but Im not quite sure how this is going to end up…” my friend Alyssa was there to witness it, and so was Ryan. We even got a few of the after steps on video. Now this is no where near walking, that will probably come in the upcoming weeks, but its so exciting none the less. So she stood on her own for the first time at exactly 10 months, and now walking at 11. :0)

Other than that, she can wear all 6 month old clothing now. All of her smaller sized shirts and dresses though still fit her small frame. (It’s mostly her jammies that she grows out of quickly since she is of average height she gets too tall for things with feet on them). Some of my favorite shirts to go with jeans were actually little dress/shirts that went with little bloomers and are newborn size! But they look so darn cute as shirts with her little jeans. I’m so excited to dress her for the upcoming events of Easter, her birthday then Mother’s Day. I’m actually stoked that she is standing and will be walking for them, since it makes the dresses all the cuter when she is standing like a little lady in them.

She loves eating the same food as us, and as long as we have food on our plates and are eating, she will take bites from us. STILL NO TEETH! I’m so annoyed because she soo wants to be eating more grown up food but doesn’t have any teeth to assist her. And there are none in sight either. I am beginning to wonder if she even has any teeth under those gums! Lol. She did get a fever this week though. Monday I went to pick her up from Diane’s and she had a fever of 102. I stayed home with her in the morning since Ryan had an inspection and then he came back after noon and took over. She was such a sweetie; didn’t whine or cry at all, just slept a lot and wanted to cuddle. It finally broke on Wed and she went back to Diane’s on Thursday. But she now has a cough and a really congested nose. Poor dear. Hope she is fully better for Sunday. So she has had a total of 3 colds and this one fever by her 11th month birthday.

Her desire to communicate is growing too. There have been many times that I swear she says something. I’m sure it is just a coincidence but one thing is for sure; she is babbling like crazy and she thinks she is saying something important. Her sounds are so cute too. She does a “deedle deedle” where she sticks her tongue in and out, and of course her “bobble bobble” where she does a sound like an Indian but with the back of her hand, she claps, she does high five, and she does a “dance dance dance” where she shimmies her shoulders up and down alternating them, and its so freaking cute. We have a few instances of it on video and I really want Ryan to put them into a video montage of it. I might get desperate enough to learn the editing software for myself.

Today my step-dad, mom and Ryan are all home putting in our new wood flooring in the living room, hall and den. Im soooo excited to finally have this project done! I didn’t mind the concrete for a long time but at a certain point, you just want real flooring! More for Aurora than anything else. I cant wait to get it in and pick out some nice area rugs. I love you honey, you are the best! And special thanks to Wayne and my mom, who we couldn’t have done any of it without your help!

And I ordered the P90X program… I’m committed to get ripped in 90 days. And it coincides with the biggest loser challenge that me and some other co-workers are doing. Im going to do a separate blog about it and do nasty muffin top photos in my pair of skinny jeans (as in jeans that I used to be able to fit in when I was skinny, NOT the new style of jeans with tapered legs that make everyone look like a cow), the whole bit. If I fail, I will do it in front of all my friends and family. Good motivation, I think.

OH and my bestest friend from college, Venissa is having a girl! Her shower is the day before Aurora’s bday party and Im so stoked. Little girl stuff is too much fun! She’s scheduled for a C-section at the end of May so our little girls will both be May babies together. AWWWWWW.

Ok that’s it for now! Sorry I’m so MIA on here, life happens…

Wow, New Stuff Already?

2010-03-04T10:42:00.000-08:00

Aurora is now waving... at everything. Including the plants, windows, pretty much everything. And when she really gets into it, she does it with both arms. Like special things need a special super duper double wave.

She stood unassisted all by her self for a few seconds (multiple times) last night. Funny part is, she seems a little unsure about it, like "Im not so sure I should be doing this, what is going on here???" Funny because she doesnt seem to have those same thoughts about chewing on the freezer electrical cord, or eating Guinness's dog food.

Maybe its just my mother's ear, but it really seems like when I talk to her, and try to work on words with her, she *tries* to repeat them back to me. Could just be my imagination though. Last night I was dreaming about doing work... and was sad when I got to work and realized it wasnt actually done.

I think Im going to have to get Skype for my Mom. Yes, the same Mom who only lives 30 min away. Why might you ask? Because every day I currently have to listen to, "do you think she is even going to remember who I am???" since we only see my Mom once a week. And if we can't see her one week.... well from her reaction you would think that she lived across the US and had missed every important milestone that Aurora has reached from birth to 2 years old. It's all in good fun though - I love you Mom - it shows how much you care.

Family Changes...

2010-02-23T08:14:00.000-08:00

Well getting my period today coincides nicely with going back on birth control, which I got in the mail this week. Since I am done breastfeeding and we wont be trying to get pregnant again until the summer/fall, I wanted to go back on birth control – my periods are WAY heavier now post baby and off of bc then they used to be. So Im hoping they will be a little more manageable now when I start bc again. (Although I cant complain, my “heavy” is still most women’s light days. Some of you may want to shoot me for calling 4 tampons a day heavy.)
Speaking of heavy, a not so fun side effect of not breastfeeding anymore; gaining weight! I was doing really well and was back down to 142 at the tail end of breastfeeding, then when I stopped I crept back up to a high of 147 again. I’ve been watching it the last week or so and am down to 144 but clearly I need to be more careful. Besides, I want to get down again for the summer, and stay there before I get pregnant again. Its not really ok with me to be heavier starting this pregnancy than I was the last one; it would be way to easy to just keep gaining a few pounds here and there between these things and never really loose it before the next event, and before you know it, Im 175 lbs! I do exercise when I can (Ryan and I take walks and I try to go jogging once a week), but it’s so hard when all you want to do is spend time with your little one!

So the reason that we decided to try again this summer/fall is a long story. It shouldn’t be, but it is. Well, originally we wanted to have as many kids as we could afford. Hopefully 3. Stretch goal of 4. Minimum of 2. And we had thought that 3 years apart was just about right; not too much time between them that they couldn’t relate to each other, and that my eggs dried up, but any less time between them they might compete and might not be enough recoup time for us between kids. Well then we realized we would be spitting kids out for the better part of a decade. That’s a little overwhelming. Then we realized that the limiting factor for getting on to the next stage in our lives (after the whole child having stage) to be able to actually do stuff with them was when we had the final kid, and that kid finally was in school. (Finances freed up from childcare, expected career development and raises on our part, etc.) sooooooooo we finally came to the conclusion that it would be better to space them out more like 2 years apart. All the advantages of having them closer together but still far enough apart that it wouldn’t be overwhelming.

Then came the discussion of how many to have. We have known for some time time that if we had more than 2 kids it would be a serious financial strain, and the biggest factor was housing. Our current place really only comfortably can fit a family with two kids, and preferably of the same sex so they can share the 2nd bedroom comfortably. (The 3rd bedroom downstairs really isn’t a viable bedroom). And we knew that we couldn’t afford a bigger house anytime in the next decade. We realized that we would rather be able to do all (or most) of the amazing things we wanted with our kids (travel, etc.) if we just stopped at two, and were able to stay in our current house. Since we have come to terms with this, we both feel better and more comfortable with the future of our family. YEA!
Sooooo, back to the storyline, we will be trying again this fall, to get them spaced out about 2 years.

Aurora is having tons of fun playing with more things, “talking” up a storm and has turned into a one woman band with all the fun noises she makes. She loves to run the back of her hand over her mouth and make the “bibble bobble” sound as we call it, run her “motorboat” mouth, and cluck like a chicken. Recently she started sharing her pacifier with me too; if I ask her to share it and open my mouth, she’ll take it out of hers and put it in mine… for like a second before popping it back out and back to her – patience isn’t a strong suit for kids that young. She has traded in her favorite word of “daddy” for all these sounds, but we are working on some basic baby sign language and some words too. (Like “again” to repeat a fun game or movement that she likes). She hasn’t quite mastered the wave for hello and goodbye but we are working on that too! We also need to work on “kisses” since she thinks that means open your mouth as wide as you can and see what flavors you can suck off of the other person’s mouth. It would be gross coming from anyone but Aurora. lol

She has one cupboard that she is allowed in, with all the plastic and metal kitchen stuff, and she loves taking everything out and playing with it while I’m cooking and cleaning. Still no walking yet; she’s great at crawling and cruising and seems to be very content at this stage. (Compared to her friend Luke who just came up, literally, out of nowhere and is now walking!)

At nearly 10 months, still no teeth! I’m beginning to doubt she even has any of them underneath those deliciously pink gums. But I still practice brushing my teeth with her. She gets to suck on and hold her toothbrush while I do mine, and I let her have a little taste of the minty freshness, which she loves.

She is finally fitting well in all of her 6 month old clothing. (Although many clothes that don’t have a height limitation - like her jammies - still fit; she still has shirts that are newborn size that fit her perfect with jeans now.) We just bought her easter dress, so cute; white with little sunflowers all over it!

The Beginning of the End

2010-01-21T10:51:00.000-08:00

1/19/10: I didn’t have enough milk for Aurora’s early morning feeding, and had to go get her 2oz of formula to top her off. So I skipped the pumping that night, in hopes that I would build up enough milk for the next morning.
1/20/10: I had enough milk for Aurora, but was sad that it took over 14 hours to build it up. Did NOT take my pump to work, since I knew at this level of production I wouldn’t need to pump. Decided to try to breast feed Aurora for her bedtime feeding, which is normally a bottle. (She is best about breastfeeding when A. I have enough milk, B. When its time to sleep; night and early morning, and C. When I do it in her room, with the lights out in the rocking chair.) Wasn’t as through of a feeding as I would have liked, but at least she did it. Didn’t pump afterward.
1/21/10: Seemed to have enough this morning too. So my new schedule is no pumping, breastfeed for the early morning feeding, formula (and all her yummy food) during the day, and a breastfeeding at night to send her to sleepyland. We will see how long she is good about feeding for those two times, and how well my production holds up for that.

On a related note, she LOVES food! My favorite so far is fish with carrot and cheese sauce. It is so good I would eat it, and she really enjoys it. It has been great to get all these awesome ideas and recipes from Top 100 Baby Purees (Thanks Lisa!!!) because I would never think of all of them on my own. She is also a huge sweet potato fan, and of course her old classic stand by, cereal with fruit. She is really good with her finger foods, (Cheerios, crusty bread, etc.) She has a strange upset tummy with random things though. She ate a cracker over the holidays and threw it up later, then this last weekend we were out to dinner and they had fresh made flour tortillas (not whole grain but I thought it would be fine, just flour and water, right?) WRONG, she threw up exorcist style. I had a fun time trying to clean her and her chair up in the women’s restroom of the restaurant at the same time. She is now eating a full 3 times a day, or 4-5 if they are small meals. A full meal is normally 3 cubes of food, 2 heaping tablespoons of cereal mixed with 2 oz of formula and about 3oz of milk or formula to wash it down. Wow! I have a good video of eating but it needs some “super soldier” editing first. ;0)

She is also loving cruising around, and wants to walk. She isn’t trying to walk on her own yet; realizes that to get from point A to B she will still go back to the floor to crawl, but she has a blast pulling herself up on everything she can to make herself a big tall girl. After seeing how much she loved a rolling walker that Boston let her try out at the park a week back, we bought one of our own. It’s so cute; a Disney princess “car” that also has a nice handle on the back, so she can use it as a walker or sit on it and have us push her which she loves too. I don’t think she is going to make my prediction of walking by 9 months (which is in 2 weeks) but I do think she will be right on track for what I was; sometime in the 10th month.

She tries to get into everything now, plays with everything, but knows the word “no” and does listen to us when we say it seriously with force. Sometimes she gets sensitive and starts to cry, but usually she just takes it with a grain of salt and finds something else to do. We are so lucky!

She also got her first taste of cake. Boy oh boy does she love it. We got to go to an AWESOME 1st B-day party of Mr. Boston Bruce, and Ashley put the cake down on the ground outside for easy access to all the kids (what a great idea!). We held Aurora back for a little bit but she REALLY wanted to be a part of the action, so we let her go for it. This is what transpired:

Boston digs in...

The other kids just can't hold back

Aurora's first taste of cake...

Look at the cake, mom!

Look at this mess, seriously!

Evidence of the crime scene.... the tracks that the criminal left.

Into EVERYTHING

2010-01-06T08:44:00.000-08:00

Well, our days of cute cuddly little Aurora are done. Welcome to the days of "No!" and "Not for you!", bumps, bruises, and frustrated babies. If we were not sure before, Aurora is officially my baby. She wants to be a part of everything, has the patience of... well an 8 month old (and if she takes after me that number will not grow with her age), and is so easily frustrated at everything that she CANT do that her squeals of dissatisfaction have prompted calls from the neighbors to CPS – well no, not quite, but that is a growing fear of mine.

She is not a happy camper when:
- She can’t walk
- She can’t be at your level
- She can’t chew Guinness’s chew toys
- You won’t give her your pretties (jewelry)
- We don’t have her food ready the second she decides she is hungry
- We don’t feed her fast enough
- I don’t have as much milk in my jugs as she wants (yea formula)
- Her legs get stuck up in her sleepers since her legs are so skinny they don’t stay down in the legs
- She has to stay still to get dressed

She is happy when:
- She is sleeping
- She is nursing (well) or drinking her bottle or eating
- She is playing with her favorite toy while sucking her favorite passy
- You are playing peek-a-boo with her
- You are tickling her

She is moving all over the place and won’t sit still for one single second. She is either up and moving, or down and sleeping. Nothing in between. No happy content baby to just sit and play quietly. She tries to commit suicide every other minute in a myriad of ways; chewing on electrical cords, diving off chairs and couches, jumping out of your arms, trying to walk even though she clearly doesn’t have the balance or dexterity for it yet… Every time she does one of these things, Ryan gives me the look. The look says, “that is your daughter, and she is acting just like you.” I’m waiting for the busted lips and black eyes. At least the damage is limited, for the time being, seeing as how she is so short; hence close to the ground. *Sigh* We are in for it.

Nearly 8 Months!!!

2009-12-30T10:15:00.000-08:00

Christmas wrap-up; Wednesday was my last day of work for the week, and we got home and went over to the Rubin’s for a cocktail party for our cousins Meg and Justin, who had just come in town for the holidays. It was great to see them again, and to get the holiday festivities started. I was a little worried about how Aurora would do with the first of 3 evenings out, when she usually goes to bed so early (between 6-8pm) but she did fine.

Christmas Eve day I spent at home, trying to get ready for the upcoming days. Ryan had to go in to work, but came home early to catch a nap, since both of us had come down with a bad cold, just in time for the holidays! Luckily Aurora didn’t get sick at all, probably because of the antibodies in my breastmilk for the same sickness we were fighting – Go breastfeeding!!! My Mom came over to help clean up, make my potluck dishes and hang out, then later that afternoon we headed up to Ramona to spend Christmas Eve with Cheryl’s side of the family. Aurora did great, and had no problem with her first Santa encounter.

The next day was crazy; Christmas morning till 10:30 at Cheryl’s house, then over to my Mom’s house till 3pm and over to the Rubin’s for the rest of the day.

Then over to the Stoops on Saturday for after Christmas brunch and to meet Kimmy’s new beau, (who is a TOTAL doll).

We were planning on driving up to Huntington Beach on Sunday to visit my Aunt Tina and her family but she got pretty sick so we decided to put it off till sometime next month. Good thing too, because we were exhausted and the house was an absolute disaster! My Mom came over to help with Aurora and clean up and finally the house is back in order.

I’m pretty sure that Aurora is teething. She has been randomly fussy for no reason, (SCREAMING her head off, like she has never done before) then a while later is fine. She didn’t want to go to bed last night, even though she was clearly exhausted for hours. Finally I just took her into our room and let her hang out on the bed with me and Ryan while he read a book and she and I just laid there until we both got sleepy and I put her to bed. She woke up at midnight and again at 5am crying and wanting to nurse. We will see how today goes. Quick Happy Birthday to Keira, who is 2 today.

She eats a ton and LOVES her food. I am making more interesting foods and she is a fan. Her fav is sweet potatoes and onion with cumin. I have to admit it tastes pretty good! I made a creamy pea batch with mango and garlic and she likes that too. Old standby is cooked apples with banana and cinnamon. Can’t wait till she gets her teeth and she can eat more finger foods, because she is wanting to, just cant yet. (I can wait for the fussiness that goes with teething though). It’s crazy because her friend Hazel already has 4 teeth.

Other than that she is an active baby, getting into everything and pulling herself up on anything she can grasp. She is very much like Ryan though; when you get mad and tell her “no” she gets very upset and starts crying. I feel awful so I don’t do that often. Luckily she is really good and doesn’t get into bad stuff very much – yet.

Some stuff she is already mastering for her age: pulling herself up to stand and cruising, picking things up with her thumb and finger, banging things together, coordinated crawling, wanting to drink from a sippy cup… but hasn’t gotten other things yet like waving goodbye or pointing to things. Saying “mama” and “dada” much more, which makes us happy, but still doesn’t realize what she is saying.

Now on to breastfeeding. I will first say that before having Aurora, I considered breastfeeding to be a simple choice, (to borrow a phrase from a friend), like disposable vs. cloth diapers. After being a working mom now for 5 months, and pumping up to 8 times a day, taking fenugreek and trying to breastfeed whenever possible to keep up production, I can attest that its not that simple. I do still believe that anyone who wants to breastfeed (or provide breastmilk) can. The question is how dedicated you are, and how much time and effort you have in you to put into making it happen. At some point, the cost is not worth the benefits of providing that to your child. And that cost/benefit ratio is different for every mom, and every mom has their breaking point.

I was lucky that Aurora breastfed really well from the beginning, and that I didn’t have any issues in those first 3 months where breastfeeding was getting established. When I went back to work it got a little more complicated. Aurora got used to the bottle and didn’t want to bf if I didn’t have plenty of milk. When I went back to work, the only time that I could bf her was in the morning and at night. The night time one was a problem, since that was the feeding we had chosen to get her used to the bottle before I went back to work, since Ryan could do it and bond with her too. So when I did go back, suddenly I wanted to breastfeed her at night again, and for most of her life she was used to Daddy doing a bottle feeding instead. So basically I was left only being able to do one breastfeeding a day (in the morning) and having to pump throughout the day and evening for the rest of it. THANK God I have an amazing and supportive boss who gave me a place to pump and the flexibility in my schedule to do it when I need to.

Anyway, anyone who has done the research will tell you that pumping does not stimulate your milk production the same way that a baby does, and without the baby to jump start your production on the turn of a dime, you have to rely on pumping every 2 hours and fenugreek to bring it back up. It is hard work. And sometimes you just cant pump every 2 hours! Its all of the work and then some of the bottles and storage, and none of the convenience of breastfeeding. And eventually, if you don’t have any baby stimulation, your body will probably decrease production and it will dwindle away. And forget unexpected things that decrease your production; stress, getting sick, not being able to pump consistently for a day or two due to whatever, etc.

Well I made it this far (almost 8 months). I was hoping to make it to a full year, but that is not going to happen. We have needed to supplement with formula here and there when my production goes down anyway and there is now more of that. I’m still hoping to produce until a year, but we will see. Recently my production dropped, and I tried to get it back up with no avail. And with all the holiday stuff going on it was impossible to pump every 2 hours, so I just decided I was done with it! THEN Aurora was really good about feeding and brought some of my production back up. So Im providing about 10-14 oz a day of breastmilk for her, and she drinks about 18-24 oz a day, so she is still getting over half of her intake as breastmilk. My decision for here on out is to NOT stress about it. I will try to breastfeed when I can, pump when I can, produce as much as my body does, but I will not obsess about taking the fenugreek and pumping every 2 hours, monitoring my daily production like a dairy farmer. Since I decided this, I have been so much happier! A weight has been lifted from my shoulders! And I have to say that I have the most wonderful and supportive husband, who is behind me 100%.

I have learned A LOT on this first go, and hopefully things will be easier and I will be more successful with our next child. But if I am not, that will be ok too, because Aurora has taught me to be easier on myself. I’m a good and loving mom, and my children will be raised well, with the best that Ryan and I have to offer.

7 Months Old... and Counting!!!

2009-12-16T11:35:00.000-08:00

I don’t know how Aurora manages to develop so quickly but I feel like every time I turn around she is doing something new. Less than 2 months ago she couldn’t get around much by herself… then we propped her up and she was able to sit up on her own. Then she began to catch herself when she would start to fall instead of falling face first into the ground. From that position she learned to fall forward into a crawling position, and began to (with great effort) crawl forward a few feet. After getting the crawling down in a more coordinated movement, she surprised us by pushing back into a sitting position. And now, just this week, can pull herself up along something sturdy to standing position! I think we are in trouble and she’s going to be walking within the next 2 months for sure, maybe less. At least she will still be too short to reach most things.

We are finally growing out of some of the 3-6 month old stuff, and going into the straight 6 month stuff (which is just a little too big for her) and trying to find as much cold weather clothes for her since she is her daddy’s girl; cold all the time and needs to bundle up like she’s camping in Patagonia! Fleece sleepers, socks or tights, pants and long sleeve onsies are our best friends these days. She is for sure taller than she is wide so the length of her clothes is what she grows out of first.

She generally seems to be a bigger fan of the airy/breathy sounds your mouth can make than the sounds that your lips make. She is finally “talking” a little more though, thank goodness. This whole time she has mostly just made cooing noises, no “mama”, “baba” or “gaga” sounds for her. So she is finally exploring with some of those other sounds.

Very excited about her first Christmas. We got our tree up 2 weekends ago, and it’s sooo pretty! I love all the decorations and already have some gifts wrapped under the tree. We have already learned the “no” word; thankfully she is impressionable and heeds our requests instead of ignoring them. Although she can’t touch, she LOVES the lights, ornaments, and the wrapped presents. She loves paper and so I give her a piece of the wrapping paper to play with. I think she likes the crinkle noises it makes.

We got our Xmas letter out this week, YEA, right on time. We decided to do a huge 4 page letter since this was such a momentous year, and used lots of pics instead of just doing one photo card and a 1 page letter. So any of you who don’t get one by Monday and want to get added to our distribution list, send me your address!

Oh yea and one more thing! She is finally truly sleeping all the way through the night. From 7pm to 6am the next morning, Ryan and I have uninterrupted “us” time. We normally go on a double duty cleaning frenzy, catch up with our shows/movies, or do a project together (like Xmas cards) in those precious hours after she goes to bed and before we do.

6th Month Appointment

2009-11-09T15:06:00.000-08:00

Well Aurora had her 6 month appointment. It went well, and she is a happy healthy girl, if not super tiny! She is still in the <3 percentile (hovering just off of the bottom of the charts) for weight, and is 10-25th percentile for head circumference and height. They are not very concerned, since she is maintaining the same arc and is gaining at a consist ant rate. Ryan said they said, "Slow but steady" and that reminded him of me.... turtle, turtle! They gave her her vaccinations, and the regular flu shot, but only were giving the H1N1 to high risk - high risk groups. (So being a baby wasnt enough, you had to be a baby with heart disease or leukemia, etc.) So we will just have to forgo and hope that it doesnt come around to our part of town!

She is getting so good at sitting up on her own now. She can sit up on her own for minutes at a time, back straight - until something causes her to loose her balance then she still falls over, not being able to catch herself yet. She can even sit up without the aid of her hands for stability for short periods of time.

She loves to eat but we still struggle to make sure she drinks enough milk to stay hydrated! At least I'm producing enough at this point. We have not had to give her formula for a few weeks now.

On another note, I am almost back down to pre-baby weight! A bad weekend really sets me back, but somehow I am managing to get back ahead of it during the work week by eating healthy and running twice a week. Just in time too, because I have had some events at work that required a nice suit, which I have not fit for about a year now!

Well, thats all I can think of for now...

6 months already? What's next... sweet 16???

2009-10-28T10:24:00.000-07:00

Where does time go? I just realized its been over a month since my last blog entry, and after reading it, WOW has so much changed!!!

Well I’m still pumping away. I had a little stressful period a few weeks ago and my production decreased by 50% - that was really bad. But I got it back up. We have had to supplement with a bottle of formula here and there, mostly depending on how much she is drinking, since my production is pretty much consistent. She is only waking up once now, between 3:30 and 5, for a feeding and sometimes takes both sides, sometimes only one, and tops off at 6 before I pump. Same work pumping schedule (9, 12, 3) and then when I get home pumping at 6 and 9. I have been breast feeding on the weekend, and she is fine with it, so that’s GREAT.

She has been eating the basic 4 for a while now; Apples, Pears, Bananas, Rice Cereal. We have tried Avocado 4 times now, which she HATES. She scrunches up her nose and squishes it around without swallowing like she is eating something really gross. Well they say it takes up to 10 times to like a new food right? She loves Sweet Potatoes too (thanks to Nicole for sharing her batch with me). She is eating so much too! Diane (our sitter) is feeding her 5 tablespoons of rice cereal and 2 cubes of food for breakfast every day. No wonder she isn’t as hungry for us in the evenings. Still drinking 20-28oz of milk a day. My guess is she is close to 12 lbs, so we will see at her 6 month appointment, on 11/6.

It is amazing how active she is now. We did end up getting the rainforest jumperoo, and she thinks it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread. She loves playing, but mostly sucking on her soft toys, especially her stuffed frog with the bee in the middle. She rolls over comfortably both ways now, and is even starting the army crawl. She gets frustrated when she can’t quite move to where she wants, and voices her frustration at her current situation by arching her back and whining. She can sit up too! (Not on her own, but can stay if propped up)

And miss giggles:

A few miscellaneous things… we moved up to the 6 month old pacifiers some time back, move to size 2 diapers, got a sippy cup for water which she is having fun practicing with (AKA beating her head with), moving into 6 month old sleepers (since her legs are so long she doesn’t fit in her 0-3 too well anymore). She loves watching me brush my teeth so I give her her own to hold while I brush, and I put a little fleck of the toothpaste on her lips so she can associate the taste with brushing. No teeth yet though! Definitely not “talking” yet, just lots of elongated “ahhhhhh”s and “ehhhhhhh”s.

We changed our Halloween costumes after Party City not having the baby bunny one in her size in stock. She is now going to be a flower (green sleeper with a flower hoodie), I’m mother nature, and Ryan is a gardener. Although we did find a tiny set of fairy wings in a store the other day that just about made me cry they were so cute. They were like $30 though so there was no way… I am REALLY looking forward to our Halloween Party on Sat; it’s the one big party of the year that we go all out for and everyone has a great time. And this year with all the little babes dressed up, its going to be the best! We will have to get a group pic of the kids: Rory, Luke, Boston, Keira… am I missing anyone???

Happy day though, I am almost back down to pre-prego weight! Wahoooooo! It’s so nice to be able to fit in most of my old cloths again. Although my body has for sure changed shape and there are some things I don’t think I will be able to wear again, I like my new “woman” body and feel really good about it. I’ve been running twice a week and that really helps; it’s great for the mind, spirit and body. I feel guilty about it sometimes, but I really need that time for myself. I get Tu Th for it and then Ryan gets to ride his bike to work on M Wed.

Well that just about catches us up… I sure hope I can get on here more often!

Growing Before Our Eyes

2009-09-17T08:55:00.000-07:00

How time flies!!! My co-worker brought in her 2 week old yesterday and it was crazy to see a newborn; made me realize how TINY Rory was just a short while ago, and how much she has grown since then. (Since all I was concentrating on was how little she is in comparison to all the other kids her age.)

I have given up trying to breastfeed during the day/afternoon because I was prolonging pumpings hoping to bf and then when she wouldn’t I would miss out on whole pumping sessions, and my production went down. So I’m back on schedule; she wakes up for her early morning feedings and I can get in anywhere from 2-3 of those before leaving for work. I pump for the first time right before leaving after her last morning feeding, (around 6am) and pump every 3 hours for the rest of the day for a total of 6 pumpings. Before that last 9pm pumping at bed, I can sometimes get her to bf for it. I’ve also started taking fenugreek to help with supply. All in all I can get anywhere from 12-16 oz pumped each day (plus whatever she is getting when she bfs). Which should be enough, especially considering we have started her on food too (rice cereal first then bananas, which she LOVES).

But she must be going through a crazy growth spurt because she recently began waking up as early as midnight for a feeding again, then every 2 hours after that till morning. And she is not satisfied with just a bottle (no matter the size) at night; she needs rice cereal to be content. With her added hunger, I have not been able to produce enough; last week we used 2 batches of frozen milk, and last night we supplemented with a large bottle of formula. She seemed to be fine with it; I tasted it and thought it tasted stale and gross; breast milk tastes WAY better! I don’t mind a bottle of formula every now and then as long as she is getting mostly breast milk. Boy is this tough! We will see how long my production holds out. I’m hoping to be producing for her for up to 2 years old, but we will see.

She is so active its crazy; she chews on her feet all the time, and is not pacified to just sit anymore; she wants to be playing, and entertained. We are looking around to get a rainforest jumparoo; from what I have read and heard kids LOVE them and apparently walkers actually hinder development for walking.

I came up with awesome Halloween costumes too (thanks Lindsey and Melissa); Ryans going to be Hef (he already has that so he doesn’t need to buy anything), Ill be a playboy bunny and Rory will be a baby bunny! (And meaningful, since Ryan calls me his honey bunny and Rory his baby bunny). Im excited to get pictures taken of her. :0)

I know there is more to update on, but I don’t get around to posting often enough and by the time I do post I have forgotten what I wanted to post about! Ahhh, mommy brain.

Clone Wars

2009-09-10T09:00:00.001-07:00

Above: Rory at about 3 months, and then me, at 4 months.

Ryan told me the other day, "You just went and cloned yourself... what the hell did you need me for?"

She HAS grown...

2009-09-02T20:14:00.000-07:00

I LOVED Laura's idea of the same clothes to show how much our little ones have grown, so this is my version: At 4 days old and 4 months old.

My Birth Experience

2009-08-31T15:12:00.000-07:00

Here are the links to the program with Rita Wagner and Loralyn Cross.

Details: http://www.patientpower.info/webcastdetails.asp?dateid=8/17/2009&webcastid=UCSD081709

Stream: http://patientpower.info/stats/Redirect.asp?SID=UCSD081709&HAT=M3U

Download: http://patientpower.info/stats/Redirect.asp?SID=UCSD081709&HAT=MP3

Our Little Peanut

2009-08-31T08:19:00.000-07:00

So the 4 month old check-up on Friday went well. (Or so Ryan told me) She is still off the bottom of the charts; 23.5 inches, 10lbs, 6oz but they are not too worried since both Ryan and I were very small. I was always 5-10 percentile, and Cheryl says Ryan was 5-10 as well all the way through (and that was “adjusted” since he was so early they were taking his percentiles from his due date to give him a head start; so if they were not adjusting it he would have been off the charts like she is).

However, they do want us to start rice cereal early. So we did the first feeding on Sat; it went great and she loved it. We made it too thin and so my Mom was shoveling it in and holding the bowl below her chin to catch all the baby dribbles, it was a huge mess, but so much fun. We caught it on video. My Mom and Wayne had come over to babysit for that night so we could go to Wicked with Ashley, Dylan and her Mom. Well their sitter bailed on them so Wayne and my Mom ended up watching Boston too! I was so proud of them, they did such a great job and everyone was really appreciative of the date night opportunity to go out.

It’s so amazing to see them grow and develop right before your eyes. Aurora is now grabbing her feet and kicking like crazy. You would think she was going to loop them behind her ears they go so far up! She is very happy and smiles and coos all the time, but not so much laughing out loud going on. But my Mom says I didn’t LOL so much either.

The swaddling is now a thing of the past; she is happy as a clam in the bassinet all hanging loose, which is good since this crazy heat wave has it only dropping to like 80 degrees by the time we go to bed. (I think she would die of heatstroke if we had to swaddle her up).

She has kept the same night/feeding schedule; bed by 9pm and waking up ~3am for a feeding, then another when we get up at 6. I do love those morning feedings, because my jugs are the fullest and she feeds so well and its really wonderful quiet bonding time with her, even if I am half asleep. I am a little concerned about my milk production though; over the last few weeks I’ve dropped from being 3 day bottles ahead (we are storing each days worth of milk in 12 oz beer bottles) to only having 2 ahead. Luckily I have like 5 days of milk in the freezer, but I am pumping more often and started Fenugreek this weekend to see if I can up things. She is taking in more overall, since she mostly takes 4oz bottles now at each feeding instead of 3 and I just need to produce more to adjust!

The dog days of summer are coming to an end and this is the time of year that gets you thinking about the holidays; Ryan’s bday in Sept, mine in Oct, then Thanksgiving, and Christmas right around the corner… WOW its going to be here before we know it! Its going to be so wonderful, celebrating the holidays with our new family. I can’t wait!

Weaning of the Swaddling & Male Pattern Baldness

2009-08-25T09:04:00.001-07:00

Well the last few nights have been a little rough. Since Aurora can roll onto her side now, we need to wean her off of being swaddled to sleep. It is a process, getting them to be able to self settle after self startling (say that 10 times fast). So it has been back to newborn nights for me; up every few hours giving her back her pacifier when she wakes up and realizes she doest have it and she’s not all wrapped up safe and sound like a baby burrito (or glow-worm as many of you fondly call it). Good thing is, while she is up, I figure I might as well feed her, since she’s underweight anyway. So I think she’s been getting a little more milk than usual and its good for my production to have more consistent emptying of the milk jugs.

Besides that, while my darling little girl is just as beautiful as ever to me, she has developed male pattern baldness. As if the rat-tail/mullet wasn’t bad enough on it’s own, there is now a distinct bald ring just above it all the way around her head. Unless there is a new hair style coming onto the scene that I don’t know about, the “Fryer Tuck” wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for my sweetheart. What makes it worse is that Ryan has decided that she looks like his cousin, and has now taken to calling her “Phillip”. The other day I had to call him on it, and point out that she was going to think her name was Phillip if he kept doing it. He restricts himself and only does it by accident a few times a day now.

I'm back on the grid...

2009-08-17T14:31:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a while… over 3 months actually! After posting my birth story, I battled with the idea of continuing my blog or just leaving it as it stood as a pregnancy blog. Part of me really wanted to continue on, but then as the days and weeks and months went by that I didn’t post anything I thought of all the things I would have to write in to catch everyone up and it just seemed overwhelming. Then I got a few requests from people to continue it, so here I am. I wont pretend to spend a huge effort grandfathering in everything from the last 3 and a half months, but here are the basics and here we go from here on out!

Aurora
Just a little pixie, has been small the whole time. Finally got her out of newborn diapers just a few weeks ago, and just this weekend retired the newborn clothes and got out the 0-3 month stuff. The fancy clothes (dresses with matching panties) all still fit the newborn size. She has fallen off the charts for smallness weight at just over 10 lbs now and head circumference (although its not like she was really far up “in” the chart to begin with), but with height she’s in the 50th-75th percentile. The doctors are slightly concerned, however, considering the fact that she couldn’t be happier and more content, is peeing and pooping just fine and we are trying to get her to drink as much of Mommy’s milk as possible, they don’t really have any other suggestions for us, and are satisfied with the fact that she is gaining, if slowly. And my instincts tell me that she is just perfect the way she is, and not to force her into charts and categories with other babies.

As mentioned, she is the happiest baby on the block; smiling all the time now, and giggling little bits here and there. Her best time is in the morning after waking up. She is so alert and active, ecstatic to interact. It’s a wonderful way to start the day. She’s babbling now too, which is music to our ears.

She sleeps through the night; goes to bed around 9pm and wakes up for her morning feeding at about 4am and goes back to sleep until we wake up to get ready for work at 6. She goes to bed like a charm for the night and for naps; just feed her, change her diaper, swaddle her wind up her “twirly friends” as Ryan calls them (her mobile) and she is off to neverland.

Her eyes are staying blue and I think they are here to stay. Sorry Ryan and Brian, but I won another bet. Her hair is staying sort of reddish-brown, we will see if it lightens up. She for sure has a fryer tuck fringe around the head going on though. Ill have to trim it if it gets to be too ridiculous. I am not about to have a baby girl with a mullet. She does have Ryan’s skin it seems though, which we will jump for joy at if it sticks. Time will tell!

Me
Well I am great. I healed up pretty good, and was walking with Aurora as soon as I could manage. But still really craved my runs. I have been able to take some of them and it feels great. It makes me really sad to take time away from Aurora though, so it’s really a battle to take the time for myself to be healthy but have to be away from her for it. So we go on as many walks as we can during the week for her and Guinness, and I try to get a few runs in during the week. After all was said and done, I had just under 10 lbs to loose. I still have 7 left. It’s a tough process! I am eating really well though when I can (commitment to producing great breastmilk) and that helps a lot.

The breastfeeding thing is going well, though not fantastically. With the introduction of many bottle feedings, Aurora is impatient at the breast when I’m not completely full. (So pretty much anytime that is not the morning feedings where I am full-o-milk). But as long as my boobs produce as much as she needs, I don’t really care. So I pump away. It is a pain in the butt, and I spend over an hour a day pumping (in addition to the time I spend breastfeeding her) but its totally worth it for all of the benefits of breastfeeding. I keep the stats handy about it for motivation: 71% of all children are breastfead in the beginning; it drops to 36% by 6 months of age, and only 17% of children are breastfead by 1 year old. I can see how it is much easier to just move to formula, even if it is more expensive.

I have been back at work for 2 weeks now. It was hardest the 2nd day back. The first day was like a vacation from the house; the second day was realization of the reality of leaving Aurora for 5 days a week. Aurora actually was very pissed at me after my first day out, and went on a breastfeeding strike and was very unhappy with me, but I slowed things down that night, cuddled a lot with skin to skin time, talked to her and told her about work and apologized; she somehow understood and was much better the next day. But now I have a schedule down and am very comfortable with how things are going. We figured out the care thing; Mondays and Wednesdays Ryan’s mom Cheryl is there from 7-9am, then my mom comes and takes over till we get home. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, we have made arrangements with an awesome sitter in Tierrasanta who we love, Diane who lives just down the street on our way out to work. (The previous 2 weeks, our cousins Kimmy and Sheila, as well as Aunt Diana were nice enough to cover those days). Most Fridays Ryan has off due to schedule and furlough, and I will take whatever Fridays he doesn’t have covered.

Well, I think that’s enough for now at least, we will see how long it takes me to come back for round two!

She's Here!!! Aurora's Birth Story

2009-05-10T21:07:00.000-07:00

Well, as my psychic powers predicted, Aurora had intentions of coming early. (Ok, so with Luke, Hazel, Boston, Keira and Aurora all earlier than their due dates, I am calling the whole "first borns go late" thing a myth.) Anyway, Monday was my last day of work. Tuesday, May 5th was to be my first day off; 2 weeks before the due date. And before I start my story, let me just say that as much of a planner as I am, I had prepared myself and tried to keep an "anything can happen" mentality going into this. And I just want to thank my amazing daughter Aurora, because she orchestrated the most amazingly timed course of events I could have imagined...

As previously posted, I had noticed changes the evening of the 4th and that morning of the Monday, the 5th and knew she would be coming sooner than later, but didn't know how soon. My wonderful co-workers took me out to lunch at my choice restaurant (BJ's) for my last day of work, and promptly at 12:45pm, just after they served Pazookies for dessert, my water broke - I begin to feel something slide down my canal, which I immediately think is the rest of the mucous plug or something like that... but then it feels like I am peeing in a pool and have no control over it, and water starts to pool in the chair I am sitting in and over the side down on the ground. I turn to Shelly, who was sitting next to me and say, "I think my water just broke." Everybody starts to get all hyped, and ask what we do. I say, "We finish our damn Pazookies!" Knowing that it would probably be my last good meal in a while, and the fact that I was not in active labor yet and it would probably be a long drawn out process, I was in no hurry to leave one of the best desserts ever un-eaten, especially when someone else was paying! So I make a few basic calls (Ryan, my Mom and Cheryl), we finished up, (all the while the janitor guy is trying to mop up behind me probably thinking I am absolutely crazy for acting so nonchalant about peeing my pants) and head out front. Most people would be really embarrassed by this, but hey, what are you going to do? Besides, how cool is that - my last day of work, out to lunch with all my favorite ladies from work, my water breaks and we all have a good laugh, and they get to share that part of Aurora's birth with me. We take a few pics (above) and then head back to the office. I grab the rest of my things at the office (lucky I was already pretty much packed up for the day) and head home to meet Ryan.

I get home, and we call the birth center, since Ryan is concerned that my water breaking requires more immediate action than I am giving the situation (I wasn't in any rush since the contractions hadn't really started yet), and they basically say to take my time coming in, not to rush, but to come in as soon as is comfortable. Take a shower, and we pack the hospital bag. Still not having any noticeably closer or regular contractions (although I was not really paying that much attention at this point - too hyped from my water breaking and trying to pack things up, etc.)

Finally get to the hospital around 3:30pm. My Mom is on her way to the hospital, Cheryl has a dentist apt at 3pm that I told her she might as well go to anyway, and Diana is already there, since she thought the water breaking meant that things were already well on their way (her water didn't break until much further in the labor process and didn't realize they didn't always happen in the same order). Ryan drops me off and goes to park the car, I find Diana and she checks into the birth center with me. They have me strip and find some of the amniotic fluid (which is still leaking little bits here and there) to make sure that is what it was, Ryan shows up somewhere in the middle of this, and then they take me to my room. By now I am starting to get regular contractions, about every 10 min. The floor was empty at the time, so I end up getting one of the two biggest rooms they have there, (which we will need later on in the story).

We get settled, and throughout the afternoon, my Mom, Cheryl, Little Diana, Brian, Blake, Nathan and Melinda all arrive to keep me company as my contractions settle pretty quickly to every 5 minutes, but are completely bearable. Everyone wants to know how far along I am, but since my water broke already and I seem to be fairly comfortable (translation: still a long way to go) the midwives are not going to check on things yet. This is frustrating for everyone, because they all want to know how far along I am! (I can read their faces, and they are saying, "look like you are in pain so they will check you!" What they tell the nurses is that I have a high pain threshold and I could be further along than they think... the nurses don't buy it - I'm sure they have seen it a million times before. One of them says actually women with high tolerance have a harder time with labor, because they are not used to things hurting; and childbirth surprises them and then they have a harder time than people who know they have a hard time with pain and are expecting/prepared for it to be really painful.)

The contractions progress through the evening, and night. At about 2am, they are getting pretty painful, and I am no longer joking around with everyone, or assigning pain scale levels to each contraction. Using my breathing techniques and just pacing around, I get through each contraction as it comes. At this point, I want to get checked. So they do, and she is "low" in my pelvis, I am 80% effaced and 2cm dilated. Great. Still a LONG way to go. But we are all happy that she is progressing. One of the nurses ask me if I want to try taking a shower. This sounds great to me, so Ryan gets on his swim trunks and I walk across the hall to the shower that has been prepared for me. OMG a shower never felt so good. I labor in the shower for 2 solid hours, with my breathing coach, Ryan right there with me. Contractions even stronger, and I get out as they are getting intense enough that I need some massage to deal with the back labor. Cheryl is the only one who seems to be able to massage my muscles hard enough, and of course Ryan continues charge of breathing. (My Mom says that he had every woman in the room breathing per his instructions!) My favorite position for the contractions settles to be bending over the foot of the bed with lots of pillows, Cheryl grinding my back into mush, Ryan in front of me directing my breathing and each of my hands squeezing his two middle fingers like I am on the ride of my life (and incidentally, I am.)

At 5am, I am pretty much beside myself. The pain is extremely intense with each contraction, and I have been laboring for about 12 hours at this point, with no sleep. I am exhausted and decide that I want some pain medication. The midwife says that if I want pain medication, then I can't set up the hydro-tub to labor in (since the meds will make me a little loopy) and I am far enough along its basically one or the other. I think about it for about a mili-second, and opt for the meds. They need to check me to see how dilated I am before they do the IV to administer the meds. Ok, at least we will know how far along I am; 5cm dilated, 100% effaced, she is at station -1! Yay, that means things are really progressing, (at least the pain is not for nothing!). They give me some phenergan (an anti-histamine like a benedryl that can make you sleepy but also helps with nausea) and nubain (for pain - similar to demarol). OMG it's amazing. It really takes off the edge, and after laboring for about 12 hours at this point, all through the night I am so exhausted I fall asleep for about an hour. Ryan does too. Everyone gets a little break... then my contractions wake me back up and it's go time again!

They are manageable now at least - about the same pain level as maybe 2-3cm when I was in the shower... I labor with those for a few hours, and finally start to get the "urge". Which basically at a certain point, in addition to being extremely painful, they are accompanied by the strong urge to go pee and poop at the same time, and push for all you are worth! So not only do you have to get through the pain of the contraction, but resist the urge too... NOT easy. So by and by I REALLY want to push, so we decide to check me again. 9am, I am 9cm dilated and almost ready to go!!! Somewhere in this process the midwife who was there has to leave for something, and the midwife who was called in to take her place is... RITA!!! I am really out of it by this point and am just glad to have her there. I labor some more and I just about can't stand it anymore, and pretty much at one point just want to start pushing, I don't care how dilated I am, so Rita checks me and we are ready to go; I can start pushing!

I ask her what position is best for controlling the crowning for stretching purposes since I know that will be my biggest problem, and she says lying sideways. So I lay down, Cheryl holding up my right leg, and it's show time. I start pushing sometime around 10:30am, Ryan right up at the top of the bed with me letting me squeeze his hands for stability and strength with every contraction. Eventually she is crowning, and man, does it burn! Rita and I try to control it as best we can, allowing the perineum time to stretch and she keeps putting some kind of gel all over and where my skin is turning white (places it is stretching too much and will rip) she tries to give support by "holding" it together, but eventually we just call it - it's not going to stretch any more, and I want that baby out and on my chest! So for a few contractions I just push for all it's worth, feeling like I am taking the biggest crap of my life and here she comes... Rita catches her and then suddenly she is up on my chest - all wet and warm and crying with big strong lungs. A few minutes later my Mom cuts the cord, and I finally have my baby girl.

(This part I only find out about afterward since I was pretty out of it at the time) I am bleeding more than Rita would like, it's not stopping on it's own, and Rita needs to stitch up my 2nd degree tear, so since we have the handy IV, she gives me some pitocin which I guess helps the uterus contract and stop the bleeding. Then she stitches me up (2 internal 2 external from what Cheryl could see) and I get propped up on the bed to feed her for the first time. We don't even get her weighed and measured for like an hour while we are getting good skin to skin time.

Aurora Lynn Cross

Born 5/5/09 at 11:25am

6lbs, 3oz; 19 inches (they said 18.5 but didn't measure very accurately; at the first ped apt a week later she measured at 19.25 so I am saying 19 from here on out.)

Rita said later that Aurora really did me a favor coming early because a few more weeks and I would have had some very serious tearing. (See, I started this whole thing by saying Aurora had it timed out perfectly from start to finish!)

I forgot to mention that there were about 10 people present at the delivery. Let's see... there was of course Ryan, Cheryl, and Rita (we were all on the bed for the delivery) then watching from around the bed were my Mom, Diana, Carol, Nana, Brian - taking the video, Alyssa, Blake - who had a hard time watching his "sister" spread eagle delivering, did I miss anyone??? All I know is that the only people I was really aware of were the people on the bed with me; I call it the snow globe effect. Ryan, Cheryl, Rita and I were all on the bed inside the snow globe delivering the baby, and outside the snow globe watching the whole thing was everyone else. I knew they were there, but didn't really have any concept of who was there or how many, or what they were doing... It was amazing to be able to share that with them, as they wouldn't normally get the opportunity to do so in a "classic" delivery set up at any other hospital. I can't even express my gratitude to the Birth Center staff, who did such an incredible job, or to UCSD for offering such a wonderful program like the Birth Center for people like me who want that kind of experience.

Anyway, I am sorry this has taken me so long to get up, things have just been crazy and I have been trying to spend as much time with Ryan and Aurora as I can before he goes back to work on Tuesday. I'm going to miss him so much! And it's going to be even harder when I have to go back in the middle of July. Well, enjoy the time while we have it, right? More later...

Any Day Now...

2009-05-04T08:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Ryan and I went cleaning crazy and cleaned from dawn till dusk. Talk about nesting. Didn't get as much done as I would have liked, but got a lot done none the less.

Well last night Aurora was moving like crazy in the pelvic region (way more than normal) and there was for sure something going on in my soft tissues down there that has not happened before either. I told Ryan something was up.

This morning I woke up with pinkish discharge. (Discharge has been increased for the last week but no blood). Me thinks she's coming sooner than later!

Ryan said if she does decide to come tomorrow, she has a sick sense of humor; his. Being as how I am supposed to be watching Boston for a few hours in the morning, Rick, Cheryl, Blake and Alyssa are all going to Disneyland for Cheryl's Bday, and tomorrow is the ONLY day Kimmy didn't get permission to skip out on her finals/classes for the day if I do go into labor...

The Waiting Game

2009-05-01T08:16:00.000-07:00

I had my (probably) last chiropractor appointment this week. Carol told me I was her favorite pregnant patient, since she was able to get a great adjustment out of me even as huge as I am. She said normally mobility in pregnant women especially this late in the game is so restricted and you are all swollen she doesn't get much. It felt so great, even though the drop panel doesn't quite drop enough for my whale of a belly. And thanks to my Mom and Grace for their extremely generous gift certificate there (on TOP of everything they did for my awesome shower!!!).

Today is our weekly apt with Rita. I have a long list of things to ask her about...
-I gained 3lbs this week, wondering if that is anything to be concerned about. (How did that happen? It's not like I ate a big chocolate bunny or anything...)
-Started taking Aciphex last week (finally broke down and wanted to try something different for my heartburn than 10 tums a day; better late than never, right?) and it has been WONDERFUL. I even ate a real dinner last night, and was totally fine!
-Wondering how many first time vaginal births DON'T tear? (Or is that some unicorn story??? Do I even have a chance at it?)
-Want to make sure my ongoing cough (for the last 2 months) is still ok if no other symptoms...

Today is my second to last day at work too, Monday being my last. Very strange, it's really here now. Last night, just as I was in bed thinking "Finally, with work out of the way, I can actually get some stuff done" and mentally going through the list of things I want to do before Aurora comes, and literally right then, Ryan says, "Promise me you will take at least a few hours every day to relax, lay down and do nothing, since I know I can't keep you from doing at least something every day." I married a mind reader. Or am I that transparent??? How can I not be thinking of the dirty bathrooms, un-vacumed and un-swept floors, the unsorted and unwashed baby clothes, the piles of stuff we moved out of Aurora's room into the game room and have not organized... Well I will just take it one day at a time and try not to do too much each day.

Last night Rick and Cheryl came over for his semi-annual hair cut, and to give us the video camera that Rick is second-handing to us. [If anyone knows anything about Ryan's dad, we have a phrase with him called "Ricking it" which means he has to have the top of the line of anything he decides to purchase. And when new technology comes out that is better than what he has but his current stuff still "works" just fine... he finds some excuse to give it to his kids and get the newest, latest and greatest. We couldn't be happier or luckier recipients! And having Aurora is like the best excuse in the world for him to pass his camera on to us, and we are super stoked on it.] I want to get in some good prego footage, and some time of Ryan and I together and the house before Aurora comes. Then of course of the whole process of labor and beyond...

So here we are, playing the waiting game, wondering if she is coming next week, or the following week, or... All I know is that I don't think I can possibly get any bigger, more stuffed or more uncomfortable. I couldn't do twins and I think Octo Mom is the most insane person in the whole world. And I could really go for a rootbeer float right now. I'll have to wait until I get home.

Practically 37 Weeks... Full Term!

2009-04-27T09:52:00.000-07:00

Well, tomorrow I will be 37 weeks pregnant, which is technically full term. Everything is becoming really real to me now. This weekend Ryan and I did mostly chores, but took some time to relax and enjoy ourselves too. There is still so much to do though! Whatever we don't get done will just have to wait (maybe forever!).

We visited Nicole and Jason for a little bit. I was so impressed with how together they are; very calm, collected, not frazzled or (seemingly) overwhelmed at all, like I guess I picture most parents to be right out of the gate? It is inspiring and gives me hope that while difficult, everything will all be ok and is doable. Luke is too cute, and I got to hold him a lot. It was crazy thinking that he is smaller out of the womb now than Aurora is not yet out of my stomach! Well she will be growing until she comes out so it all depends on when she is ready to come.

May is crazy and there are a number of family events, between birthdays and Mother's Day, it is strange thinking that for each one, I will either be really really pregnant, or have a newborn.

I am totally convinced she will be coming early, I just don't know how much. Last night I had a really hard time sleeping because Aurora was putting so much pressure on my cervix; I couldn't get in a good position and had to get up several times and pace the room a little. And you can really feel her now... I can feel body parts now where before I could never feel anything but a big swollen belly. The cramping accompanying the Braxton Hicks is getting worse and more frequent (good opportunity for me to practice my breathing exercises) and since Nicole only got through a few days of her Evening Primrose Oil, she gave me the rest of hers and I started those yesterday. Now we are into the once a week visits with the midwives, so we will see, things continue to progress!

Too Many Exciting Things at 36 Weeks

2009-04-22T15:17:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday marked 36 weeks (not only getting me to the next big number of 8 months, but also only 1 week away from full term if Aurora is born early). There has been too much excitement and I have to say I am overwhelmed! First, last Sat I had my final shower (the my friends and family one) thrown by Grace (and somehow my Mom and Auntie M. along the way too!) It was so wonderful, with soooo many friends and family that I have not seen in such a long time. It was really terrific to see everyone, and I was just overcome with the love and joy showered upon me by everyone. I am so lucky to have such great friends and family!!! Aurora received a ton of wonderful gifts... not only will she be the best dressed princess in Tierrasanta, but she will have with her forever a number of hand crafted and uniquely beautiful items from people who love her, from mobiles, to blankets and hats, to drawings incorporating her name (By the way, Ashley is commissioning out her work so let me know if you want her to do a piece), etc. What special people I know that took the time and love to create these things and give them to Aurora. And... I we got the carseat!!! (Yes, kind of important), thanks to Venissa, Cindie and Nicole.

SPEAKING of Nicole, she had Luke on Monday evening! Her water broke that morning, and after a pretty long day, finally got Luke out of her tummy and into this world. Happy and healthy 5lbs, 12oz and 18 inches long, he has a FULL head of hair, and is as tiny and adorable as can be. So now Aurora just has to choose which boyfriend she wants, Nicole and Jason's little Luke or Ashley and Dylan's Boston. :0) I am so excited for Nicole, and happy that her long journey is over, as she was pretty uncomfortable these last few weeks of pregnancy.

Then there is me... well there have been a number of changes in my body and in Aurora's movement the last week and a half, so to be better safe than sorry I contacted the midwife on call. She had me come on in this afternoon to do a non-stress test, and get an ultrasound to make sure everything was ok. Well, everything is! Thank goodness. The test showed that her heartrate is normal, and she is moving as much as she should be. We could see in the ultrasound that she is head down (already knew that) and was practicing sucking and sticking out her tongue, and look at those nice full lips! (We know what side she got those from). She was practicing breathing ("flexing" her lungs), something that babies in distress don't have the energy to do, and my levels of amniotic fluid were normal. And if she had to guess today how big Aurora is, she would say on the upperhand of 5lbs (almost 6). So it sounds like she will probably be somewhere between 6 and 7 lbs at birth, I would think. SOOOO that was all excellent news! And of course, better safe than sorry. :0)

So now that things are all calmed down, showers are over, social obligations are done for now, Ryan and I are going to keep the calendar FREE for just relaxing, clean up, and the last peace and quiet we will have together for a long time to come.

Top 10 Things I Can't Wait to do Again

2009-04-09T13:31:00.000-07:00

10. Look down and be able to see my cooch.
9 1/2. Be able to shave it myself.
9. Have access to an expanded wardrobe.
8. Wear cute heels.
7. Drive home without having to do Kegals.
6. Sleep without an entourage of pillows placed just so.
5. Sit in one position for more than 5 minutes without getting uncomfortable.
4. Laugh or cough without peeing my pants, literally. (Yes, thats what the pantyliners are for besides uber amounts of discharge. TMI? Too bad.)
3. Eat a big huge burger and fries at 7pm and not worry about it coming back up and choking on it in my sleep at 11pm.
2. Go for a run at black's beach, get all sweaty and get my heart rate up.

And, the number one thing I can't wait to do again.....

1. Have GREAT sex again.

Smiles at 34 weeks

2009-04-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

Well there is no doubt that I am pregnant now; I have long passed the questioning "Well she sure looks pregnant, but you never know and I'm not going to say something and be wrong" looks and now have moved into the "Wow, due any day now, huh?" outright comments. "Nope, still have 6 weeks to go." I reply... and to that, "Jeez, you sure you don't got twins in there???" lol. Yeah lady, I'm pretty sure they would have caught it at the first or second ultrasound, or heard multiple heartbeats with the doppler at any of my last 6 appointments. But thanks for asking. :0)

But I am glad at least you can tell. A friend was telling me that someone she knew was 6 months pregnant and you couldn't even tell; she was so excited for the baby bump, and for people being nice and smiling and holding doors for you, etc... but if you don't look pregnant, you aren't going to get that, are you? I had not thought of that before. I guess while I am uncomfortable beyond belief, my feet ache, my tailbone hurts, my back is sore, I feel like I have to go pee 24/7 whether I actually do or not and my ribs are numb and tingly anytime I sit down, at least I can share with the world that I am going through this miraculous experience... and I don't even have to say a word for them to know it!

I love the smiles you get; many people don't even say a word, they just see the tummy, look up to make eye contact, and smile knowingly. (Exactly what they are thinking is unknown, i.e. the comic above) However, any joy, however it happens, is a good thing, and if I can make 2 people a day smile just by being pregnant and letting them see me waddle around as such, that is a good day!

(Almost) 33 Weeks

2009-03-30T13:02:00.000-07:00

Well tomorrow is 33 weeks. WAHOO! It's pretty unreal to be so close. The wonderful ladies at work are throwing me a shower tomorrow and I am really looking forward to it... and it's crazy to think that I am only going to working for another 5 weeks. And things are so busy with all the recruiting visits we have going, and the stimulus money available for grants, plus the prep for getting everything in order for my leave including the temp who is starting next Monday...

Can I tell you how huge I am??? I almost need arm extensions for anything since my belly keeps me like 2 feet further away than I would normally be from anything. I feel like the bubble boy, but the bubble doesn't encompass my whole body, just my abdomen. Ryan keeps bumping into it and knocking around it, looking down surprised, like "what the heck was that???". It doesn't help that he is like 3 feet above it and can't even really see it from his height. I'm bumping into stuff all over the place too. One of these days the space I try to fit through just won't be big enough and there I will get stuck. I've gotten pretty close. I still try to turn sideways to fit through spaces, even though I know I'm just as wide sideways as I am frontways. In fact, I think at this point I am probably bigger sideways.

And the peeing is crazy. I feel like I have to go all the time, and when I go sometimes a little tinkle is my only reward. The other night, Aurora was resting just right pinching my piping and I actually had to physically move her to be able to get the flow going... geez kid!

Our last childbirth class is on Wed and I am amazed that it has already been 6 weeks since we started them. It was so much fun, and I really liked the couples we met there. We are doing a dessert potluck for our last class (Yummy!) and we are all going to email baby pics to our instructor who will send them around for us all to see, then after all our babies are born we are going to get together for a little reunion!!! I am really excited about that, it was a great way to meet some parents with same aged babies, and you already have a head start in knowing them. We still have a newborn care class this month too and then all our classes are done!

Ok so I have to brag about my wonderful Ryan. I went on a womens retreat with Cheryl (Ryan's Mom) this weekend. It was beautiful up in Pine Valley, and besides it being a really meaningful theme about forgiveness (a topic I have miles to work on) it was just a wonderful weekend, including a great afternoon of playing bridge with Aunt Diana, Nana and one of the other church ladies.

Anyway, there were some things that we needed to get done for baby set up of the house before Aurora comes, and Ryan was going to take the weekend to get some of it done since time is getting away from us now in the final months. All I thought he was going to do was move all the beer stuff out of the bookcase in the den, and get rid of the "beer fridge" in there.

Well when I came home, he really surprised me, because he had done it all!!! He replaced the window blinds in her room (something I really wanted done before she gets here), brought up the rocking chair, put the dresser in place and filled it with all the baby stuff, put up the table that was in the room on the wall as a wall decoration piece, and hung my dad's wreaths that he had made on them, so it looks like we actually have a theme now; natural & nature-y with neutral colors - perfect for us!!!

To make room for everything he took the two bookshelves that were in her room and moved them down into the old den which is now going to be a game/craft/play room, and moved all my scrapbooking stuff, and all the games downstairs too. I already had missed him all weekend from being away from him, then I came home to that and I just was overtaken with so much love for him!!!

I love my wonderful husband!

30 weeks +, going strong!

2009-03-13T13:12:00.000-07:00

Well, on Tuesday I will be 31 weeks. Wowza! Things are so crazy busy, I feel like I don't have time to blink! (And I don't have room to breathe, for that matter). I can't believe that March is already half over. I am really looking forward to my next two showers, Nicole's shower, the weekend at the ranch, my easter egg decorating day, Easter itself, there are so many fun events as we head through spring and closer to our sweet Aurora making her exit/entrance. (Exit from her personal heated swimming pool, entrance into the big vast world).

It is really nice though, that this last trimester is going so fast, because, believe me, I am ready for it to be over! Some mothers you talk to just LOVE being pregnant. They are the ones with no symptoms, didn't start showing until they were 5 months pregnant, and at month 9 look like they ate a few burritos. I am not one of them. Don't get me wrong, there is no greater joy than growing the miracle of life, no greater honor than to carry your own and give them everything they need physically for 9 months to one day become a whole human. And it's fun to feel them kick in your stomach, and see the movement happen. Amazing to see the ultrasound and follow the progression of this tiny person who started in your uterus as a tiny grain of rice and eventually develops into a 6+ lb baby to leave able to survive outside the whom... but in general, there are a zillion other things I would rather be doing for 9 months than being sick as a dog in every way imaginable, too hot for comfort, fat as a pig, suddenly complete with cow udders that are very milkable and an ever growing tumor in your abdomen that displaces your stomach, your lungs and your bladder all at once. I don't enjoy waking up having to go pee more badly than I have ever had to before, rolling around for 5 min in bed just trying to get up enough momentum to get off the edge, stumbling to the toilet, managing to find a seat and discovering that a trickle of about 3 tablespoons of pee was what all the fuss was about (reference to the displaced bladder from above). Repeat ~4 times a night. And I am one of the lucky ones. My friends are on the 7-8 times per night schedule. It's not fun to regurgitate my food and drink for hours if I swallow an ounce more than a cup of anything at a time; as far as I know, I'm not a bird and don't have 4 chicks in a nest to feed. When Aurora comes, I will have a full appreciation for the sacrifice that my body has made to create this wondrous miracle, and it will be worth every bit that I went through to get her here.

Oh yeah, and I don't think I will have trouble breastfeeding, which makes me very happy; I can get a few drops of colostrum if I try. And I just couldn't help myself; my curiosity got the best of me, and I tasted it. It didn't taste like much and I didn't have the guts to taste any more. :0)

"Sorry it's Been so Long" Update

2009-03-02T13:17:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow marks week 29, the beginning of the 3rd and final trimester. I feel like I have finally made it to the top of the roller coaster after months of agonizingly slow clickity clicks for each "pregnancy milestone" and now as I round the top of the crest the rest of the ride will just flash past me and suddenly I'm going to be heaving-ho in a UCSD hospital bed to get my little girl out of my stomach and into our arms!

Something that has kept me busy among other things, is my crappy prego immune system. I thought my last sickness was just a fluke; a bad cold exacerbated by allergies, but here I am a month later with another just-as-bad of a cold that has had me on my ass for almost a week now, having to admit that I no longer have the immune system of an elephant, and am completely susceptible to any bug or germ floating in my general vicinity that thinks I am just too cute to pass up for a night on the town (and then some). And the fact that you can't take hardly anything makes it pretty unbearable and harder to get over. (So this is what things were like before drugs!) Ok, complaining rant complete.

We started our childbirth classes last week. We are taking the extended 6 week series (Weds from 7-9 = way past my bedtime = I'm going in PJs and no one can stop me). I was pleased with the first one. I don't expect to learn anything really new (and I didn't at the first one) since I have been so religious about reading material - magazines, online articles, all the books, etc. - but I am hoping to get Ryan more involved with the info since he has not been. We spent some time doing some "social" activities with the other couples, which was interesting. One of the activities exemplified the Venus vs. Mars outlooks of women vs. men. We got into those two groups and came up with lists of the best and worst things we have encountered with pregnancy so far. The women came up with one good thing: being able to feel the baby move. The men came up with a number of good things that none of us women even considered a good thing, like bigger boobs. Way to think outside of the box guys. Ryan suggested that he was getting more good food cooked than normal; the other guys looked at him like he was crazy. I guess they are getting more crazy cravings from their women, and having to make late night runs to random restaurants. lol. It was a nice bonding experience for Ryan and I and I am looking forward to the classes to come.

My first shower is already next weekend! I am so excited. I also move into my own office at work next week too, which will be really convenient for when I come back to work and need to be breast pumping. Ryan and I got a lot of "clean up" chores done this weekend, including taxes, paperwork cleanup, general clean up... Things are starting to fall into place, and Aurora will be here before we know it!!!

My Cups Spillith Over

2009-02-10T15:17:00.000-08:00

WARNING: This is TMI, so stop reading here if you don't want to hear another one of Loralyn's "I can't believe she went there!" tangents.

Have I mentioned my boobs are out of control? When my Mom (who before her mastectomy and breastlift hung to her waist without a bra to hold up her DD sized boobs) told Ryan that she used to be as big as me before having Skye and I, he did NOT believe her one bit. He didn't think there was any way that I (a VERY padded C, and only a C because I am wide around not because I am huge in the cups) would ever get to be a DD just from kids. However, now that I look like a porn star with fake melons when I wear my old bras and have more piggy-pink colored stretch marks grasping as far across my chest as they can reach, he is a believer. And he is very scared for what a second pregnancy further do to them. I told him it was ok, he could just get me a boob lift for my 50th birthday. At least there are no stretch marks on my tummy yet. And I probably won't get any; my Mom doesn't have any.

Oh, and I am sick of telling people YES I am putting coco butter on my tummy and boobs. Yes it helps with itching and dryness, but NO it does not prevent stretch marks. It just depends on how much weight you gain in a given time and how well your skin can stretch to accommodate, which is genetic.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_stretch-marks_1352276.bc

Anyway, while I will never again be able to "legitimately/appropriately" wear a tank top braless ever again (and even pre-pregnancy some of my family members would question my definition of legitimate/appropriate), at least I now have a little cleavage for low-cut shirts/dresses, which I have been taking FULL advantage of.

The Countdown Begins

2009-02-09T15:17:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow marks 26 weeks... and suddenly it seems like (as my friend Laura has said) the count of how many weeks pregnant you are in the beginning that is such a big deal week after week transforms itself to a countdown of how much time you have left; only 3 more weeks left of the 2nd trimester/only one more appointment until they are every 2 weeks/ less than 4 months until Aurora will be here!

The gestational diabetes screening went well; results were normal, yea! My friend Nicole had to do the 3 hour one but just got those results today and hers were normal too, double yea! Ryan and I were worried for a mili-second about the AFP results that I had gotten at Kaiser, but UCSD finally has all of my records safe and sound and Rita had a chance to look them over and left a message for me on Friday saying that "on paper, you look like a rock-star!" That made me feel really good.

The basketball in my stomach continues to grow, making simple everyday activities less simple. I don't make it off the bed on the first try all the time, and people are starting to make fun of me waddling. At least I can still zip up my favorite sweaters and jacket. Hopefully I don't outgrow them before the winter is over, I really don't want to spend money on sweaters and jackets that I may or may not need in my next pregnancy. I mean, with my metabolism the way it is right now I hardly need more than a long sleeve shirt in most situations anyway. (Still sleeping with one throw blanket; on colder nights, its time to wear pajama pants).

Ryan is being really wonderful and we have been enjoying a lot of time together lately. REI has not been scheduling many hours for him (bad for the piggy bank, good for time together), and in an uncharacteristic break, our schedule has been free from many social/family obligations most weekends, allowing us to plan some small things last minute with friends and family but still having plenty of "us" time. I feel like I am falling in love with him all over again in the pregnancy. I am just overflowing with love for him, the wonderful father he is going to be, and the amazing miracle of life we are about to bring into the world and into our family.

I love Rita!!!

2009-02-02T09:30:00.000-08:00

(Almost) 25 weeks. Friday was wonderful; the visit with Rita went sooo well and I love her! Since it was Ryan's scheduled Friday off, he was able to go too, which was really nice. Rita is young, full of energy, very outgoing and so nice. She took lots of time with us and gave personalized care; it didn't feel like a scripted appointment. They didn't get the hard copies of my Kaiser records over from Perlman where my first UCSD appointment was, so she didn't have a lot to go on, but they should have them by my next appointment, which is in 4 weeks, also on a Friday that Ryan has off, so he can go again! (Yea for Friday appointments that Ryan can go to.)

Next testing is the gestational diabetes, where you drink a dose of sugar and see how crazy your baby gets within an hour. (Actually you drink it then they take your blood an hour later to check for diabetes, since they dont want you to end up with a 10lb baby because of it!)

I did more cleaning of Aurora's room over the weekend, went through all of my memoirs and sorted them out, it was crazy seeing some of those things that I have not looked through in years. Like actual letters I got from people I met at like 6th grade camp and the summer at USC and trips like that, as well as those just from HS. (Yes, back in the day when we actually wrote REAL letters!!!)

It's all starting to come together, as we get closer and closer...

6 Months and Counting...

2009-01-27T10:47:00.000-08:00

Well today marks 24 weeks! Crazy to think 6 months has come and gone since this whole baby thing started. I look at all I have gone through physically & emotionally, and all I have learned and researched and in some ways it seems like more than that, some ways far less...

Ryan and I went to the "Meet the Midwives" presentation at UCSD last night. My midwife, Rita was not there, since she is on vaca in Mexico this week, but it was really great. I kind of made this whole decision to go the BC (Birthing Center) route without really discussing with him, so he had a number of questions and concerns that he was hoping to have answered. They did a great job. They presented a slideshow, then the head of the program spoke a little about it, then each of the midwives introduced themselves, and answered a FAQ, then they opened it up to Q&A. All of Ryan's questions seemed to be answered, and then they did a tour of the facilities.

I AM SO EXCITED; I almost can't wait to deliver, I am so excited about the whole thing. First of all, it completely secured how I felt about the decision. Basically what their whole thing is, is that they specialize in normal deliveries (and their experience and training is as such), and that physicians specialize in high-risk or abnormal deliveries, and that they all work as a team for the best outcome for you and your baby. And the two priorities are 1. to make sure the baby is ok and 2. that the experience is as positive for you as it can be. I just love that. It is such a stark difference from the glimpse of care that I received at Kaiser for the first 5 months; the RN who saw me there was nice enough, but it was very clear that it was just business as usual when she saw me, and she was following through the daily motions, and I was just another person moving through there; no personalization of care at all. The BC at UCSD is so obviously different, just from the initial apt with the RN at Perlman and from this presentation; you are an individual person, with individual needs; and they concentrate on the here and now with who you are and what you are going through, not on the next person in line behind you. The rooms are so amazing too; they are as large as a large bedroom, not a closet like most hospital delivery rooms, and have a more "home like" feel, so there is more space to move around, you can have more friends and family there if you want... I just cant stop saying enough about it; it is truly the only BC of it's kind in Southern California. Check it out if you want, http://health.ucsd.edu/women/child/facilities/center.htm

So my first apt with my midwife Rita is on Friday. It is one of Ryan's scheduled Fridays off, so he will be able to come, which I am super excited about. The appointments start to get more frequent at this point (every 2 weeks soon, then at some point they go to every week) it will be here the next time I turn around.

Other than that, last week I was dealing with some serious allergies/cold/congestion. It was about the most miserable week for sleep so far in the pregnancy; between my heartburn and my congestion, I was tossing and turning every 10 min it seemed like, and between getting up to go to the bathroom or take more tums or blow my nose, I dont know how I got enough sleep to make it through each day. But I made it through, and besides some residual congestion (which I dont think will go away now, I think this is just plain old pregnancy congestion), I am back up and running... or at least waddling quickly. Less quickly the bigger my tummy gets; small tasks like putting lotion on my legs or putting on shoes and socks are becoming more and more of a feat. Can't wait until I am twice as big!

Named

2009-01-22T12:47:00.000-08:00

Well Ryan and I finally decided on the name, and our little girl is going to be Aurora Lynn Cross. Ella coming in at #17 on the top baby names list of 2008 kind of sealed the deal for me. That being said, Aurora has been moving around, letting me know that she is having fun exploring around. I can even see my belly move if I look at it when she is moving. Ryan doesn't have the patience to wait for 30 seconds for it, and thinks I am making it all up in my head and figures he can just wait until she is "really" moving in a few weeks and he can feel and see her then.

Now that we are past the "basic" baby books (what to expect when you are expecting) I am moving on to the advanced ones on techniques, theories, etc. I am currently reading "On Becoming Baby Wise" which was recommended by one of our faculty at work here, and it was also recommended to Nicole by someone. It is loosely a book on getting your baby on a schedule for sleeping, eating and wake time, ultimately to get them to sleep through the night as early as 8 weeks old. The underlying theme is based on parent-directed behavior, not child-centered or parent-centered. So the focus is that baby is a wonderful addition to the family and that parents take cues from baby but also that baby takes cues back from you too. A family with a strict and ridged schedule with no room for flexibility is not ideal, nor is a family centered solely around the baby with no structure. I am very excited about it and think that it will not only be a lifesaver since we will be working parents and a schedule will be necessary for us to rely on, but also because it is 100% in alignment with the kind of person I want to raise; one who is not selfish or self centered, or is the one who directs every move the family makes, but instead one who understands the meaning of family, and is a happy, content and contributing member of our family. It is amazing to realize that you can can start teaching those kinds of values so young in their life with something as simple as a sleep/eat/awake time schedule.

Recently, as I have been getting recommendations for books, reading up online, finding studies, etc. it dawned on me how scary of an experience having a baby can be for someone who doesn't have any resources... no one to give them advice, no books to read, no google bar to type in whatever thought or symptom pops up for that day. For instance, my Mom. She was a 30 something woman who on a whim bought and moved out to the ranch, in the middle of nowhere to up and run a property. And before she really has it all figured out, she gets pregnant with her first baby. The father is a free spirit, one not to be held down, and one who has no real experience or support to offer his "partner" (if you can even call it that; he was more like a sperm donor at the time and has been a wonderful but non-traditional father figure my whole life). She has no close friends to rely on, or at least any that are within a 10 mile radius for help. Her own mother is estranged and lives on the opposite coast, and is not exactly "open minded" to her lifestyle and choices (the same mother that told her that she should never have kids since she couldn't even keep a fish alive). There is no such thing as the Internet, no easy access to recent studies or sites to have any number of books delivered within days to your doorstep. So with nothing more than a copy of what to expect and a book on spiritual midwifery, she goes through pregnancy and birth and has me on her own. WOW. What a woman. Here we are this day and age being bombarded with advice and info, and all we have to do is pick and choose what we want to accept and what we think is best. Imagine not having any of it, and how scared you would be NOT having that. I am so confident as I go through this because I have read every book, gone to every website, and investigated every study done on every topic that has to do with pregnancy and childbirth. It makes me realize how blessed I am, but also makes me appreciate so very much what people like my Mom may have gone through to get us here.... So here's to you Mom, a big thank you for getting me here and helping to create who I am today, in the face of the unknown!

Big Long Update

2009-01-11T19:42:00.000-08:00

Week 22 (as of Tuesday). Well it's been a while, this might be long... I have been meaning to get something up, but things have been pretty busy at work and home since we got back in full swing after the holidays. And I feel like it's been a bunch of little things, not any one of them enough for a whole entry. So here they all are.

First of all I dyed my hair. For all the haters, http://www.pregnancy.org/article/dying-change-hair-color-and-your-pregnancy. I used a no ammonia, semi-permanent dye. I went back to my "roots" (or at least my Dad's) and am once again a redhead. I probably match Nicole pretty good, but mine does have that bright funky look (aka fake). I love it, I think it brings out my eyes, which are usually too dark blue (more of a grey blue) to look really nice.

Christmas was fun; our little girl got her first gifts. She got a blanket that Cheryl got before we knew the sex so it is neutral colored, a crib set as well as a picture frame and a bunch of adorable clothes from Venissa and more clothes from her sister Cindy. Along with the little collection of stuff that Blake and Alyssa have already given us, we really needed to make some headway in the baby's room. So we finally got rid of the bed (FYI, if you ever want to get rid of something, post it for free on Craig's List... within LITERALLY 30 seconds of posting the bed, there were 3 people calling us about it, and while I was getting back on the computer to delete the posting 2 more people called and someone emailed me.) That sort of spurned a cleanup burst, and our good family friend Steve came over and cleaned our carpets to give us a "clean start". So now we have some room to work with and need to finish sorting out all the rest of the room and the stuff in it, find places for it all somewhere else in the house and go from there.

We registered at BabiesR'Us this last weekend too. That was an experience. I took insisted that Cheryl come with us, even though Ryan wanted to do it on our own. Thank God I had her along, because I would have A. Been lost with what to get (even if you talk to your friends and stuff, it is not the same as going down your checklist of items and having someone right there with you to figure it all out), and B. Would have registered for 5 items in the 2 hours we were there. So it was really good that she came! We figured out the carseat/stroller system, the breastpump/bottle thing, and a lot of basics. We still have a lot to do, but it's at least a start. Anyway, I was really really tired after all this and by the time we got to the furniture section, there were the glider/rockers. I sat down and sank into heaven. Now I was at odds with myself because for my birthday, my Mom had brought down the family solid wood old-school rocker that her and my Dad had used for me, and I had wanted to use it and keep it in the family, etc. Well after sitting in these modern gliders, my body said, "Screw you, this is where it's at." all the while my heart said, "That glider has no sentimental meaning!" Well I ended up deciding that at 3am when I am trying to breastfeed the baby, my heart will be asleep still, and my body will be very angry after a few months if it doesn' t get it's way, so I broke the news to my Mom (I was surprised she was so understanding) and will be sending it back up to the Ranch, and registered for the glider. It will always be there for me at least.

Moving on to baby showers... so excited! After talking with Cheryl about it, we realized there were like 70 people all from different groups, which is way too much for one shower, even a lot for two, so I made up a spreadsheet of all the groups and how many people were in each. We grouped them together in the best way that made sense, and ended up with 3 groups, all 20-25 people each. Awkward, but I had to ask some of my dear friends if they would throw 2 of them, since Cheryl couldn't do all 3 and I was afraid everyone would think someone else was doing one then nothing would actually happen. Lucky me, they were happy to do so, so it is all set now! Cheryl will be doing the shower with her side of the family, Melinda will be doing Rick's side of the family, the ladies from the Medical Center and some ladies from Cheryl's church that know me from the yearly women's retreat, and the 3rd shower for my family and my friends will be planned by Grace (with help from my Mom). I am so happy. March and April are pretty much all filled up now, between all the showers and other events, so the next few months will FLY by.

Then we get to the healthcare front. I switched to UCSD, and had my first appointment last week. I was sooo very happy. It was with a wonderful RN over at Perlman. It was completely different from Kaiser. First of all she took a lot of time with me, went over my records, made sure to answer any questions I had and really made the visit feel personalized. Kaiser (although the RN I was seeing there was very nice) made me feel like just another number, and the visit and how it was handled was clearly "assembly line". My last apt with Kaiser was actually really disappointing; they told me I was gaining weight too fast based on one weigh in at 14 weeks and then this one at 20 weeks, and didnt ask me anything about my diet or exercise before she told me that. I had to remind her that we had the results back from the second big blood test, and also had to remind her that I was switching to UCSD and needed my records. Back to UCSD, the RN was wonderful. The big thing that came out of the appointment was that I didn't realize I really had to choose between the birthing center and picking a midwife, vs. a physician and delivering in labor & delivery. After talking it over with the RN, I still definitely wanted to go with the birthing center. When it comes down to it, my baby is the number one priority, but if my pregnancy is healthy and normal, I want to experience it as raw and natural as possible, at least this first one. I want to see what it is like as it was meant to be. I may make a different decision for subsequent children I birth, but if I didn't do it this way this time, I would always wonder and be disappointed I didn't take the opportunity. Cheryl was with me for this appointment, and we ran into Cory, one of the wonderful lactation nurses at UCSD that we know and love and she made some suggestions for great midwives in the center. Over the next few days, I signed Ryan & I up for some classes, found out when the next "meet the midwives/tour the birthing center" event was and scheduled my first apt with my new midwife, Rita. From everything I have heard from everyone she is high energy, and really wonderful. I think it will be a great fit. I will have to go down to Hillcrest to see her, but that is a small price to pay for good care. My next scheduled apt with UCSD is at 24 weeks, and it is with Rita so we will see how it goes!

Oh, and important to note, I have for sure been feeling her move and kick the last week and a half. It is really wonderful, like my own little inside joke with her (pun intended.) She isn't as active as Luke is for Nicole (maybe it is the difference between boy and girl, or maybe she is just destined to have a night owl for a child and our little girl is just going to sleep all the time like her Daddy) but I can't wait until Ryan can feel the movement and can share it with me.

Well I think that pretty much gets me all caught up. Ok I don't want to go that long again, it is past my bedtime and Ryan has been complaining about the "clickity-click" for the last hour. Good night!

No such thing as sympathy weight gain...

2008-12-29T13:51:00.000-08:00

So Ryan has decided that there is no such thing as sympathy weight gain for the father of the expectant baby...

We were at the mall on Sunday morning, and we needed something to eat before heading up to Temecula for Keira's 1st Birthday Party. We went to McDonalds, and I knew I wanted fries, but the big mac also looked pretty good, so we got the 2 big mac deal with fries to share. I took a few bites of the burger, but it didnt taste as great as I thought it would so I pushed it off to Ryan and stuck with the fries.

Ryan looked at me incredulously and pointing at the burger said, "What is this??? Ok there is no such thing as sympathy weight gain, it's all this!" Later that night I proceeded to taste 3 different kinds of cookies, none of which tasted good enough for me to finish and ended up in Ryan's stomach instead. Obviously there is something to his theory! At least I don't have to worry about my husband starving... :0)

It's a Girl!

2008-12-26T12:56:00.001-08:00

Wow, the last few days have been a whirlwind! Tuesday started off with the marker of 19 weeks pregnant. Ryan and I both had work, and were getting off a little early to head to the big US, which was scheduled for 4:30. First of all I had to have a full bladder (Drink 32 oz of clear liquid 1 hour prior to the apt) which is really hard to tell a pregnant woman to do! We got to Kaiser and found the ultrasound department down in the basement. The rad tech was really nice, and started the US taking all these measurements and pictures of the baby, labeling different things. After like 15 min I am thinking "ok, how long is this going to go on???" I guess there are for more things they are looking for to make sure the baby is developing properly than just "penis or vagina?" Fine with me, but I really have to go pee, and sliding this stick around my stomach with moderate pressure doesn't help things! She did let me go pee after about 20 min (I guess the full bladder not only holds the intestines out of the way but also sort of holds the baby in place, less room for her to wiggle around while they are trying to get certain shots and measurements.) I felt sooo much better after that. The tech was pointing out all these things like the bladder that looked to me more like bad film footage circa the 1960's of a smoke stack than a baby or baby parts of my future child.

So we finally get to the place where they show the bottom side of the baby. (Like you are sitting the baby down on a copy machine), and she is saying, "there are the legs, there is the butt, there is this, that, blah blah blah" all the time my heart is ready to bust through my chest and I am sure that I am going to have a heart attack and I am about to yell "come on lady, what the hell is it???" and she says, "well it looks like a girl to me!" and explains that if it were a boy, there would be some kind of lump between the legs signifying a penis or testes, but the absence of that in combination with the white lines around the crotch area looked like labia to her, so she was about 85% sure it was a girl. Of course there is a possibility that there are boy parts there we are missing. (When I showed the US pictures to Cheryl and told her this, she said, "Oh yeah, its a girl. If it was any son of Ryan's you would be able to tell, trust me!!!" And I can attest to that... ;0) However, it is possible "he" takes after my dad, and then... well we will just say all bets are off.)

*Some Details*

-Heartrate: 147bpm

-12 oz (big girl! I am glad she is gaining her weight, bc I am still on the low end of weight gain)

-~15 cm, or ~6 in

Anyway, we are walking out of the hospital, and I ask Ryan if he is surprised at all... because the whole time I thought it was a girl, and everyone else had their opinions, but he really wasn't willing to guess. He stopped, looked at me like I was crazy, and said very seriously, "Really? You are really asking me that? With your hostile uterus? Come on, Loralyn. Your uterus had a checkpoint set up with big pushy bouncer-women who only let female sperm into the party inside with proper forms of id. All male sperm were turned away at the door. And you think there was any chance it was going to be a boy?"

In all honesty though, I think that a girl will be best for us. I have a special bond with my Mom because of the way I was raised (for any of you who don't know I was a love child, and my Mom wanted a child so "arranged" it with my Dad and raised me on her own, just the two of us until I was 9 and she married my step-dad,) so having a daughter would mean something different to me in a nostalgic way. And for Ryan, who is a very a-typical man (no, I did not say a-sexual) who is not into baseball, football, loud music and big trucks in the way most manly-men are, I think a girl to start with will be better... there will not be the "pressures" to teach and foster the first Daddy and son "let's play catch" moments, etc. He can get practice with a girl for the basics of kids and children (feeding, dressing, bathing, friends, school, etc.), then if our next is a boy he can figure out all the boy stuff instead of having to deal with those basics at the same time.

Ok, so the next step (since Nicole and Jason already bought theirs which is a sure sign and because next week is halfway through the pregnancy and it's all starting to get pretty real for us,) is to find a suitable sleeping container for her, since I think they might call CPS on us if we use one of our spare rubbermaid bins...

Blue or Pink?

2008-12-17T13:28:00.000-08:00

Ok so Laura put up a post with all the wivestales and the results, headed into her big US this week, and I thought it was fun so I am copying her! (Sorry Laura!) As for the results, the jury is still out, as these show 11 Girl, 8 Boy... about the same percentage as the voting results!

1. Heart rate over 140 bpm - GIRL
3. Carrying high(ish?) - GIRL
4. Carrying out front & round - BOY
5. Not craving salt (actually having an aversion to it) - GIRL
6. Tons of morning sickness - GIRL
7. Ring test (side to side) - BOY
8. Chinese gender test - BOY
9. Lots of headaches - BOY
10. Cold feet - BOY
11. Dad not gaining "sympathy" weight - BOY
12. Color of urine - BOY
13. My face not rounder and rosier - BOY
14. Craving fruit & OJ - GIRL
15. Face is breaking out - GIRL
16. Moodier than usual - GIRL
17. Larger left breast - GIRL
18. Won’t eat the heal from a loaf of bread – GIRL
19. You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an odd number – GIRL
20. http://www.babygenderpredictiontest.com/ - GIRL

Turning a New Stone

2008-12-16T14:09:00.001-08:00

18 weeks, and I feel SOOOOOOO much better! I am actually eating now (just in time for the holidays). Some stuff still makes me feel yucky just thinking about it (turkey, chicken, large slabs of meat in general) but all in all, I am ok with food again. HUGE relief. Besides the gagging with tooth brushing, some random stuff that doesnt smell right to me and getting too hungry, the nausea has gone away too. And those headaches that morphed into migraines most evenings? Washed away and only bug me a few times a week now. (It only took me a month and a half into the 2nd trimester to get there.) I feel like a WHOLE NEW WOMAN!

I look like a whole new woman too. I'm poppin like a street hip-hopper. I wonder how long it will be before strangers feel confident enough that I am pregnant enough to comment (as opposed to just being fat). Most people think it is rude to ask someone if they are pregnant for the chance that they may not be, but hey, now that I am pregnant, I am thinking it's rude to NOT ask; because what, you think I am this fat just because I got a head start on the holiday meals? I am offended that you think I could look like this normally and it is not due to a 6 inch squirming fetus swimming in a cantaloupe sized uterus! :0)

Anyway, I have been talking to beansprout telling it to show us what it is next week so Mommy and Daddy can call it a he or she, and call it by name and tell all their friends and family... so hopefully it listens so I can stop calling it IT like an inanimate object.

Ok, well the rest of this week will go by really quickly; a lot going on at work, at home (have to get those xmas letters/cards out), so before I know it it will be a week from now and I will be waiting to leave work in an hour to head to the big US!!! Hopefully I dont have to stretch my bladder in a goodyear blimp to get through it like Nicole did... we will see!

Howdy...

2008-12-11T10:20:00.001-08:00

17 weeks strong... nothing really new with me, but it's been a while, and I do have news! Nicole is going to have a little baby boy!!! I had a feeling it was going to be a boy, so now with me thinking I am having a girl I somehow feel more secure in my guess. We will see. :0) Less than two weeks now, so it won't be long. My nausea is pretty much gone (still random gagging with various triggers, but I don't think that really goes away totally anyway.) and eating is much better; I can go for longer periods of time without eating, so I am up to eating about every 3 hours instead of every 2 hours (Yes that is a HUGE difference!!!). The headaches are bearable now, esp since I got a beauty mask I keep in the fridge and wear on my forehead when it gets bad; hopefully that was the worst of them. AND I gained weight finally! So I am up 4 lbs total from the beginning. I am keeping track of it on an excel spreadsheet, and have created a graph of it. (Uh, I am Ryan's wife, is anyone surprised???). Ryan has been awesome by the way, doing tons of chores, helping around the house, etc. so the next time anyone sees/talks to him they should congratulate him! It is really helpful and makes me appreciate him so much more. Anyway, I think that is about it... I dont think there will be too much more news until the big US unless I start to feel the baby (should be anytime now) so until then...

Russian Roulette of Symptoms

2008-12-01T15:53:00.001-08:00

Week 16. So I feel every morning like I am playing a sick game of Russian roulette with the awful pregnancy symptoms I have encountered. Some days are good, some days are bad. Today, will I get the skull splitting migraine? The "my nose works too good for my own good" nausea? The exhaustion by the end of the day that makes me sad I don't have one of those old person bath tub-spas and a personal attendant to clean me? The "my head is filled with cotton" stuffiness that comes from the increased blood flow to my mucus membranes (didn't someone tell my body there wasn't room for that to begin with?) OR if I am lucky, jackpot, ALL OF THEM!

The migraines are the worst. I am pretty sure they are related to the weather and pressure from the changes from rain to santa anas, 0% humidity to 75%, etc. And it's not like I can take anything for them! (Oh, yes, I can take Tylenol, great. Because that does NOTHING. Might as well give me a placebo pill.) The only thing I can do is go to bed early and hope that it is gone in the morning.

Other than that, I feel much better! Besides the increasing migraines, the other symptoms have been steadily decreasing. I am waiting for me to feel bean sprout in my tummy, should happen any week now! My tummy sure is showing. People have been really good about 'feeling the tummy'. I don't care at all, I'm like, "touch all you want!" but most everyone starts to go for it then catches themselves and asks, "Is it ok if I touch it?", so that is good for all those mothers who DO care.

Another thing. Ryan and I are so not getting into the buying, decorating, planning thing yet... I have cleaned the house a bit, started moving stuff around in the baby's room but we have not purchased one outfit, one piece of baby furniture or had one discussion about baby room theme, color or otherwise yet... and I somehow dont think we will? Does this mean part of my mommy instinct is out of wack? Or maybe our 'cheapness' is coming across and I am pawning it off as being 'practical'. I dont know. I figure I can just throw the baby in a dresser drawer, and wrap her (yes, her I am convinced it is a girl) in scraps of old sheets. Juuuuuust kidding. :0)

Decisions, Decisions... and Opinions!

2008-11-26T12:22:00.000-08:00

Isnt' it amazing how strong everyone's opinions are about things during pregnancy? Everything from dying your hair while pregnant to what you should eat and how the birth should go. After all the reading and research I am doing, I have come to terms with it all; as long as the parents are well informed and realize what decisions they are making I am happy! (It drives me crazy when people just decide or let something happen as it will without being informed). I will point out some good resources if I can but after all, its their choice! What with all of these people I know that are pregnant the same time as me, I have mixed feelings about various of their choices about things, but as long as they feel its right for them and their dr agrees, I am happy that they are comfortable with their decision even if I dont agree. And let's face it, it doesn't really matter what I think! It's their choice, not mine!!!

This has been hard for me because I am someone with such strong opinions and I have had to realize that mine is not "right" its just different and my opinion is only right for me and Ryan. I am truely blessed that I am with someone who has the same thoughts and opinions as me on these things; at least I am not fighting with him at all. We sort of go, "I was thinking X" and the other says, "Yeah, me too", OK good, next issue.

I mean with all this stuff, pretty much the deal is that your baby will still be fine, but if you do this or that it may up the chances of this or decrease the chances of that... so it may not even have any effect on the outcome at all!

Here are a few you may know or not know:

Expectant mothers who eat nuts or nut products like peanut butter daily during pregnancy increase their children's risk of developing asthma by more than 50 percent over women who rarely or never consume nut products during pregnancy http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/114901.php
Babies born four months before the peak cold and flu season have a 30 percent higher risk of developing asthma http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27839958/
A study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition shows that breastfed infants tested 5.2 IQ points higher than formula fed infants http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/iq_study.html
Children raised in a house with two or more dogs or cats during the first year of life may be less likely to develop allergic diseases as compared with children raised without pets http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/08/27/earlyshow/health/health_news/main519978.shtml

Sometimes it does make a difference, so now as parents we just have to weigh the risks and benefits, and try to do what's best for our kids and concentrate on things that are more likely to make a differnce and not sweat the things that are less likely, you know? (I had sprouts once during the pregnancy. Dont tell anyone! lol) I think I am starting [its a long learning process] to lighten up on how much energy I put into caring about other's decisions. And that is a lesson to learn in everyday life, not just in pregnancy.

Fun at the Emergancy Room

2008-11-24T12:16:00.000-08:00

So at like 8pm last night I started to get a really bad stomach ache at the top of my stomach and it just got worse and worse so 2 hours later we finally went to the Emergency Room. They took a urine sample, blood, and the Dr. examined me. Since everything felt fine (soft abdomin and I didnt have any sharp pains and it was higher), he thinks it was either something I ate or a stomach bug going around.

They did an ultrasound just to make sure the baby was ok and it was AMAZING. You can see the face, the spine, it was a beautiful profile. Bean sprout was sucking it's thumb and kicking around like crazy. Dr. said the heartbeat was strong, about 155/min. It was nice bc Ryan was there for it this time! I think it made it a little more real to him to SEE something that looked like a little human inside me even though I am not [that] huge yet. I was still in really bad pain so they gave me some morphine while they were waiting for the lab work to come back and that helped (I would hope so, right???). I was worried about taking it but they called OB to make sure it was ok and they said it was. Labs came back normal, but my potassium was low, so I need to eat more bananas he said. We finally got discharged at like 1:30 so I am very tired today.

I am mostly just glad everything is ok! You know everything is probably fine but in the back of your head you wonder what if...

Wahoo, Week 14 Cleared.

2008-11-20T09:36:00.000-08:00

We won't be able to tell for a long time, but I really wonder what bean sprout is going to look like. With Ryan and I looking so very different, I always have wondered what traits our children will get. My light skin and eyes? My short & stocky stature? My artistic and social tendancies? Or Ryan's olive skin and dark eyes? His height and slender build? His scientific mind and thoughful nature? It's a true crapshoot. With genes like that, matching of genetic mutations has as much as much of a chance as getting struck by lightening, thank goodness.

Yesterday I had another appointment. All that initial genetic testing turned out fine, and they do some more follow up labs next week. My RN said the baby is just where it should be in my abdomen, and while it took her a while to find the heartbeat, when we did, there it was; "Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh". And only one, so I think chances I am just huge because of twins I think are diminshed. My Mom asked how fast it was, and she said about 160. My Mom is now happliy convinced I am having a girl. (Even though the whole heartbeat thing is a COMPLETE wivestale.) However, if true, Nicole and I are both having a girl, since hers is at 160/min too!

I am... the Starship Enterprise

2008-11-14T11:29:00.000-08:00

Week 13. I am now convinced that my body is not my own anymore. It is property of the 3 inch bean sprout growing in my stomach. Like a bad made-for-sci-fi movie, some alien parasite found it's new home inside my uterus and is now controling all of my bodily functions. And most of the time what it wants my body to do is not what I want it to do. At least current research has shown this alien bean sprout's time is numbered, and will not need it's host body anymore in another 6 months.

Until then, I deal with gagging at the most common of smells or anything hitting that back region of my mouth, a sense of smell so sensitive that I can smell the shampoo of someone walking in front of me that I can't even see, more than frequent urination, aversion to food in general, sharp pains in my stomach anytime I sneeze or cough (stretching of the muscles from what I understand), and the necessary change from thongs to granny panties. *Note to self* Add to the Costco list; Jumbo pack of bikini cut madinforms.

Still have not gained a pound, yet I look like I've gained 10. I put away all of my "skinny" clothes, since that was a lost cause. This morning I went to put on my fattest fat pants, and they didnt fit. Gave in to the one pair of maternity pants I have. (Yes they fit. Don't laugh, and think "if she's already this big now..." I know you are.)

The good news is that I have gotten a good portion of my energy back, just like they said I would. I can actually cook a meal now, and clean up after it within 24 hours. Good thing too, because Ryan was about to starve to death. I think our neighbors the Kruzes were about done feeding an extra mouth for dinner [when I just wasn't interested, or was perfectly fine with a bowl of cereal.]

I'm thinking about starting up walks, stretching, prego yoga, exercises, kegals... all those fun active prego activities that they say are so great for you. I'll let you know how it goes!

When Will This be Over?

2008-11-07T09:59:00.000-08:00

Week 12. Well I don’t feel as weak anymore, but I still feel awful. Food is my enemy. I am gagging over everything and if I go too long without eating, I get sick to my stomach. It’s the worst at night. I woke up at 2am starving. I ate a cracker but it was too late already and I threw up. Dinner was long since digested, so it was just bile and a cracker, but still wasn’t fun! I ate more crackers after with some water and was fine till morning.

They put me on antibiotics; found bacteria in my urine from the last labs. They asked me if I had any symptoms. Stupid question; You mean the increased urge to urinate, not being able to empty completely, discharge and cloudy urine? Kind of like the EXACT same ones as being pregnant???

Still tired by 8pm and going to bed by 9pm. What with the whole food thing though I am getting up earlier though. Good anyway, since I changed my hours at work to 7:30-4. I like the schedule much more. Doesn’t take that much more to get ready in the morning, avoid a crapload of traffic and I get off at 4!!!

I swear there is a baby boom going on though, first there was me and Nicole (who is 2 weeks ahead of me), then I found out my hairdresser is a week ahead of me, and then friends from the Kings River are 2 days apart from me.

I need to go shopping for new clothes this weekend; don’t fit in anything (comfortably at least) anymore. Dresses, tights and uggs will be my friend for the winter time.

Who Stole my Body and Took it Over?

2008-10-22T09:58:00.000-07:00

Week 10. Well, doing better… sort of. Started showing at 9 weeks. Bloated and round. Have not gained though; still 3 lbs down from the beginning. I told my Dr. boss yesterday, and the rest of the staff today. Cat’s out of the bag! Also scheduled my UCSD visit for Jan (when I switch insurance from Kaiser).

Still feeling very weak and physically exhausted all the time. Been gagging a lot. Threw up for the first time on Saturday. Not feeling as nauseas as weeks 6 & 7 though.

Can’t wait to feel better, to start cooking, cleaning and walking again. The house is a mess, I miss cooking and I know the fresh air would be good for me.

Doesn't Look Like Much...

2008-10-07T12:58:00.000-07:00

Ok so this is it! Doesnt look like much, but it proves it's there. Ryan couldnt make it to this appointment (the first one at 8 weeks) but my Mom came with me. I started talking to the RN about my symptoms and such, and my Mom (God love her) says, "yeah, yeah, yeah, so when do we get to the point where we actually make sure she is pregnant? All of this is just a waste of time if she's not." Both the RN and I look at her like she is crazy. Yeah, Mom, like I am having all these stymptoms for nothing, and the pregnancy test was just kidding about giving a positive reading. I think things were different in her day when preg tests happened at the Dr.'s office, not at home on a strip test. She was also surprised that they did an ultrasound at the first apt too.

BTW, its a vaginal ultrasound (I am sure the little bean sprout is too small to see with a belly US). So pretty much it's a big dildo with a condom on it that is way more comfortable than getting a pap-smear. I'll take the VUS anyday. I wonder if at the next apt they will do one too. I am sure they will do a US I just dont know what kind. I'm sure they will find the heartbeat with the doppler thing. That one is on 11/19. Ryan can't make it bc of work, which is kind of sad. But he will be there for the official US in radiology on 12/23 when we find out the sex of the baby. What a great X-mas gift, right?

First Appointment

2008-10-06T09:58:00.000-07:00

8th week, tomorrow is my first apt! I am very excited. The apt will make everything more real to me. The nausea has subsided, but I still have an aversion to food in general, and my stomach is so small! I can eat about half what I used to before getting full and I eat way more slowly. I am being good with my vitamins though so the little one is getting what she needs.

Speaking of she; Erik, Carol and my Mom all think I will have a boy. Me, Ryan and my friend Dave C. think it’s going to be a girl. We will see! I made a $5 bet with Erik.

My clothes are uncomfortable, even though I’m not really bigger yet. I do look bloated though. Every day I can’t wait to just get home and change into a nighty or a tank and sweats.

Ugh, those 2 weeks of morning sickness were the WORST. Hope it’s all over.

Cat is Out of the Bag... Sort Of

2008-09-16T09:56:00.000-07:00

I told my boss today. She was very happy for me, and excited too, which was nice! I am a little afraid to tell my Dr. Boss, but we will see how he takes it!