Changing Times and Tides!

Now the Ryan and I are past the baby hump, it seems like it has all gone by so fast. Ill have to do a top 10 most significant things that have happened to us this year soon. Anyway, Abby is 10 months old!!! I cant believe my little baby is almost a year old. Her teeth have been coming in like gang busters. The whole top row was showing white and was a race to the finish. First up was her top middle right. Then the middle left. And just a week ago was the one next to the top right. How the left one is coming in too. She has been sleeping much better through the night now that they have come through. She also took her first steps on Rory's birthday, at Cheryl's house for their birthday celebration. 3 unsure steps before falling down. She had much more capability than she has the confidence for, but it didn't take her long; yesterday she started walking! Legit, full fledged toddling balancing walking between people and things! For the record, I said she would be walking by Memorial Day. Her hair is getting much lighter but is still brown, and has this one long clump right up on top that is several inches long while the rest is not even an inch. She has the baby comb-over where Rory had the baby mullet. She is a very happy baby overall and flaps her arms and legs enthusiastically when she is excited. Mostly when she sees me, or is being held by me. I almost need a helmet for protection.She also loves climbing up the stairs, and has a knack for getting to the top before you even notice she has started doing it. Although she is pretty good about going down feet first facing the stairs on her own, for obvious reasons we are trying to re-set habits of putting up the gate when we are in the house. Diane admitted to us that in addition to having the nastiest smelling poop she has ever experienced, her unhappy crying is the most ear piercing, un-ignorable one she has had too. Always striving to be the best at something, even if it is an undesirable trait, us Cross women.Ryan just took both girls to the doctor for their check ups and Abby was at 15 lbs, Rory at 27.

Rory's 3rd birthday at Disneyland was a success, and she thoroughly enjoyed the day.  I did not thoroughly enjoy going to California Adventure specially for the new Little Mermaid ride to find out it was closed, and Ryan did not thoroughly enjoy waiting in line for over an hour to get aprox 15 seconds with 3 Disney princesses, one of which gave Rory the once over and an internal eye roll when she found out that "Aurora" was her name. But the day was about Rory, so even though we didnt get on all the rides WE would have liked to, or get in at opening or stay until closing, it was exactly what it was supposed to be. Thanks to her friend Luke, she got her face painted and a princess wand that lights up in the dark. She is still unsure however, whether the experience was worth giving up the pacifier or not though.She asks for it often, and for the first week without it was very moody and easy to upset, even during the day and at times other than when she normally got the pacifier (like bedtime and in the car). We have stayed strong though, and this second week has been much better. She is doing great with the potty too. She has a few accidents here and there - times when she wets her undies a little if we dont ask her often enough or once in a while with the pooping since she seems to have trouble holding it until she gets to the potty if she has the urge.Those are pretty gross and I usually pretend I'm busy doing something else and cant get it. I know my secret is safe here since Ryan doesn't read my blog. Muahahahaha! So she is only in diapers overnight. Most of the time if it is not convenient we don't even put one on for her nap times.

Skye and Danielle's little man Axel made his appearance on May 9th after a stressful accident occurred the day before (a drunk driver took out both Skye's Corolla and his Jeep). I guess our family is all about the sharing of birthdays, because the 9th is Danielle's mom's birthday (and Ryan's mom's brother's birthday as well). Danielle delivered at UCSD and did an awesome job, as tired and in pain as she was; Axel was 22 inches long and 9 lbs, 4 oz - the first scale was broken and said 7 lbs; one look at the kid and they should have known that was wrong. Anyway, he totally has Skye and Wayne's dimpled chin, and apparently has the lightest blue eyes. We only got to see him so far in the hospital and for Mother's Day, and rightfully so everyone let him stay in his mommy's arms and he slept most of the time. But I cant wait to check out those eyes for myself!

Then there is me. My lunchtime running has had its tribulations, that is for sure. First I had the ankle and knee pain. Looked it up. Started doing exercises (ankle rotations and toe rises) to help it out. Good to go. Then came the hip pain. Looked it up/talked to cousin Nathan who is training for a marathon. Likely cause from adding too much distance on too soon. Great. Lay off the distance, pay attention when it starts to hurt, do lots of stretching and more stretching... well I think Im finally at a good place and have built up my muscles and ligaments and feel pretty strong overall. On Tuesday I was able to do my whole [shortened] run without walking at all, no pain during or after. So Ill continue that for the next week or two and then add on distance slowly. I would also like to try to do the run 3 times a week, but we will see if that is feasible! As far as my weight is concerned, it seems to have leveled at ~134 (just over or just under depending on the day) and I now fit in ALL of my pre-pregnancy clothes, which is freaking awesome.I also did measurements since I had taken them from when I did P90X and I had lost several inches everywhere from my biggest after delivering to now. Ill do a separate post at some point with before and after pics in the same clothes I did with P90X and put down the measurements.

There is only so much time in the day!

The Start of Summer Fun

Its that time of year... the time where the hint of summer is right around the corner, and its time to start planning for all the fun summer stuff... and you get all excited just thinking about it all!

Monday we are taking the day off to take Aurora to Disneyland for her birthday. We are excited to see the joy of the park through her eyes. She has never been before, so it will be a really special treat. We are also taking away the pacifier - Disneyland is supposed to be the consolation prize. Upon the suggestion of my dear friend (who is also the manager of a dental office) it was time to give up the paci, and the perfect story to go with it: The paci fairy is coming to take all the pacifiers from you to bring them to all the other little babies who dont have any at all. Venissa also got Aurora a soft Ariel doll for her birthday that she has really taken to and so we are hoping she can stand in to settle her when she is inconsolable. So when she goes to bed on Sunday night, we are going to help her get all her pacifiers together for the fairy then when she wakes up on Monday we go to Disneyland! Abby is teething (getting THREE top teeth all at once and they are coming in SLOWLY) so I hope she is not too fussy for our trip. And Ryan is already mapping out the bathrooms in the park since Aurora has been in panties during the day for a while now, and only gets diapers or pull ups at naptime and at night.

First off we have memorial day extended weekend with favorite friends and family (especially the Schott's), then of course we have Abby's 1st birthday party, which we are having at Chuck and Carol's. We got a jumpy house, and are going to set up a do it yourself face painting station. We keep going back and forth on doing a taco cart caterer vs. getting local taco shop fare and setting it up ourselves buffet style. The price difference is going to be several hundred dollars, which is significant!

After that we have a shorter camping trip planned with the Landis's (who we regrettably see little of now days due to them living in Fallbrook, and Jennifer's crazy pharmacist schedule), and our BIG camping trip planned with Nathan & Melinda to the Grand Canyon and Zion in August.

New Lease On Life

I feel like my old self (pre kids) again. Its incredible what this diet and getting back to running has done for my spirit, attitude, and outlook. It’s a beautiful, challenging and interesting run, and every time I get out I think how blessed I am to be able to do that on my lunch break. Who else can just step outside their office and within minutes be on the beaches of La Jolla with the cool wind at their back urging them on??? The running has really catapulted my weight loss too. I had hit a plateau of about 135 with diet alone, and now with the running I’ve actually been able to loosen up on the diet a little and have still been losing weight – today’s weigh in was my lowest yet, at 132.8. (Although I did donate blood on Tuesday; how much does a pint of blood weigh? Lol. Maybe it just burns a lot of calories to make it back up?) And I can tell my body is toning up again; its not a soft 133, it’s a firmer, stronger 133. I actually put on my “skinny” jeans (you know the expensive nice ones from years back that you have not fit in forever but you will never get rid of no matter what) and they actually fit me! Now I couldn’t wear them with a snug fitting tank top, but I could wear them with a flowy top. Improvement! Especially since the last time I put them on I looked like a blimp. Ill do a later posting with before and after pics.

Our Jeep finally has an ETA: Friday the 13^th. LOL. Fitting, right? I swear it will never be here. Its been just “two weeks” away for so long I feel like I don’t really believe that its actually going to be in our household!

Abby is continuing to progress, and now says mama. Now while this was her first sound, it does seem that she associates it with me. Being such a mama’s girl its no surprise. She also is starting to try to imitate us with other sounds. Shes for sure a chunkier monkey than Aurora was, and is in solid 6 month old stuff, although she can fit in some smaller stuff and some larger stuff. She is still a great eater, although she really wants to be eating with us and feeding herself. She is a food gourmet. Although she is not picky about much, if it tastes like crap, she wont eat it. We tried a bunch of baby food on our camping trip last weekend and she wouldn’t eat any of the savory flavors. I cant blame her, they are nasty. She is nursing well still too. I leave my pump at work now, and just pump twice a day at work, and otherwise nurse her at home and that’s it.

She has been teething like crazy too, and many nights needs Tylenol around 3pm. Its so sad to hear her whimpering and whining in pain. It sounds so pitiful since normally her crying is so loud, demanding and pissed off sounding. But I cant tell which teeth are bothering her, since you cant really see any that are really close to breaking the surface. She just has her father’s tolerance for pain, poor thing. While she is behind where Aurora was at this age (she will be 9 months old next week) for some milestones like clapping, waving, etc. she is totally blowing us away with her physical milestones. She has been standing unassisted for a few seconds at a time for a week or two now, even though she is unsure when she does it and slowly lowers herself back to the ground as if she was scared of falling and standing on a small rock at 100 feet up. Aurora was walking about a month after she started standing unassisted, so we will see how long it takes Abby! She’s a total joy though and laughs like crazy when you play with her or tickle her. Aurora absolutely adores her and dotes on her as much as an almost 3 year old could have patience for.

Aurora’s potty training is going well now that Ryan and I are on the same page. It wasn’t going well while we disagreed on how ready she was and whether to put her in diapers, pull ups, or panties and in what situations. But now we are both committed to getting her there, and she goes to the sitter in panties, stays dry all day (pull up at naptime) and then stays in them until bed when we put her size 4 diapers on. As long as we have her try every hour or so she doesn’t have accidents, but has yet to poop in the potty, so that will have to come in its own time. She continues to crack us up with her sense of humor. She jokes around all the time with us, and she is great at playing pretend. Her favorite color is definitely pink. Dora the Explorer has a larger place in her heart than Spongebob. She’s become a picky eater who will eat a boatload of something one day then not want it at all the next. If you don’t find the one thing she is in the mood for, she just wont eat. But she does have some staples that she normally wont turn down; olives, prunes, cheese, yogurt, French fries with ketchup (much to my disgust), and peanut butter. She is in size 6 shoes, and 2T most everything (3T shirts though).

With the turn of spring we have to get a plan together for the girls’ birthdays. After talking to Aurora about what she wanted to do, and taking everything else into consideration, we decided that we are going to take a day off and take Aurora to Disneyland for her birthday, then throw a huge party for Abby’s 1^st. We didn’t want to do two big parties just two months apart (too overwhelming), and Aurora really wanted to go to Disneyland. She has never been, and we feel she is old enough to actually enjoy the trip. She’s still free (big bonus) and my Aunt can get Ryan and I free tickets (double bonus), so to have a low key enjoyable birthday celebration for Aurora that is practically free, and that she will appreciate as much or more than a big party is awesome! And since we will be throwing the typical huge 1^st birthday party for Abby, she and we will still get to see all of our friends and family there.

Turning Point

I feel like I have regained a part of my former self. Its not much, but its something, and that little bit makes all the difference in the world. Last week, for the first time in nearly a year and a half, I went running. I took my lunch break and did a part of the run across campus and down to blacks beach that I used to do. It was amazing. It was exhilarating. It was energizing. It was freeing. I feel as if I have taken a piece of myself back, seeing as how I have been giving ALL of myself to my family for the last 4 years.

Today I did the same, and it was just as wonderful. I felt like crying out in joy from the street and smiling at everyone I passed. I wanted to dance and wave my arms about as I went along, but the flat parts where I physically could do that were too public and I would have looked like a loony toon, and the parts that were isolated I was otherwise sucking air so hard it was all I could do to not collapse. But it was much easier this second time, and I went further. I plan on doing this at least once a week, and hopefully twice. Once summer comes around Im hopeful that Ryan will put the girls to bed himself and let me cut out at like 7pm a few nights a week to do my run. This way it will be cooler and still a little light out.

It is good timing, as I have hit a plateau with my weight loss and the weight watchers. I have lost 5 lbs total on it, and am currently at about 135 lbs. I would LOVE to get down to 130 and stay there as an average (not getting above 133 after a bad weekend or event). And that isn’t going to happen just with diet alone. Speaking of WW and the diet, its going great. I love it still and I have made some significant changes in our eating habits. Lots more fruits, veggies, salads and soups around, less heavy foods. Ryan is not happy, and has lost weight, but he just needs to make sure that he is getting enough “real” food for his body, since Im concentrating on low fat, low carb meals and dishes.

The girls are great, and we have reached a tipping point. First, the Jeep is coming. They said it would take 4-6 weeks, and this week is the 6^th week and it is still in production. So much for their estimate. Ryan and I are very anxious about it and every time I have to manually unlock each of the four doors of the Corolla with my purse, multiple bags and a baby in my arms I think longingly of the day when we will have automatic locks on the Jeep. Every time I get stuck in stop and go traffic and one foot is permanently on the clutch and the other on the gas and my hand on the stick I look forward to the Jeep’s automatic transmission. And each time I have to plug my phone in and strap it to the sun visor to talk hands free while on the road I can’t wait for the Jeep’s top of the line navigation and blue tooth system. And if I am eager, I cant even imagine what Ryan is going through.

Second is that Abby is really stepping it up (literally). It must be all the bigger kids that are around to push her and her inherent personality combined. She is a master of crawling, pulling herself up to standing and even transferring between items. When she gets really excited she flaps her arms about like she is going to take off, which I have likened to Ryan’s act of rubbing his hands together when he too, gets excited. About a month ago (at about 7 months old) I noticed that she was not wanting to nurse right after getting home, and when she woke up for the 11pm / midnight feeding she was not nursing vigorously and not for very long. Between those two things I decided that she was not needing that nursing – even though she still has not taken the bottle since the new year – and set in for a few tough nights of crying it out. It was easier for me than Ryan, and he had to go downstairs (Abby has a ear piercing, screetching cry that when she really gets going, is impossible to ignore). But after those two nights, she had given up on that feeding and was only waking up for the 3-6am feeding, when she actually was nursing well. That was heaven for a week, then she got sick and had a relapse. After that she was not nursing at all for 24 hours, and I realized she was getting too much food. So we stopped feeding her as much for dinner (“only” 3 cubes of food + cereal & milk instead of the same with 6 cubes), and that worked like a charm. She has been nursing much better when I am with her.

And lastly, Rory is just a sweet little dream and is finally potty training! Out of nowhere she just started telling us she had to go potty! So shes on pull ups during the day and diaper at night. Mostly peeing on the potty during the day, much less in the diaper overnight, but still pooping in the pullups/diaper. When you ask her why she doesn’t poop in the potty she says “cause it hard poop in the potty!” I’m assuming that means that the urge to pee is easier for her to hold off on but she takes after her daddy in the #2 department, and when it is time to go poop, there is no stopping it. She’s also really picking up on everything we say, and we have to start watching ourselves. She called me a “stupid woman” the other day when I did something she didn’t like. I didn’t even realize it but Ryan took responsibility for that one; I guess he says that to me often in jest. But its so much fun to engage her in our conversations and talk to her about her day, our day, what is going on, explain things to her and why things are the way they are and see the light bulb go on for her.

So there you have it; ways in our life that are finally coming together and giving us a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel.

This weekend is going to be tough – Ryan is going to Chicago for Blake’s graduation from Navy bootcamp and he’ll be gone from 5:30am on Thursday until Sunday afternoon when I pick him up. I’ll be off on Thursday to take Rory to the Dr but Friday will be getting both girls up and to the sitter for work and picking them up after all by myself. Yikes! But I know that coming back Ryan will 1. Appreciate us girls, having missed us for so many days 2. Appreciate a non-snoring sleeping partner, as he will be rooming with his mom who is the WORST snorer you have ever met 3. Appreciate living in San Diego, as Its supposed to be freaking cold – high of 39 – on Friday (the actual graduation ceremony).

In other news Im so excited my cousin Jay and his wonderful wife Leizel had their baby girl, Lila on Sunday. It was so awesome because we had planned on visiting them for the day anyway on Sat, and we arrive to find out that she has been having Braxton Hicks since 2 in the morning. They got stronger and closer as the day went on, and it became clear that she was going into labor and would be having the baby that very weekend! We finally had to leave to get the girls and ourselves in bed at 8pm that night, and by then her contractions were only 30-60 seconds long but had gotten about 2 and a half min apart. They ended up getting really intense in the hour after that, and they went to the hospital after that. Her water broke in the early morning, and was fully dilated and ready to push by like 2am. At 3:10am, Lila Henley Spear was born at 7 lbs 15 oz, 19.5 inches long via VBAC. I was so happy for them, proud of her, and pleased to have been part of the experience. I cant wait to spend the next few years with them in San Diego as our kids grow together.

Its All About the Weight

Inspired by friends, family and famous people all on Weight Watchers, I joined their online program. Today is my second day. I'm starving. But in a good way. Let's backtrack though.

I'm down to my pre-pregnancy weight of 140. But thats not enough. I have not been able to work out at all, so thats a 'soft' 140, not a lean mean built 140. And while places that got thin from my horribly sick 1st trimester - like my legs and face - look pretty good, my stomach is still bigger than pre-pregnancy. And since thats the largest part on me anyway, even though I'm back to my 'normal' weight, I dont fit in all my old clothes.

Whats more is that since high school, I have been slowly creeping up in weight to where I am now. The lowest I ever remember being was 104, when I was a freshman in high school and was wrestling. Of course this was, for the most part, before real puberty. I was about 117 when I graduated high school. I was extremely fit, as I was active in sports all year round. From there, while in college I maxed out at about 147 during the worst of my pizza at 2am + no exercise days. I got active again after that and dropped back down to about 133, which is where I was when Ryan and I got married. Since getting married and having kids, I've settled back down to the 140 I am at right now.

Well that is not ok with me. I dont want to continue gaining a pound (or more) a year, and end up obese by the time I'm middle aged. I want to still be fit, healthy and sexy when I am (gasp) middle aged, only 10 years from now! I want to still be active with Ryan, be able to do the kind of backpacking and hiking we did when we first met, and still feel sexy enough for a romp on the trail (as opposed to feeling like a beached whale struggling to flop up the mountain).

While I can't really do too much about the exercise right now - that is whole other story - I CAN do something about my intake and therefore my weight.

I also have another reason to care about the food I eat: It is also the food I prepare for my family. Ryan is a lost cause (he grew up on cereal for 2 out of 3 meals a day, and his mother tricked his dad into eating soy beans by calling them 'baby lima beans'. As far as he is concerned, vegetables are a waste of valuable stomach space that you could be filling with carbs), but I CAN teach my girls about what real (vs processed) food is, and how to prepare and eat it. And more importantly, how it fuels the body and gives it all the nutrients it needs to be strong and vibrant.

I'm proud to say that Rory cooks dinner with me every night now, and probably can name more fruits and vegetables by sight in their raw, natural state than many adults across the nation today.

But....

I know the portions I eat are too much. I know that I eat things that even as I am eating them I think dont taste good enough to be worth eating - and I still eat them anyway. I know that I eat past the point of being full many times just because it is on the plate. I know that I go back for second, third or forth servings of something really deliciously bad at a weekend event even though I KNOW it will cause me to gain back every pound I fought so hard to loose during the work week. I know I still cook with a little too much butter... too much cream... too much cheese... too much of the yummy bad stuff. My weight proves there is improvement to be made in these ways. So when I looked into weight watchers and found out that I could do it online for only $20 a month, and Ryan was supportive when I talked to him about it, I jumped on it.

Why do I think this will work better than a journal or any other diet? Its all about an allotment and tracking. See its impossible if I make a pasta dish for me to calculate out how many calories are in my one serving. And by the time dinner rolls around, all I have is my stomach to tell me if I have already had a lot to eat that day and need to go easy on dinner (not so reliable when it sees that Ryan makes double batches of brownies for breakfast on his day off). So Weight Watchers is perfect, because they have this really great "recipe builder" tool on their site to calculate that all out for you. Granted its not the easiest thing in the world but its good enough for an internet savy person to find what they need and figure out the point values of what you are eating given some time. And nearing the end of my second day, it's awesome because I now have a hard LIMIT to follow for how much to eat. I can do that!

Crazy Abby

My crazy youngest daughter has in the last 2 weeks (in her 6th month):

1. Gone from sitting propped up to being able to sit up herself from laying down.
2. Started pulling herself up to standing.
3. Cut her first teeth - bottom two - and has been MISERABLE through it.
4. Started eating real food, and savors every bite. She really wants to eat what we are and fingerfood, but gets so hungry she 'settles' for baby food and gobbles it down.
5. Outgrown her size 1-2 diapers and is now in full 2's.

6 Months? Already?

Wow. On the 10th - less than a week from now - my baby girl will be 6 months old. Ill give that a second to sink in. 6 months. Ive been spending so much time trying to get through what I imagine to be the toughest year of my parenting life, half of that year has snuck up from behind me and bopped me on the head. I mean, really? Abby was just born. 6 months ago. Ok, ok, moving on.

I do feel as if we are getting things down and at least half of the time I have things borderline under control. We have settled into a routine with Abby, and know what her triggers are, and try to avoid them at any cost. (The wrath of Abby is not something to mess with or joke about. Its serious. Its shrill. Its loud. It makes your skin crawl and your stomach churn.)There are two things that always make her happy, no matter what. 1. The carrier. My Ergo has become our best friend, as well as anyone who is helping with her. 2. My breasts. This girl LOVES to nurse.

I want to talk about it a little bit, because its become probably the most important part of my life at this time. Abby loving to nurse is special to me. Rory didnt. In fact, after I went back to work she weaned herself and stopped breastfeeding at all, except for the early morning feeding when she was really relaxed and sleepy. My production slowly decreased and 5 long months of pumping after returning to work, my production was not worth my time pumping and I stopped. Abby is a different story. In fact, recently she has gone on a bottle strike. She has refused to drink anything from the bottle for Ryan for an entire day, for Cheryl for 4 hours, and now even Diane, for 2 days now. She just waits until I get back to her, then wants to nurse every few hours. It keeps me up at night, and Im tired, but if Im being honest with myself, I have to admit that I LOVE it. Abby is my baby. And she loves me. She loves me more than anything else. (Well, she loves my boobs, but they are a part of me.) Sometimes when I am away from her my boobs actually ache and itch for her to be in my arms, sucking away. And when she is in my arms, it just feels right. Everything is as it should be in that moment.

I have decreased my pumping. Being back at work now for three months, and my production only slowing as I have wanted it to, I feel secure. So I only pump twice a day at work, and then not at all when I am with her (unless it gets out of control and I have to pump some off just to release some pressure). I have given away half of my storage (all from August and some from September) and I am thinking that I might not ever need any of it.

She is also about this close to crawling. She is full on army crawling, and if you put her down on the ground and turn around, she will be clear across the other side of the room. If you prop her up she can sit up for a few seconds without falling and if you stand her up against something she will stand there for several seconds before she looses her balance and falls down. This girl is determined to be on the go.

Aurora is still no closer to being potty trained. We have given up, and just try to ask her as often as we can if she wants to use the potty. I guess it will happen when it happens. I know I could train her bootcamp style - if I had an undivided weekend with my full attention to spend. But I dont, so screw it. Its the same with weaning her from her paci.

Abby turning 6 months old also means we are one step closer to our next vehicle, which is going to be a Jeep. Probably in a year from now. The accident with the Mazda was probably the best thing in the world for us - noting that Ryan was totally unharmed from it. For one thing, we realized that we didnt need a second vehicle. The second thing we realized was that the Mazda was a great people/town vehicle, and a good option for a "family" vehicle, but it wasnt the ideal one for us. And finally, with it being totaled we were able to reassess our situation and really look at what we needed and wanted in one. We had already known that a large part of the family that we want to raise our girls in is a traveling, outdoorsy family. We want to camp and hike. All the time. We want to take lots of road trips. We want to visit the great outdoors. And we dont want to do it in a touristy, crowded, paved kind of way. We want to do it in an off road way - take the road less traveled. So with hours hunched over crazy Ryan spreadsheets, and after countless talks before bedtime, and after work car talks in our too-small-for-a-family-of-4-Corolla researching every other vehicle on the market that could possibly meet our needs (and wants, hopes and dreams for our active family lifestyle) we have decided that a Jeep is where it is at. We are excited to for once have something to religiously save for (instead of just doing it to be judicious with our money - which is what we normally do), and very much looking forward to this next stage in our lives. It symbolizes freedom to us. Because it means that we finally have our own family to do what we want - instead of being a part of someone elses and doing what they want.

Rory Stories

I have lots of updates but for now, a quick fun update on Rory. She is talking so much and being so fun with it!

This morning I told her she was a "smart cookie". She said, "me not cookie, me gurl!"

Yesterday at Blake and Keira's party she was wearing some stick on earrings. I told her to show Daddy her earrings, which she did. He replied in a mad voice, "WHOOOO has earrings?!?!?!"
"Keira!"
"Who else?"
"Mommy!"
"Well then what are those in YOUR ears???"
"Stickers."

Love it. Not even 3 and already spinning the story. lol!

Cross Christmas Letter 2011

(Not as pretty as the formatted one, but...)

Well, if you had not noticed, its been two years since we checked in with many of you. I am writing this letter after consulting with my blog and our calendar… since there is no way in heck my mommy brain would remember all of this. {I can’t remember what I did three seconds ago} That’s the main reason I still blog, to remember what the heck happened just last week! {Yup I’m no help. I can’t remember what I did three seconds ago. Whoa déjà vu.} So in the last two years, we got pregnant again, had another kid, and are barely surviving them both… {Yup I think I’m suffering from shell shock, I can’t remember what I did three seconds ago. Wait a minute…}

Aurora took her first steps just shy of 11 months old, and got her first tooth shortly after. We had a big blow out birthday party at a nearby park in May for her 1st birthday. {I apologize to everyone for the BBQ. I have had my charcoal license suspended until Blake can teach me how to not set the BBQ on fire, or take 3 hours to get everyone’s hot dogs out.} Everyone knows that their 1st birthday party is really just for the parents. It’s all about inviting everyone and it doesn’t really matter what you do. (When they are old enough to have an opinion it’s a different story. Which is why for her second birthday we had a small get together at her FAVORITE place: Chuck E Cheese, and with all her little friends). We will do the same all out bash for Abby’s 1st birthday and can’t wait to see everyone!

As a brief backtrack, sometime around February of 2010 we decided that we were going to only have 2 children {I decided two was more than enough and finally convinced Loralyn that the stress of four kids would shorten my lifespan to sometime between last Thursday and next week}, and that we wanted to try to space them out 2 years apart, not 3 like we had previously talked about {Which is to say I decided that I wanted the last one out of the house one year sooner.} We decided to start trying again in October, and if we didn’t get pregnant by the holidays to stop trying until March to avoid a holiday baby (no offence to any holiday babies, but the holidays are hectic, and expensive enough) {Even more important, I hate the song Santa Baby}. So fast forward to November. We went to Vegas with my best friend from childhood Nicole and her husband, Jason. I was starting to get some subtle symptoms that I thought might be a sign that I was pregnant, but couldn’t believe that twice in a row I would have gotten pregnant right out of the gate. {Hung over, Pregnant… Who knew?} That next week my period was due (and the point where I could take a pregnancy test). {You all know Loralyn. Are you really surprised she mentioned her period in our Christmas letter?} It also happened to be guy’s poker night at our neighbors. Small note that three of my other friends were already pregnant (Elly was due first, then Alyssa, then Ashley). All us girls were hanging with the kids at our place. {In retrospect it was like the critical nuclear mass. Never again should so many female hormones be that close together.} I was technically due the next day and had the pregnancy test but didn’t want to take it until a few missed days. Well the girls convinced me to take it then. Surprise! It was positive. We debated the best way for me to tell Ryan, and decided the time was never better than right then. We videotaped it and it was hilarious {That was certainly not the best way, very funny yes; but not so informative or smooth}. For those who have not seen it, here is the youtube link. It’s worth your time, promise. http://youtu.be/LzENaeCKtbs

That’s where things started to go downhill. About two weeks after finding out, the morning sickness kicked in and I was infinitely sicker with Abby than I was with Aurora. I lost about 5 lbs and got sick at the smell of just about everything (including the smell of my own house). {Hyper ventilate just outside the house, open the door, run to the bathroom, then yell at Ryan for not steam sterilizing the house twice a day} I pretty much turned into a couch zombie for 3 months until it finally subsided. I can honestly say that it was the most horrible thing I have ever had to endure {Me too}, and that includes two natural child births; one of which was 100% pain medication free. In that time Ryan and Rory’s diet consisted of exclusively peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, I survived the beautiful wedding of our cousins Philip and Nicole Cross (I just wish I could have enjoyed it more!), and the holidays, all of which were laced with my arch nemesis in pregnancy; poultry. {It instantly triggered vomiting. In retrospect it’s pretty funny. Makes Superman’s kryptonite look silly.} Um, no. Not funny, even in retrospect. Anyway, thus, the reason why no Christmas cards or letters from us made it out last year.

Earlier this year, we had THE ultrasound. We had decided keep the sex a secret until the birth but we had a defunct rad tech, and she slipped up several times; we were having a girl. {She was so bad I thought she was trying to be misleading: she’s moving around, she won’t get in position, etc. Wink wink nudge nudge. I walked away thinking we were having a boy.} But with a girl we were relieved to know that we could bunk them together in the long run and that we could stay in our condo forever after if need be, and that we would be able to reuse all of the toys, clothes and girly things. {Three women, 1.5 bathrooms; nope the need is even greater now for a new place. And I’m sure more girls means more competition and justification for more clothes – not a cost savings for sharing/reuse. Honestly, when in the history of man has a group of girls going shopping been cheaper than just one going?} The rest of my pregnancy was as comfortable as can be expected. So now between the 5 couples that we fondly call the “crew”, there are 8 kids all spanning only 2.5 years from the oldest to youngest. Enough to start a daycare just between us!

Just before Abby was born, Ryan was in a car accident in the Mazda. It was totally the other driver’s fault but in the process of the insurance companies taking their sweet time finalizing things, we realized that we didn’t really NEED a second vehicle. So we decided to pocket what they gave us and make a go at just driving the Corolla. We are still going strong and while it is a small inconvenience here and there for appointments and errands, overall we actually get more time together and are forced to tackle our errands, chores and appointments as a team instead of individually. Things become a “family” effort instead of just what Ryan does and what I do. {Now I just need to build an electric moped child carrier and then I can be the Ultra-Eco-Hipster-Megazord. That’s right Prius-Princesses and Voltron-Voltsters at the stop light I get to look down on YOU! Oh yeah and to balance out the cosmic karma I’ll upgrade the Corolla to a 15 mpg Monster-Jeff-Jeep… Muahahahaha!} Oh God help us…

Abby’s birth was wonderful and fabulous (which you all know about from Abby’s announcement and birth story) and only 4 weeks later we were in Vegas for Ryan’s brother’s wedding. Both Ryan and I got to be part of the wedding party. {Awesome groomsmen gift, almost worth wearing that suit…} We decided to leave Aurora home with my Mom, and the weekend was really wonderful and actually enjoyable even with a newborn in tow. My insanely huge breastfeeding boobies were especially fitting in the Vegas scene, and Alyssa made a beautiful bride and has finally joined the rankings as a Cross woman. {My sincerest apologies Alyssa :0) } She knew what she was getting herself into. Anyway, finishing up their wonderful news, Blake has officially been accepted into the Navy, and leaves for boot camp in January.

In August, my mom had surgery on her shoulder for a torn rotator cuff, and it was really hard not to be able to help her as much as I would have liked (seeing as how I had my hands full with two little ones!) but it was harder for her not to be able to hold the girls. Luckily, since I was off on maternity leave during that time I was at least able to visit her often and take her mind off of being all strapped down and not having use of her arm. She is doing much better now and has gained much mobility back.

I turned 30 and returned to work, both in October. {It’s more like the 9th anniversary of her 21st birthday} Returning to work was much different this time; with Aurora I was so sad and felt extremely guilty. This time, I was so excited to get a daily break where I could go pee when I needed to and take a lunch break. There is give and take though; while work offers a much needed break from the house and the girls and adult time and conversation, you still have all of your regular chores to fit into a smaller period of time. When I was home with them, I had all day to do a load of laundry, even if it was started and stopped 10 times and took all day. Now it still has to be fit in, all around two fulltime working schedules. {Welcome to earth my daughters; I will be your chauffer, waiter, busboy, trampoline, and payroll clerk, I don’t need sleep, and after you go to sleep I will only do chores.} It is hectic for sure, but our girls bring us so much joy. {And used diapers. They’ve brought us a lot of those so far.}

My brother’s girlfriend, Danielle is pregnant, and we just found out recently that they are having a boy! While it was unexpected, they are very excited and we are happy that our kids will be so close in age. {Rory is getting really good at her family trees} (Skye and I are 9 years apart but our kids will be not more than 3 years apart oldest to youngest). They have much to discuss and figure out, as Skye is trying to finish college at SDSU here and Danielle currently lives up in Northern California with her toddler son Carson, but I have never seen Skye happier than he is now and as they say, “with love, all things are possible”. They both have families that love them deeply and will support them on their journey. {“Hard work is painful when life is devoid of purpose. But when you live for something greater than yourself and the gratification of your own ego, then hard work becomes a Labor of Love.”} I couldn’t have said it better myself, my dear. And with that, we leave you with love and well wishes to you and yours as we embark on the New Year.

Much Love,
Ryan, Loralyn,
Aurora (2 ½) & Abigail (5 mo)

The Holidays Are Upon Us!

Well the holidays are just around the corner. We got our pics back from our holidays shoot with Becky of Captured with Care Photography and they were amazing. We ordered our cards through costco and now we have to get our letter together! Its going to be a doozy, as we never got cards or letters out last year due to me being so sick with Abby. Its interesting it has actually brought up a number of emotions in me that I had no idea were inside me about it. Something about that 1 year anniversary of the terribleness that I went through the first trimester with Abby and what I put everyone around me through while I was just trying to survive... I don't know, I can't explain, it; I just never want to go through anything like that ever again! But I'm past it and have my beautiful sweet Abby now. :0)

We got our tree this week. We got a smaller 5' tree and put it on our coffee table. That way its nice and tall like a big tree, but lighter, and easier to manage (not to mention cheaper) and there is room for the presents underneath and all around! Ryan made the mistake of asking Rory what color tree she wanted and she answered Purple. Ryan told her it only came in Green but she was very upset. lol. She was very excited to decorate it too. I didn't even care that not everything made it onto the tree, or that the distribution of kinds of ornaments was not even. I'm just happy she got to be a part of it!

We recently got a new camera (a Sony) and we are loving it. It takes the best automatic shots, and has really awesome "expensive camera" settings to get the shots you want but in a point in shoot (panorama, blurred background settings are two of my favs). Its crazy to think that we got it for around $250 which is like half of what we paid like 7 years ago for a "fancier" bigger camera that doesnt take as good of pictures without messing with tons of settings manually. Technology sure does move quick.

Abby is doing great; I actually got wonderful sleep last night. We went to bed earlier than normal, Abby went to bed later than normal, and I got to sleep in an extra 30 min today becuase Ryan has the girls today. She only woke up at 2:30 and 4:30 (normally its around 1am, 3am and 5am). Its so funny how different she is turning out to be from Rory. My Mom has suddenly been reminded that Abby acts exactly how I did as a baby. Every time something comes up shes like, "Oh yeah... Yup! Thats just how you were!" lol. (Rory was the easiest baby ever; happy to go to anyone, happy doing anything, hardly complained at all about anything, slept through the night no problem even though she was small). Abby wants to be held almost always, but if she is awake she wants to be facing out and able to see everything that is going on. She loves to be entertained and is totally fascinated by the TV (Rory had no interest and even to this day gets restless at about the hour mark of any movie). If I am around and in the room, she rarely goes to anyone else, and she LOVES to nurse. The second I get home from work - even though she is not really hungry and just got a full bottle like an hour before - wants to get some Mommy time in. She also loves rattles and chew toys (Rory never played with them at all), and is drooling up a storm. I think she will probably get her first tooth long before Rory did (at 11 months). Even their poop schedule is totally different. Abby is multiple times a day, normally at the tail end of a feeding. Rory was a crazy huge one only once every few days.

And Rory, while looking just like me is totally different than I was. Apparently I was (yes I know, gasp) very quiet and reserved as a young child, and preferred to play by myself off in a corner. Rory is just a total ham, jumping around like a hooligan singing and dancing. Her vocabulary and speech continues to improve and impress us. She talks about and understands concepts now, not just verbs and nouns. She talks about things she might do or might happen "someday" and tells us that she wants a pink pony when she grows up. I told her one day that she made me "this" happy, and she replied, "me make happIER!" I've begun correcting her when she says "me" and it should be "I". Sometimes she whips out 5+ word sentences and I'm just amazed. When did our little baby girl turn into a little girl?

I'm just totally in love with both of them! Of course that is probably the sleep talking. :0)

Somethings Gotta Give

Ok Ill try to stick to the essentials because once again, I have waited too long between posts. Rory hand foot and mouth disease just after Halloween. Not sure where the heck she got it but gave it to all the other kids at Diane's. Poor things. Luckily Abby did not get it. The same week, she popped her second molar (upper left). She is now wearing 2t (3t in shirts). It is pretty amazing how much talking she is doing. Well I guess I would classify it as conversing more. I told her the other day, "You make me so happy, Rory". She replied back, "You me make happier!". She still insists on her "paci" at bedtime, in the car, and anytime she gets upset. She still drinks a 6 oz bottle of milk first thing in the morning and before brushing teeth to go to bed. She has a Dora the Explorer flashlight that she insists on sleeping with. She loves sleeping in her bunk bed. I gave her her first real haircut (besides bangs).

Abby got her first cold when Aurora got the HM&F. It was mild, and was just a runny nose. She is not sleeping well. Dr. said its totally normal, shes just small and has a small tummy and cant go that long without eating. (at her BEST during the day shes only eating 4 oz a time every 3 hours). She does get a good stretch from 7pm when we put her down to about midnight when she first needs to eat again. Its just unfortunate that we dont get to sleep during that time! We have tried to extend her bedtime but she gets so overtired and its really hard to settle her back down (we learned that from our weeks of "colicky" evenings). Its really just a lot of little things adding up; with Aurora she was going to bed later so the stretch was more in line with our sleep, she dropped the midnight feeding sooner, we didnt have to get up as early since we didnt have as much to do to get out the door for work, and it was easier for one of us to nap if we needed it to catch up. We stopped swaddling her a few weeks ago. Tried her in our bed so I could get to her faster and that was better than before, but then she was getting startled too much so we got out Rory's bat tent and for the last few nights have used that, putting her to sleep on her stomach. That has worked out much better. Last night she was good; midnight feeding, 2:00 pacifier which only tided her over until 2:30 when I had to feed her again, then she was fine until I woke her up at 6 to eat before I pumped. She is in0-3 clothes now. Eyes are a deep dark hazel, but brown in some light. At her 4 month old apt on Wed she was 10 lbs 8 oz, and 23 inches long. After just telling the Dr that Abby was not anywhere close to rolling over and had no intention of it, she busted out two back to stomachs in a row last night. Ryan was way more excited than he normally is about those kinds of things, and I realized after he commented on it that this is the first "milestone" that is tangible proof that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that we wont be slaves to the sleepless nights, frequent feedings and unending diaper changes forever.

Luckily my milk production has stayed high. I have an insane stock pile of it in the chest freezer. I actually started donating my extra again since my production shows no sign of slowing even after being back at work for over a month. (Last time it was already decreasing significantly by now) I'm so grateful to Abby for being such a good bottle to boob feeder. Because she is being so good to me in that aspect, I am committed to spending the time and effort to continue nursing and pumping to a year. Its helping my weight come down too. I've had like 3 days at 139. It would be awesome if I could get down to 135. I have to say though I have been craving some serious physical activity. But family walks will just have to suffice until I get back some of my time. I just have to make peace with the fact that my body, time and efforts need to be devoted to the family right now.

What a boring post with dumb stats littered throughout. But alas, thats all I have time for at this point in time!

3 Decades Old

Turning 30.... sense of peace... have been running for last decade trying to get "done" with things (college, marriage, kids) and now I feel I can finally sit back and enjoy the ride.

*NOTE* These were short hand notes on what was supposed to be a birthday post. Seeing as how that was almost a month ago, Im just going to post this. You get the gist. lol.

First Week Back

I'm back! So far so good. Things seem to have been handled well while I was gone (Thanks to my temp Christine who covered for me), and I feel like I'm about 50% caught up already. The pumping schedule is pretty good and I'm bringing home about 14 oz each day (Abby is only consuming 9 oz during the day with Diane.) What I'm most excited about is that she seems to be totally content to switch between nursing and the bottle, which was the problem that Aurora had. My production tanked with Aurora after I went back to work and she started preferring the bottle, so it pleases me to hope that I'll make it to a full year of breastmilk for Abby. And she is happy with Diane; either she gets worn out or more milk with the bottle or both because every day that she has been with Diane she has slept through the night until at least 5am.

I can also see the light at the end of the tunnel; Never again will I have to go through maternity leave, which means for the first time in 5 years, all of my vacation time will again be just that - for vacations!And instead of saving sick time for ML, it will continue to be banked for retirement credit. Double bonus!!! Between the tantrums, trips to the park and poopy diapers, Ryan and I are already dreaming of all the worldly trips we are going to take and planning next year's vacations. (So far the plan is for a big road/camping trip to North Cal in the next year with the girls then a backpacking trip alone to Patagonia for the following year).

Last week we got the new carpet in, and its AMAZING. So soft and plush, and it is actually really nice to have a dark color down; it really adds something to the whole house I think. That went in on Wed, and on Sunday we went to Ikea and got Aurora's bunk bed. The bottom "bunk" is on the floor, making the whole thing much shorter, so we feel comfortable with her being on the top. We also got a tent top to it which she loves, and also keeps her from jumping too high on the mattress. lol. And instead of buying a mattress for the bottom (since we don't need it yet) we just left it open as a play area for Aurora. She is sleeping just fine in it, so we seem to have timed the switch just perfectly!

Last week for my final time going to breastfeeding group Abby weighed in at 8 lbs 12 oz which is still REALLY small. It's like < 3rd percentile. But she is really happy, content and eats all the time (she's just more of a snacker; 2-3 oz every ~2 hours). What can I say, my girls are just small! :0) We have also figured out that she just needs to be held for the entire evening until about 7 pm when she is ok to be put to bed after a top off. Our evenings with her have been MUCH better since we figured that out and we just put her in one of the carriers or hold her for that time. I'm sure she was pissed at us before for not getting it; "I stop crying when you pick me up, then you put me right back down. I try to tell you and cry then you get it and pick me up so I stop, then you put me right back down again. WTF is wrong with you idiots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" lol. Well honey, we got it now, so you are good to go!

And it's fall baby! It's in the air too; today there is a 100% chance of rain. In San Diego. That's saying something. The weather is cooling down and it makes a great clean break with the summer off I had. I think if I had to go back in the middle of summer it would have been depressing but to go back right into fall sort of feels right. And Halloween will be so awesome; Ryan, I and Abby are going to be the three bears (Papa, Mama and Baby Bear) with Aurora as Goldilocks. How cute is that going to be????

The End of the Beginning

Well I'm nearing the end of my maternity leave. I have this week plus two weeks left. We have decided to get our carpet replaced before I start again. With two little ones crawling around, we realize how nasty and dirty the current carpet is - we probably should have gotten new carpet after Guinness was potty trained, but once you have furniture in, its such a hassle! And we will be getting a bunk bed system for the girls soon, and it will be much easier to do the carpet before we start ADDING furniture to their room. So in preparation we have started a late summer cleaning of the whole house, but concentrating on the upstairs, where the carpet is. Man does it feel good! I didn't realize how much of my cabin fever was related to how much stuff we had accumulated and what a mess our house has become. It feels so good to go through things, organize it all and purge what we don't need. Rule of thumb; if you haven't used it or needed it in the last 2 years, GET RID OF IT. It's so liberating! And it looks soooo much better too. Let me tell you how much I'm looking forward to being done with the infant stage for good so that we can get rid of all the baby stuff!

Abby is doing great. She gained 7 oz last week and tomorrow is her 2 month appointment so we will see if she did as good this week. She has been starving all the time and feeding really well so I have a feeling she gained well. I looked at Rory's chart for comparison and at 10 weeks she was 8 lbs, 12 oz - so about the same. Even being aware of how fast they grow its crazy; she's done being super tiny... my little 6 lb baby is going to be 9 lbs soon! We have introduced the bottle too in prep for me going back. At first I thought she didn't like it but I realized A. I didn't have the right bottle (I was using the standard Medela one instead of the Playtex drop ins which Rory liked), B. We weren't trying it when she was hungry, but after a feeding as a "top off", and C. Didn't realize she just takes for freaking ever to eat! Three days in a row now she has had her breakfast in a bottle and taken 1-3 oz each time, and takes up to 20 min to drink it! Rory would down a 4 oz bottle in 10 min so I just was not used to that at all. But she's still not where she should be so we will see if they give me a hard time. I've been saving all my excess milk from the morning and evening pumpings and getting 16-20 oz a day stored. So every day I pump is a day's worth of milk for later. I got really worried when the crazy So Cal blackout happened last Thursday that I would have to throw out the milk I already had frozen but during the 12 hour shortage it didn't appear that any of the milk started to thaw out so I think it should be fine.

Abby's eyes are still a deep dark sapphire - at least for now. Ryan's baby book reports that his eyes turned brown at 3 months so we should find out soon enough! Her skin is definitely darkening up, that's for sure. And the hair is just as thick and dark. My little Ryan baby!

She is still on the same sleep schedule. We are putting her to bed earlier (like 7) because she gets really cranky if you don't put her down early. Then she wakes up about 1am, 3am and 6am for feedings. She is wide awake after the 6am feeding and really happy, until the 9am feeding, then likes to go down for a morning nap until the next feeding. We have figured out too (after MANY fussy nights) that she likes sleeping in her carseat best! Go figure. She didn't like the bassinet that we used for Rory, and while she likes the cradle swing we got her recently during the day and for awake time, she doesn't really like to sleep in it. But she always sleeps really well day or night in her carseat. So carseat it is!

Rory is such a good girl and I'm enjoying her so much. She's just a beautiful person, inside and out already. I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful person in my family. :0) She's sweet, helpful, thoughtful and intuitive. I swear she is going to go into some kind of care taking profession (nurse, doctor, vet, teacher...) She is talking so much too! Her words are adorable - no one can understand them but us but it's still so stinking cute. Yogurt is "oh-grit". Thanks is "sanks". She tells daddy and I to "calm down" and holds out her hand to exemplify. She tells Guinness "no barking, Guinness!". The other day I finished my bottle of prenatals, and asked her to throw the empty one in the recycling bin. She did so, but then went and got a new bottle of vitamins and gave it to me. I was stunned! Then today she was playing in the sand at the Cross's and she found a bottle cap and showed it to me. I showed her where the bottle cap bucket was, and told her if she found any more to put them there too. I opened a water bottle and set down the cap. I turned around a minute later and the cap was gone - Rory had taken it and put it in the bucket! lol. She takes initiative for sure.

I haven't been able to find too much time to do more than take the girls on walks, and so some planking here and there. It is helping a little though; my stomach muscles are less than a finger width apart now, and my weight is slowly creeping back down to that 140 norm range. I'm hovering around 146 right now. I'm dreading trying on all my work clothes to see which ones fit and which don't.

Ryan's birthday is this week; 31, old man. And my big 30 is next month. Holey cow! When did I get so old? Oh yeah, since I went to college, married Ryan, and had kids. I guess when you think back a lot HAS happened in the last decade for me.

Falling Into a Groove

Well Abby will be 2 months old next week and I can say that I am finally getting a routine down and *sometimes* feel in control and on top of things. First of all might I say that without a housekeeper I would be going absolutely bonkers and living in filth. Best $160 a month I've ever spent and Ill do anything to make sure we have enough money to keep this service.

That being said, the normal routine is getting up in the morning, feeding Abby, settling her down for her morning nap, getting Aurora up with her bottle and settling in front of KPBS for Curious George, Cat in the Hat, Super Why, Dinosaur Train (depending on what time we get up and how long it takes me to get breakfast ready and pack stuff up for the day). Then we eat, get dressed and go out for the morning activity. By then its between 9-10am. Our morning activity (some errand or the park) lasts until about noon, when it is time to head back home to get Rory in her bath before going down for her nap. Then while (hopefully) both girls are down for naps I can get some stuff done (like blogging). Otherwise Im trying to settle Abby if she's fussy for the entirety of Rory's nap. After Rory wakes up its time to check the mail, take Guinness for a walk and start dinner for when Ryan comes home. We eat dinner when he gets home, play with the girls, then start the bed time routine and have Rory and Abby in bed by (a goal of) 8pm so that Ryan and I can have a few hours to ourselves to watch (a goal of) 2 episodes of our new fav show, Battlestar Galactica before going to bed around 10pm. The next day, wake up and repeat. How the heck does the entire day go so fast???? I feel like I live for those few hours alone with Ryan to just sit back, relax and zone out (or rather in) to another world.

I have to say having two, especially this close together is HARD. Its overwhelming at times. Sometimes I think I will loose my mind. Then there are the times when both girls are happy, their needs are met, the house is not an absolute mess, I'm mostly caught up on chores, and I can just sit back, relax and enjoy my beautiful daughters... Abby starting to smile and look around as her eyesight improves, Rory in her joyous innocence, with such a sweet love of her sister and the fascinating world she explores. Those moments are priceless and enough to bring me to tears, and the tough times are TOTALLY worth it all. When its hard, I just have to remind myself to stop, breathe through it, and remember that this too, shall pass... and take things one step at a time.

I only have a month left before going back to work on Oct 3rd. So Im just going to try to enjoy it, because although Im craving my own time back now, I know Ill miss my time alone with the girls once it is gone.

Ive been going to Sharp's breastfeeding group which is amazing. Nicole introduced me to it last round of kids and Ive been going now that I have Abby too. Shes not gaining enough, and I really need to figure out how to get more into this child! At a good feeding she will take in about 3 oz at a time (other babies at this point are up to 4 oz or more). Which isnt totally abnormal, especially considering thats about the most Rory ever took in either at this age. But sometimes I dont get a good feeding in and she doesnt get that much. Shes only waking up twice a night; once at about 1am and then again at like 5 or 6 am. She gained 1 oz the first week I went to the group, then I spent a lot of time concentrating on getting good feedings in and she did much better at 4 oz the second week but then this last time she only gained 2 oz. So shes 7 lbs 12 oz now at 7 weeks old. Im going to start sleep feeding her an ounce with a bottle at night before we go to bed, and maybe introduce a bottle a day to start getting her ready for me going back to work and hopefully she will get a little more than she takes in through nursing with this new plan too. Cause they are going to read me the riot act if she is not up more than this at her 2 month apt in two weeks.

My mom's shoulder surgery seems to have gone well and now its all about healing and eventually we will see what kind of good the surgery was able to do. Everyone is getting surgery; just found out Ryan's Uncle Chuck is having a hip replaced. Do we really just fall apart so easily once we get over 50 years old??? Reminder to me to take good care of my body now so that it can serve me better later on.

Ooop, Abby is up! LOL. That didnt last long. At least I got to enjoy my bloody mary and get in a blog post! More later.

Slew of Updates

Well it is hard for me to believe but here I am with Abby a month old and it feels like it was just yesterday... but then I realize how much has happened since she has been born! It is definitely overwhelming to have two kids. I knew it would be hard, but man, it's nuts!!! The hardest thing is just not being able to get anything done. One is cake. You can take care of their needs then get some stuff done around that. But throw another kid in the mix and as soon as you take care of one kid the other one needs something else. This makes it impossible to get anything done, including showering, eating, etc. Getting out of the house takes an act of God, since you have to get thee kids stuff ready, plus yourself and somehow keep them tended to until you do all that and get out the door. I've already locked myself out of the car once (with Abby in it). Taking half the $300 a month we are saving on not having an extra car and putting it towards having our housekeeper come every other week is the best decision we have made! I have come to terms with the fact that things are just going to be nutzoid for the next year or so, and I have to take it one step at a time and just breathe. Thank God for Ryan, who I miss every second of every day that I am not with him. He's my partner in all this, and the only one who can really share all the intricacies of our family dynamic. I would be lost without him for sure. PS no way in hell we are having more. lol. I couldn't hang with being outnumbered. At least with two you can tag team; one for each of you. That works out well.

Things are going well though. Abby LOVES the boob. We have tried a bottle a few times and she's not really a fan. Might have a tough time when I go back to work if she doesn't grow accustomed to it, at least once in a while. She's a gourmet nurser too; if I'm too full she gets upset. She likes to savor her meals and really take her time. Which is great for my production. The more she nurses the more my production will keep up. As it is I'm pumping about 15 oz extra milk a day. Pumping right before bed after last feeding. Then she is getting up for a 1 am feeding and then again at about 5 am. I feed out of the same breast for those two, because if I alternated the 5 am boob would be too full for her. So then I pump in the morning after I get up at the 7 am feeding. Sometimes other pumpings in between if I get too full. Going to start freezing soon. I think I'm going to stick with freezing in 1 oz ice cubes then foodsaver a few trays at a time. I honestly don't think I'll make it past 6 months pumping (which will be 3 months back at work) so the more I can stock up on the better. I tried to give my extra milk to Aurora, so we could stop buying organic whole milk at $6 a gallon but she wasn't having it. I don't blame her. While it's sweet, it is not as creamy as whole cow's milk and it has a sort of soapy, irony flavor... besides all the other flavors that vary based on what I eat.

As mentioned above Abby is pretty much sleeping through mos of the night. From week one she pretty much had the 9pm, 1am, 5am night time feeding schedule. She is a little fussy sometimes to try to get back to sleep after the 1am one, but since I stopped changing her diaper at that one, which gets her really pissed off, she's going much easier. And after the 5am one I just bring her to bed with me and let her sleep on my chest cause I just can't resist the cuddling! I was waking her up every two hours during the day to eat in the beginning, but now I've moved to every 3 hours since she wasn't getting hungry enough to have a really good feeding anymore at 2 hours. She was back up to birth weight at a week old but I have no idea what she is now. Hopefully I can make it to the breastfeeding group one of these days to see how she is doing since she doesn't have another apt with the doctor for another month.

In addition to the angel kisses on her eyelids, I noticed some really big stork bites on the back of her neck and her head. Her dark ass hair was totally hiding them! We will see if her eyes turn brown - they have not done so yet! Although in some light they look brownish by the pupils to me. Her skin is for sure the dark skin though. She's not a big spit up baby which is nice. Or is that still coming? I admit it is really hard to remember all the stages from last time and I just don't have the time or effort to look everything up and be on top of it like with Rory. (I have no idea what the next milestone is and have no care about whether Abby is hitting it or not. lol. Is that wrong???)

Of other general updates in our lives. Blake and Alyssa's wedding in Vegas at Treasure Island was this weekend. It was so much fun and really nice. It was a small group - mostly close friends and family, about 65 people, which I think was perfect! We left Rory at home with my mom, which was perfect. There were for sure times when I missed her and would have liked to have her there, but so many others where I just would have been so overwhelmed. (Both Ryan and I were in the wedding ourselves so it was enough just to have an infant.) I got to have enough of my own fun, and only in Vegas can you party and take your kid with you most places. lol. And bonus cookies, I actually fit in my bridesmaid's dress. The main casualty was Ryan breaking out in full body hives (this is the second time this has happened to him) and having to pop 3 benedryl to stop the reaction. Guess we need to start carrying the epi-pen with us on travel too! Alyssa made a beautiful bride and is finally and officially a Cross woman!

On sad news, my mom has to get surgery on her shoulder. After months of physical therapy for an injury she sustained while playing with a horse, and plateauing with any further recovery, they finally referred her to ortho. He took one look at her and told her she had a ruptured rotator cuff, and needed an MRI and surgery to repair. Her MRI is today and the surgery is scheduled for later this month. This coupled with the crap her and Wayne are having to deal with in Oceanside is no bueno for them! (There was a fire a while back at one of the rental units in Oceanside and since the structures were built so long ago they are not up to date with permits and such, so its going to be a lot of time, work and money to get everything up to code and fixed). I feel terrible since she has helped us out SOOOOOO much with everything since Rory has been born, and I'm not really at a place right now were I can give back, although I would love to. (It would be so great to be able to have her stay with us during her surgery and nurse her back to health, and offer my time and labor with Oceanside - obviously not possible with me barely keeping my own household together and going back to work in less than 2 months.) So all I can do is offer her moral support and love and send happy thoughts her way for a positive outcome on everything. I do take comfort in knowing how much she loves the girls and the time she spends with us.

Well I have spent enough time on this post and I know there is more but my brain is fried and I have to go do the dishes and get something else accomplished for the day besides one blog post!

Abigail's Birth Story

Well here I am two weeks after Abigail was born (to the day in fact) finally getting my birth story done. Things are much crazier with a toddler already running around the house. But that's not what this post is about...

I had just about given up on Abby coming early. I had thought there was a decent chance she would come up to 3 weeks early and thought for sure she could come 2 weeks early, based on the changes I noted in my body. My last week of work was uncomfortable to say the least. My heartburn was awful, I had been getting some back labor-pains for a week or so, and the Braxton Hicks were painful. Abby had been sitting VERY low in my pelvis for pretty much the whole 3rd trimester and kept creeping down further. But 37 weeks came and went. My final day at work came and went. That weekend, and all the things we had planned came and went. (Faux of July party at Nicole's, Ryan's beer competition at the fair, and of course 4th of July at Randy's). Still no baby. So I waited out that 38th week, my first week off work, just hanging with Aurora and enjoying my last time with just her. Still no baby. So at the start of that next weekend nearing my 39th week, I was resigned to the possibility that this baby could be 2 weeks late if she so chose!

Saturday, July 9th my boss and his wife had a Paella Party at their house.The food was great, and I ate way more than I should have. I had been sleeping the first part of the night on the couch due to my heartburn, then moving back upstairs to the bed around 2 or 3am once my stomach was settled and totally digested. So I was generally eating small meals in the afternoon, and not much for dinner at all. But this night I said screw it, I'm going to enjoy myself and eat to my heart's content. I especially enjoyed the TWO pieces of cheesecake I had for dessert. lol.

That night I started the night out on the couch. I woke up earlier in the morning to head upstairs than usual; around 1:30 am. I got into bed and couldn't quite get comfortable. After tossing and turning for about 30 min (unusual for me, even in pregnancy to not be able to get to sleep right away), shortly after 2 am on 7/10, I suddenly felt my water break. It wasn't a full on gush like it was with Aurora - it was just enough to soak my pantyliner and my underwear - but there was no doubt what it was. Game time.

I reached over and woke Ryan up - "Ryan; this is it, my water just broke - time to get up." His reaction was a repeat of when I told him we were pregnant. "Oh shit". Since I defied statistics once again as the 15% of the population whose water breaks before labor starts, I knew that while the second labor was likely to go faster, we still had some time since I wasn't in labor yet. I went to the bathroom, and took a shower while instructing Ryan on who to call and text. We called my mom so her and Wayne could come over. Wayne would stay at the house so we didn't have to wake Aurora up, and then in the morning take her to Harb. My mom would come with us to the hospital. Then I texted the other people who wanted to be a part of this experience; Meg, Nicole, Kimmy and of course Cheryl.

A little while later, I was showered, my mom and Wayne had arrived and we had packed the last min items for the hospital. I was still not having regular contractions, although they were happening (Like 5-10 min apart and about 50 seconds long). I was planning on waiting until they got a little bit more regular, but Ryan was fritzing out and wanted to know exactly when we were going to be going to the hospital. I told him I didn't know, it depended on how quickly things progressed. He was very uncomfortable with that and it was clear that we should just go and get checked in and everyone (Ryan) would be more at ease. I made him make a thermos of his good coffee (knowing he would appreciate it later on even though at the time it was the furthest thing from his mind). And just after 4am we took off!

We met up with Kimmy in the lobby, and then checked in upstairs. They took me into an exam room, to ask me the basics, and to confirm that my water had broken. Of all chances, my midwife was working the Birth Center. She told me that they were having staffing issues; basically they didn't have a nurse to assign to me, even though they had a room. They had one women in active labor who they hoped would deliver soon, and if so they could give me her nurse. But after a good hour in the exam room and still nothing, they decided to start me down in L&D, where they could at least give me an RN and a room. They hoped that soon things would free up in the BC, and they could move me back up. So down to L&D. There Nicole met up with us (she was a little freaked out at first when they told her I was in L&D - she thought, why is she there???). The nurse there asked if I wanted to go ahead and get a Hep Lock IV (last time I got one and they used it to give me my pain meds, and then pitocin after I delivered) and I said yes. After hanging out there for a few hours, finally around 7 am we got word that the woman up in the BC decided to get an epidural, so that left the room and the RN free for me to come up from L&D! It took them a while to clean the room and get it ready for me, but finally I got into my room, which happened to be the same room that I delivered Aurora in 2 years previous! My midwife, Rebecca had finished her shift and Beth, another of the midwives was on. She was super sweet and I was pretty sure she had worked with me at some point during the last pregnancy.

Everyone else started to arrive throughout the morning (Cheryl, Meg & Justin, Melinda & Nathan, Alyssa & Keira). Not too much happened over the next several hours. The contractions stayed painful but not too serious, and stayed between 2-10 min apart and not more than a min long. As the morning wore on I started to feel discouraged; things were not picking up! I didn't want another 24 hour experience - the second labor was supposed to go quicker! The nurse suggested that I pace the halls a little, so Ryan took me outside and we paced around the BC square. Things really started picking up while doing that and within 30 min of walking, my contractions got up to less than 5 min apart and were lasting up to a min and a half. I went back into the room, and they started slowing down! Clearly the walking was helping and hanging out in the room was not; so Nicole, Meg and Kimmy took a turn with me pacing the halls. It was funny - I had my own labor entourage! One of them was keeping track of my contractions, another giving me sips of water after every contraction and the other giving my spine counter pressure during the contractions. (Kimmy had been giving me massage and it was still pretty painful so at some point the midwife came in and showed us how to apply upward counter pressure on the bottom of my spine. She explained that the baby sitting low and coming down the birth canal was putting a lot of pressure on my spine and the counter pressure pushed the baby's head back and provided a lot of relief).

I knew I wanted to try the water tub this time, since I didn't get to last time, and I let the staff know that right away since I knew it takes a while to get it all set up. They started to get stuff ready (put in the order, fill the tub, etc.) but since it would be a while and things were getting more intense I decided to take a shower sometime around 1 pm. Ryan came in with me to keep track of the contractions and for a while I labored in the shower. It was really great last time and was just as good this time. Squatting through the contractions helped, and while in the shower I started to get the beginning urges to push, so I knew things were finally picking up!

I got out of the shower after about 30 min and I wanted the tub so bad. Apparently they were quickly working to get the authorization and get my midwife in to get me checked before going into the tub while also trying to get the temp just perfect for me but to me it was all taking forever and my perception was that it was going to be like another hour before they let me in the tub, so at some point I asked for pain meds. (I can't remember exactly when this was). The nurse looked at me and said, "I would highly caution against that" since she could tell how far along I was coming and knew I would have the tub soon. And I said ok, like a little kid who has asked for candy that they know they won't be allowed to have. At about 1:15 pm they checked me and I was minus 2, 5 cm dilated, which they said was the perfect timing for me to get into the tub. (They don't want to put you in too soon, because it can slow down labor if you aren't far enough along in labor). I was in the tub by 1:30 and I was a HAPPY CAMPER! I dont know how on earth a tub can make that much difference, but let me tell you it did, and there is a reason they call it the birth center's epidural!!! It took all the pressure off, and the heat felt so good and it was just so relaxing through those painful contractions. I was only in there for about 30 min and I started to get such strong urges to push I couldn't control them anymore. I told them I had to push and was time to get out, so I got out and they checked me again.

Her head was there and I was fully dilated so it was go time! Obviously the tub really did the trick, and besides being an awesome tool for relieving my pain, it also sped along my labor. I got in the side laying position again, with Cheryl holding my right leg up, and I started going for it. I only had to push about 4 times and I had her out. She came out much slower than Aurora did. Her head came out with the first few pushes then another push got to her shoulders and then the rest of her. At 2:19 pm on 7/10/11 Abigail Rose Cross was born.

She had the same sucking blisters on both of her hands that Aurora had, and that my mom says I had too. She was wanting to suck as soon as she came out, but while they were stitching me (I did end up with some minor 2nd degree tearing; two stitches inside and a few outside, all pretty superficial) it was an awkward position on my chest, so she sucked around my boob but didn't get a great latch until a little while later when I got propped up on the bed. She was born with a full head of dark hair, and was super bright pink. This was the dark baby who looked just like Ryan that I had dreams of before I even had Aurora! Kimmy got to cut the cord, and she was ecstatic. I was so happy to have gotten through it all, and in good timing too! 12 hours from my water breaking I had my beautiful baby Abby.

Abigail Rose Cross
Born 7/10/11 2:19 pm
6 lbs 7 oz
18.25 inches

Labor is Eminent, Resistance is Futile.

This baby is coming soon. Seriously. Its really very interesting to go through it the second time around and see what the differences are.

Last time I had increased discharge the week before, and then the evening before I felt Aurora drop, and she was moving around like crazy very low in my pelvis. I also got the crazy nesting and went into a cleaning frenzy. Then the morning of I had pink discharge then my water broke at lunch that day. I was getting Braxton Hicks for a few months too.

This time, same deal with the Braxton Hicks, but last weekend and again last night I had an hour stint where they were over a min long and only a few min apart. Increased discharge has been the same too. But I have been carrying Abby much lower the whole pregnancy than Aurora, and she's inherently way more active than Aurora was. However, the last few days she has been twisting and turning deep in my pelvis more than before. The last few days I have been exhausted and have not had the energy for too much of any cleaning even though the house has needed some tidying. Then suddenly last night I couldn't stand it and had to clean up. I also had a sudden bathroom run in the middle of the day yesterday, another sign. And anyone who knows my bowel schedule knows its normally a first thing in the morning, on a schedule, and takes a long time. So all in all its pretty clear that things are getting close here, and my guess is sometime this weekend.

Which is fun, and right on track with my guess for another holiday baby (4th of July) but also sort of sad because we have such fun plans for the weekend; Faux 4th at Nicole's tomorrow, Sunday at the Del Mar Fair and Ryan submitting his home brews, and the 4th at Randy's. I guess having to choose between the two (having a baby or fun events) could be a much worse choice though!

Switching gears, Aurora got her first big girl ouchies! On Monday, Ryan was at the chiropractor then getting fitted for his tux for Blake & Alyssa's wedding and I was home with Aurora waiting for him to be done to pick him up. We were outside on the patio after some water play and she was fighting with me on the couch trying to put on her own diaper. She lost her balance and fell backward off the couch, and smacked her head flat on the brick flooring. I picked her up right away, consoling her, patting her head and back, knowing that she was going to be upset and would have a bump on her head.... then I noticed there was blood. "Oh no, where is the blood coming from?" I thought. Then I saw that her beautiful white-blonde hair was soaked with a circle of blood in the back. I started to really freak out, but then I was able to locate the laceration and see that it wasn't bleeding anymore. It was about an inch long and looked pretty deep, so I knew it would probably need stitches. But with Ryan not being home, not really knowing what to do (or where to take her?) I called Cheryl and she came over right away. She agreed that it would need stitches and suggested I call the Dr. and ask where to take her. So I called the UCSD Pediatrics office, and they put in a message to have the Dr. on call call me. While I was waiting for that call, Cheryl went to go pick Ryan up. The Dr. called back and said to take her to urgent care, and they would do staples, not stitches because it was on the scalp. I called them and they said to take her to the Children's ER, as they didnt have the facilities to do staples there. So by then Cheryl had Ryan back and we jumped in the car and headed to Children's.

They checked us in pretty much right away, and had us hold a cotton ball with lidocain and some other stuff on her laceration for about 20 min, then they came in, pumped the gurney up to chest level, had her lay on her tummy head to the side facing Ryan and I, and they stapled her up, "cha-chink, cha-chink, cha-chink". 5 staples later, Rory was all Frankensteined up and ready to go. She didn't blink an eye, bat an eyelash or whimper a single peep the entire time. What a trooper. She was very excited to get an orange popsicle afterward. They gave us a staple remover to take to the Dr. with us for her check up and told us to make an apt on Friday with her regular Dr. to see if they were ready to be removed.

Ryan took her in yesterday and they were. He said that she was just as good with them being removed as she was when they were put in. No getting her head wet for 48 hours though. Which means we have to be really careful in the pool at Nicole's, or not go in the pool at all. At least she will be free and clear by the 4th at Randy's. So that was our little ordeal with her. And as a last note on that, how funny is it that of all the boys (esp Brayden,) Aurora, little miss girlie girl, was the first one to have a major boo-boo needing stitches or staples????

36 Weeks and Counting

Tuesday was 36 weeks. Today is Friday, and next week is my last week of work! This baby is certainly preparing for birth. Shes been extremely active (more than normal, if I would have believed that to be possible), moving a little lower too, and Ive been getting some back laborish type pains and some cramping. I have also been exhausted and have been trying to get naps in every day. My heartburn and reflux has been TERRIBLE. Im already taking max dose of my Zantac, and on top of that have to take up to 10 tums a day. That's just the meds. The usual food triggers are off, and I have to be especially diligent in the afternoons and evenings. No spicy food, no fatty food, (pretty much stick to complex carbs and veggies) have to eat small amounts, make sure to chew thoroughly and slowly, and I can't eat too late in the afternoon. Also no large amounts of fluids with eating. Then of course Im sleeping with my wedge pillow too. So ALL that stuff has to be perfect and spot on and then I have an ok night... if I mess up ONE of those things, then suddenly I have a night from hell with super bad heartburn all night, my stomach contents coming up on me, I choke on them or a few times its been so bad I throw up even.

Its a great way to diet though! lol. I havent gained any weight for the last 4 weeks or so. I'm holding steady at 170 lbs, which is 25 lbs in this pregnancy. I did start this pregnancy 5 lbs heavier than last time though. But I also ended up at 175 with the last pregnancy. So all in all I have gained less and am topping out at a lower weight.

I have been trying to take it easy since I can tell I need to (dont want to push things here - Abby still isnt full term until Tuesday) and its really hard for me to just sit back and let things go or ask Ryan to do them instead. And its hard not to do as much with Rory - she doesn't quite understand that I cant pick her up and play with her as much because I'm physically limited.

Things are in pretty good order - the house is clean, we've cleaned all the newborn clothes, mostly packed the hospital bag (except for the last min items that we use every day around the house anyway) and we have put the carseat in the car.

On Tuesday I also started using my vag-stretcher (the Epi-No). I started at about 7 cm and have gotten to 8 cm in these 3 days. Goal is to get to a little more than 10 by the time I go into labor.

Rory is just adorable these days. She has such a beautiful personality! She fills our days with laughter and joy. She is ecstatic to have a baby sister, and Abby isnt even here yet! When she does get here Rory is just going to be overcome I'm sure. She has such a maternal instinct and LOVES babies so much. I'm really looking forward to seeing her with her sister.

Her speech is also moving along so rapidly its mind boggling. Every time she communicates a 3 word sentence to you its like "really? did you just say that to me???" I keep wanting to get it on video and get more pictures of her but shes in this stage right now where she doesnt want you to take any pics/video of her. Maybe after Abby is here she'll be ok with it again.

Anyway, thats about it for us. Im SUPER stoked - tomorrow I have my maternity shoot with my friend Becky Hill. I first met her when we went to the same baby prep class last time around and she does photography now. Stay posted!

Stick a Fork in Me... I'm Done.

However, the baby is not, so I must endure for another 3-6 weeks (or longer if Abby has a sick sense of humor.)

So this last week I finally got to THAT point. You know, the one were you get so uncomfortable that no position doesn't hurt or strain something. The one where if you get a 3 hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep (due to the baby on the bladder or the cheeseburger you ate at 3pm that still has not digested yet) each night you thank your lucky stars. The one where you know that the baby still needs some baking time in the oven, but you really just don't care and would give your right arm to get that kid out. It came on pretty suddenly. I was feeling "pretty good" until last week. I guess Abby went through a little growth spurt because I can't breathe, am getting rib aches, and don't even get me started on my reflux. Suffice to say that besides my two times a day Zantac, I'm supplementing with up to 10 tums a day, and after a few really bad nights of reflux, will from here on out need to be done eating dinner by ~5pm, and stick to low-fat, non-spicy, basic foods that dont take a long time to digest. At least its just for the next month or two... TILL I GET THIS KID OUTTA ME!!!! lol

I've also hit the upper end of my weight. Im up to ~170 now and I would like to stay there, but for sure not go any higher than the ~175 between now and when I deliver. No reason for me to go over what I gained in my last pregnancy, especially since I didn't make my goal of gaining less than the first time.

Tomorrow I'll be 34 weeks pregnant, and I really don't think that I'll go late. In fact I think there is a chance Abby might come earlier than Aurora did, but we will see what she decides. (Based on my body and the last time, Im guessing she'll come 2-3 weeks early). My temp at work started today and she's really sweet. I think the office will be in good hands while I am gone.

Memorial Day weekend was really great. We did a good job of planning and packing, and had a great time. Sat night it rained on us and didn't clear up so well, so we decided to head back into Fresno and spend that last night with the Schott's which was the best thing ever! As Ryan said when Laura and I proposed it to him and Marshall, "what's the downside here?" We got out of the rain and weather, got showers, the kids got to run around and play, we already had our food ready to go from camping, and Ryan got to see Marshall's home brew set up. With the car already packed up we were able to get on the road early and get a great head start and got home to SD by 1:30pm on Monday. Then Cheryl picked Aurora up to go up to the Cross's leaving Ryan and I some free time alone to unpack and get everything cleaned up!

Lucky too, because on Tuesday we had a stroke of really bad luck - Some old lady thought she had a green and turned RIGHT IN FRONT of Ryan who was going straight down Clairemont Mesa Blvd at Ruffin on his way home. He didn't even have time to react and T-boned her at ~40mph. Both cars un-drivable and she was taken away in an ambulance for minor injures. Ryan was ok but I made him go in to get checked out that night (xrays came back fine) and he's just really sore now. So we are down to one car until we get this whole thing figured out. We are pretty sure they will find she was totally at fault, as he had the green light, and it was still green when he got out of the car at the scene, and he has a few witnesses who saw the whole thing, and the police came out and did a report, but you never know! So NOT what we need right now with everything else going on!

Aurora has been a pain in the ass lately too. Sooo opinionated and stubborn. Im hoping it has to do with her schedule - we have had so much going on (Memorial Day Weekend, the accident, events for Blake & Alyssa's wedding) that her schedule has been thrown off, so hopefully its just related to that and once we get back on track it will be better. Im also hoping that she will enjoy the time off with mom and the new baby and not be upset and have jealousy issues. But we will have to see how that goes too...